The Biography of a Displaced Al-Anon Guy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 3
The Biography of a Displaced Al-Anon Guy
I have, in the last year or so, gone through some things that, looking back on it, seem both horrifying and not so bad, all at once. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Since this is my first post here, I may as well make it a good one.
I'm a native of New Jersey, having been born almost three months early and weighing something like a pound and ten ounces. Looking at it now, it's a miracle I'm typing these words now.
No one's ever really told me why I came out of the oven so early, but I can hazard a guess nowadays. But I'm digressing...back to it...I suppose my childhood was the proverbial American one, or so I thought - I played ball, read books and all of that. I was unusually bright as a child (and modest, too, darn it!), reading at a very young age (no specifics). Sadly, that's worn away now, and the I of the present day is just another guy, albeit one who's got a different view on life than most.
Most of my view on life has been shaped over the past year, a year where I've grown little physically but an awful lot emotionally.
And I come to the reason I'm typing this now, for around this time last year, my mother entered a rehab facility for the first time. Her drinking, something that had been a problem for some time, had gotten much worse. I have, it seems, repressed a large amount of my childhood, so I don't really know any specific details. But she had worked with my dad for about five or six years, operating a mom-and-pop "floor covering" store...until her drinking became too much of a problem for that to continue. I'm talking hour-long "lunch breaks"...all sorts of stuff along those lines. I can't even recall how many times I called work only to not be able to understand what she was saying. I'm not sure whether remembering this stuff does me more harm than good, or vice versa, but I hate keeping it inside.
Anyway, around last August, after a particularly awful week, we got her into a facility - where she entered detox, stayed for a couple of days - and then got kicked out. Lack of space. F*cking health care. She came home, marginally better for a few days...and then it went back to normal. Whatever that was.
Until late November. I, in my senior year of high school and being generally lazy, stayed home from school. "Headache". Yeah, that was it. So, too, did my wonderful 9 year old little sister Ashley - because she could do that and get away with it. My dad went to work. Around 9 o'clock in the morning or thereabouts, my mom told me she was leaving to go...somewhere. I don't know where. Half-asleep, I said, "OK", or something like that. Around 11:30, she called again, asking if I wanted lunch. My head did hurt at this point, and I told her so, probably whining a little bit. She hung up. I went back to sleep. Sounds like a normal day, right?
Well, five hours later I knew it wasn't. My mom wasn't home, wasn't answering her phone, and...eventually, around 6, my dad called.
My mom had been arrested. DUI. Apparently she drove right over one of those barriers in a parking lot. At noon. For five hours, she refused to give the officers a number to call. They had to use their own means of reaching my dad.
That was, quite obviously, a surprise. But it got everything in gear, at least. No more hiding my mom's drinking problems. We got her checked into a center in Delaware, one that she could actually stay in. Three weeks later, she "had made a lot of progress". She was "one of the best people in there". Led groups, sounded like she had changed, sounded, for the first time in a long time, healthy and happy. I didn't know - talked to her on the phone, but didn't see her. Too angry, too scared, too confused. But I had hope.
Three days later...on Christmas, no less, it was gone. How? I got some socks for Christmas. (Hell of a gift for a 17 year old boy, but I was happy) I took some old socks out of my drawer upstairs, and went to go throw them out in the garbage can in the kitchen. Why? I have no idea. I open the lid to the garbage can...and found a vodka bottle, empty. The only thing in the garbage. I stared for a second, threw the socks in the trash, and flipped out. And told no one but my closest friend. Figured it couldn't be true.
Denial. Oops. Well, my silence gave my mom the chance to change. She didn't. It got worse. By the same time in January, she was living with her mother, my grandmother. No job, not a lot of money...nothing, really. It was a miserable three or four months for her, and for all of us. She visited my sister and I, mostly on the weekends, and her drinking was sporadic. She moved back home for good around May, and she's been drinking off and on since then. Some weeks, it's real bad, and some weeks she doesn't drink at all, perhaps.
