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Newly "sober" terrified of failure

Old 09-13-2015, 06:26 PM
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Newly "sober" terrified of failure

I have not had anything to drink for 24 hours at this point. I vowed that yesteady was my last crippling hangover. I am 28, a wife, mother to a 7 year old boy and work a full time job but have been a functioning, closeted alcoholic for the past 2 & 1/2 years. All of the things around me that are so wonderful, I am alienating myself from due to my drinking let alone I can feel my health declining and my looks being affected. After making this decision I was buying two bottles if wine every day, one white, one red, hiding them in a large bag when I'd bring them in from the car, pour them into Red Bull cans or iced tea bottles and try to protect this secret of mine from everyone including my husband, who has made some comments about empty wine bottles he found but I talked my way out of it. He has left me alone about it ever since. I am trying so hard to imagine my life without needing to drink but the false friendship it has given me through a steep fall into depression is so hard to let go. I would love some support here and if there is anyone out there, interested in sharing eachother's experiences via online chatting, I think that could be very beneficial. I'm scared of failing and don't know if I'll be able to conquer this alone.
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Old 09-13-2015, 06:37 PM
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Welcome Trippin, you're in the right place to get support getting sober. Just getting through day one is such a huge step. Tons of great information and advice here, this place has been my best friend for the past 8 weeks.
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Old 09-13-2015, 06:45 PM
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Welcome Trippin. You will find an outstanding group of people here who are willing to help 24/7, lend advice or share their experiences. Reading the forum and posting often really help me.
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Old 09-13-2015, 06:47 PM
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It's great to meet you, trippin. You are never alone with this - we all understand how you're feeling.

I was doing the same secretive stuff. I was much older than you, and drinking all day when I first came to SR. I'm so glad you are aware that you're in trouble & have reached out for support. Reading and posting here will help. You are so right - it is a false friend - one who turns on us in the end.
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Old 09-13-2015, 06:47 PM
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Me too

Thanks for sharing. I'm in almost literally the same situation ... Sober for 24 hours now, had been hiding drinks from my husband, etc. You're not alone. We can do this together. I'm
Glad I found these forums tonight. I'll definitely be back. Hang in there .... You're doing the right thing.
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Old 09-13-2015, 07:02 PM
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Welcome.

Suggest reading this book.

Alcoholics Anonymous : Alcoholics Anonymous

Posted w permission AAWS Inc.

Start with...

Bills Story, pg. 13, Para. 2.

If you are having withdrawal problems....see a Dr.

Otherwise...

Eat clean, tons of water, multi vit, sleep, sleep, repeat.

Eat/drink when you crave.

In about 10 days or so, you will be clean.

Then the anxiety starts.
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Old 09-13-2015, 07:50 PM
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Hi Trippin,

I am also 28 and quitting for good. I am on day 4 and I already feel so much better. But also, terrified that this won't "stick." I am trying to stay close to this site all day long. Cravings come and when they do I recognize them, say to myself "I don't drink" and move on. Sometimes this happens as often as 10 times in 5 minutes. It's rough at first. But let's hang in there!!! I know there is light at the end of this tunnel. Everyone says so. We just have to believe it HUUGS!
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Old 09-13-2015, 08:00 PM
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Welcome trippin!

You won't regret not drinking. It isn't always easy but try to stay focused on this moment/day. Don't future trip about failure. Today you're sober. Make the same commitment to yourself tomorrow morning before you get out of bed. Lay there and be mindful....."I will not drink today". Helps me anyway

Withdrawal is different for everyone. Usually I'm feeling much better after 3-5 days. If you get really uncomfortable pls don't hesitate to call your dr. Maybe Google alcohol withdrawal just to have some knowledge.

Have you thought of discussing this with your hub? Wine is pretty smelly stuff. He might know more than you think....
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Old 09-13-2015, 08:03 PM
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in the early days, I'd tell myself that I wouldn't drink that hour, just to see how things would be sober, and that maybe, just maybe, I could drink tomorrow and when tomorrow came, I said, maybe I won't drink just today.....I did this a lot in early recovery!

glad you found SR!
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Old 09-13-2015, 08:19 PM
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Hi and welcome. Im on day one myself. I am a 2 bottles of wine a day kinda gal too (with kids)and I have simply had enough.

