AugustWest11

On my 3rd beer; I have no more & it's 6am so stores don't open till 8... But I have a family engagement, so I can't by more anyway. I'm very disappointed in myself, but at the same time relaxed about it.

I've hit a brick wall recently & I honestly don't know why I got them in the first place. Being alone, disdain in who I've been recently; just not sure. All I know is I'm going to a family event @ 11 & know I can nor, nor will I buy more.

I'm just at a loss as to why I did it in the first place. But can't dwell on that now. Need to focus on what NOT to do in the future.

Dennis

My name is August West, and I love my Pearly Baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though he's no friend of mine.

Dee74

Drinking doesn't solve anything Dennis.

Whatever problems issues or feelings you drank over, you have to find other ways of dealing with them.

Thats the bottom line. There's no problem so bad that alcohol won't make it worse.

I actually hope you don't stay relaxed about this if I'm honest.
Be very unrelaxed about this, man.

You've come too far to go back now.

D

IOAA2

Hi.
It’s so good you know what to do and came back. You know most of the things we need to do so start over and try easy does it.

There are a multitude of reasons I drank when I knew what the consequences would be, my reason is simple, I’m an alcoholic and cannot drink in safety and mostly was quite delusional about drinking.

Fortunately that was a lot of years ago, one day at a time.

BE WELL

trachemys

As I've suggested to others: when you feel like a drink, come here and ask for permission.

AugustWest11

You both are right; but your right on Dee, as usual. I shouldn't be so relaxed about it cause it just blows the doors wide open. Enticing my, calling to me. The struggling I've gone through I thought would give me strength, but it has weakened my opposition to booze more than I thought it would.

I said I was at peace because I'm trying not to beat myself up; but you are so right. I don't need to beat myself up I need to see it for what it is.

A huge mistake in my greater plan. If it can happen that easily, I need to be more diligent in protecting myself. Once again Dee you have been the voice I needed to hear. Thanx.

Dennis

My name is August West, and I love my Pearly Baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though he's no friend of mine.

endlesspatience

Hope you find a way of this trap, my friend. We can talk about it more when you sober up, maybe.

Rar

HI August. You did a great and very smart thing by posting here. I didn't post and ask for help after I relapsed after several months of sobriety. One day I had a couple of drinks and thought, "That wasn't so bad. I just have to watch myself." A few days later I had another and began the slippery slope of thinking I could moderate. I was able to moderate for awhile, but now I'm back to the amount I was last year. If I had posted as you did, I likely would not have taken those drinks - or at the very least, not continued to drink the others.

You did great by posting. Congrats on your renewed commitment.

AugustWest11

Yea I think I posted b\c of how relaxed I feel. It has awoken me to what could be if I continue to think Ohhh 3 beers is nothing. The feelings of disgust are not there like every other time I relapsed & it does frighten me.

Dennis

My name is August West, and I love my Pearly Baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though he's no friend of mine.

thomas11

Dennis, you've had 3 beers at 6AM. You know better. Hang in there buddy. Get back on track. You can do it.

SoberLeigh

Glad you came here to talk about this, AW.

We alcoholics can never become complacent; we need to remain proactive in our recovery.

AugustWest11

Hahaha no offense; it was only 3 beers, not even a buzz so no need to sober up. I just had a family engagement yesterday with no WiFi or I would have been posting all day.

I have allot going on as usual & this time unrelated to booze. I had the three beers to deal w\ the family chaos & questions & such. The only thing that concerns me is I had the three & have it in my head I can manage that

Dennis

My name is August West, and I love my Pearly Baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though he's no friend of mine.

SoberLeigh

That is a very valid reason for concern, AW - very dangerous thinking; we alcoholics know just where that thinking leads - no where we want to go.

Stay strong, AW.

AugustWest11

Exactly I've turned down 3invites to today's football game b\c I know I'm not ready to be around that now. Although the wings sounded damn good hahaha

Dennis

My name is August West, and I love my Pearly Baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though he's no friend of mine.

ScottFromWI

Lots of good advice here already AW. I'd reinforce Dee's comment that you really should be taking this a little more seriously. Even one beer is one too many for us, and as you mentioned in your original post here you would still be drinking more if you had it. Why did you have beer at your place to begin with?

thomas11

I can relate to that. I turn down social events on purpose. I'd rather be alone and sober, than around a bunch of people drunk. Is that screwed up? I don't know, but it works for me.

AugustWest11

Can't give you an honest answer Scott. I could or normally would say the stress of the family event got to me, or any of the other things in my head. But as for an honest answer as to why, no clue ..

Dennis

My name is August West, and I love my Pearly Baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though he's no friend of mine.