Tonight is going to be the hardest for me, but I'm going to log into here and chat in the September thread when the cravings hit. I'm definitely planning an early night for myself, the earlier I go to bed, the easier it will be to not drink!

I'm also going to distract my hands and keep them busy by colouring in, or I just found the arcade tab at the top of this site, so many games to keep you occupied!

I'm not sure where in the world you are, I'm in Australia, but please message me when you feel it's getting too hard, we can maybe help eachother?
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Old 09-13-2015, 09:45 PM
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Hi Trippin -- I understand finding it hard to imagine a life without alcohol. I was terrified to give it up, and terrified I wouldn't be able to quit ....somehow afraid of failing at quitting and afraid of succeeding at quitting, both at the same time! I just want to reassure you that it CAN be done, many have done it, and that you can have a rich, full and happy life without it. When I drank, I thought alcohol was helping me cope and making my life better, but actually it was making everything much harder than it had to be.
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Old 09-13-2015, 10:01 PM
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You've made the right decision to come here . It was Your decision and that's what's important . Keep coming here and you will get tons of support .
I relate to the decanting / hiding bit , I went to great lengths to conceal my drinking but my wife isn't daft she knew , partners generally do know . We think were invisible sometimes like when we were a small kid we would cover our eyes and think no one could see us lol .
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Old 09-13-2015, 10:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Tam.S View Post
. We think were invisible sometimes like when we were a small kid we would cover our eyes and think no one could see us lol .
Such a great analogy! And we do it to ourselves too: close our eyes and think the problem with drinking will go away.
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Old 09-13-2015, 11:20 PM
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A bad hangover got me started on my new sober life. You can do it! Turn down that first drink, then the next and you'll start to get the hang of it. Always good to check in with your Dr..
-Ted
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Old 09-14-2015, 12:03 AM
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Trust me it is possible, you absolutely can get free from this slavery. I have to agree with others, your husband probably knows. A lot of partners of alcoholics, who are not alcoholics themselves, just do not understand the depth of the problem, know what to do and/or are afraid to acknowledge it. Do you have an otherwise positive relationship with your husband? Could you speak to him about what is going on and ask for help? He still might not know what to do or how to help you but sometimes some accountability can be useful.

I was also a two bottle of wine (or more) a day drinker. You are right, it takes a toll on your health, your looks, weight, finances, everything. Not to mention your energy and ability to enjoy life. You are a slave to the bottle, that is not life!

I assume due to your user name choice you are a DMB fan? I thought these links might be of interest to you:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...band-fans.html

Natural High: The new (sober) concert culture - Diversions - News | Renew Everyday

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/04/ar...imes&smtyp=cur

Phellowship - Archives
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Old 09-14-2015, 07:46 AM
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Such a food point and thank you. My husband is wonderful and I could definitely talk to him about this I've just been too ashamed and afraid to but now I'm thinking it would be good to keep me honest. Otherwise he'll think it's just a normal caffinated drink I'm holding. I am a DMB fan (it's rare for someone to recognize so I'm so glad you did!) His music is actually pretty inspiring to come out of this. Thank you so much for that link... really appreciate the kind words. Thank you!
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Old 09-14-2015, 09:20 AM
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Welcome Trippinbillies
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Old 09-14-2015, 09:32 AM
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His music is fantastic! I've got a lot of personal connections to both the band and his music (being from the town where he got started). I also once lived in THE "warehouse" What is your favorite song?
I know Dave drinks, but there are a lot of sober fans. There are also a lot of sober musicians as well. Sometimes something as banal as that gives me a little boost. Give it a google, you will find tons of sober musicians!
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Old 09-14-2015, 10:45 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Trippinbillies!!
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Old 09-14-2015, 02:16 PM
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Thank you Merv.. yes his music is a big part of my life. I actually got to meet Boyd once which was amazing. Thats the closest tie I have but wow sounds like you're a bugger fan than me my fav Dave song is definitely all along the watchtower and dare I say it exceeds Dylan and hendrix. You're right, Dave has a lot of references about drinking in his music but no more than the healthy love inducing way of it. Maybe some songs like the dreaming tree touch on it as a problem but I can enjoy the green stuff in healthy doses which is really hoe he's better listened to. I'm from Oregon and have seen him at the gorge 6 times. His music is actually helping me at this point. I'm listening to a redrocks album as I type. So glad I found someone here with similar tastes that can discuss more than my issues. Thank you for reaching out. I hope we continue talking.
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