But I'm free of it all now - I may be a native New Jerseyan, but I'm in Virginia now, off to continue my education. Been down here three weeks, actually. I hate it...but after hearing what happene three weeks ago, I guess I have to appreciate it.
My mom had not been drinking the few weeks before I was set to leave, but she started up again the few days just before my departure. The day before, I had to leave the house - I couldn't take it anymore. My dad and I left early on a Tuesday...it's a 7 or so hour drive, so it was a hike. My mom was drinking, then - I had left a suit jacket at home, so half an hour into our long, long drive, we turned around. I had suspected she was drinking even before that, though my dad didn't think so. When we got back, there was no doubt.
We drove down after that, staying somewhat calm. After my mom called my dad's cell phone and greeted him with "F*ck you", I just went to sleep, an slept much of the drive down. My dad kept his cool, and we got there in one piece. Two days later, I was moved in, and he drove back home. He arrived, apparently, to his still-intoxicated partner. And, so he tells me, she was trying to fight him. He called the police. She left (willingly), to go stay at "her sponsor", supposedly. Her sponsor that doesn't do sh*t, but that's irrelevant. Three days later, she came home, and said nothing.
It's now about ten days later. My mom is going to a counselor and has been fine, even somewhat nice (according to my dad), since their big fight. But I know better than to get my hopes up.
I think I've learned a lot in the past year - about success, failure, hope, promise, myself, other people, and all of that. But I'm still awfully confused, and I'm really without an Al-Anon meeting here. There's nothing on campus, and the only local one that I can make is full of a bunch of housewives - no disrespect intended, but I can't relate to that.
So I seeked out somewhere else, because I'm awfully confused, and having a heck of a time down here. Thankfully, my school's campus is "dry", meaning that I won't have to deal with finding paper bags in the garbage again. But there's still drinking here, even though I certainly don't want to be a part of it.
That makes me a bit of an odd bird here. And I'm confused as heck on my good days - here, I've got a lot of free time and it's been eating at me. I figured that signing up here would only bring me a little bit of the peace that I had at times while going to Al-Anon for 8 months back home.
I wish I could help my dad, who I've grown incredibly close to over the last year, and my little sister, who I love like she's my own. I wish I could help my mom, too, but I know it ain't happening. Still, as I try to justify why I'm at school here, I think about all that I did at home and think that I'd be better off there. My dad's going to see a lawyer soon, he says, so he and my mom can begin getting "divorced" (they've never married, hence the quotes). I hope he does that, but I worry...there were times last March when I would do the laundry, the dishes, help cook dinner, clean the house, help my sister do her work - like a surrogate parent.
I still feel like that, only now I've got no one to take care of and nothing to care about, really. Typical of an Al-Anon member, no?
I've gone on for far too long now...but despite being an incredibly introverted guy on the outside, I tend to talk an awful, awful lot. In Al-Anon, someone would always listen. I may talk...but I hope to listen, too, and try to offer some advice. Thanks for letting me go on.
Craig
I'm a native of New Jersey, having been born almost three months early and weighing something like a pound and ten ounces. Looking at it now, it's a miracle I'm typing these words now.
No one's ever really told me why I came out of the oven so early, but I can hazard a guess nowadays. But I'm digressing...back to it...I suppose my childhood was the proverbial American one, or so I thought - I played ball, read books and all of that. I was unusually bright as a child (and modest, too, darn it!), reading at a very young age (no specifics). Sadly, that's worn away now, and the I of the present day is just another guy, albeit one who's got a different view on life than most.
Most of my view on life has been shaped over the past year, a year where I've grown little physically but an awful lot emotionally.
And I come to the reason I'm typing this now, for around this time last year, my mother entered a rehab facility for the first time. Her drinking, something that had been a problem for some time, had gotten much worse. I have, it seems, repressed a large amount of my childhood, so I don't really know any specific details. But she had worked with my dad for about five or six years, operating a mom-and-pop "floor covering" store...until her drinking became too much of a problem for that to continue. I'm talking hour-long "lunch breaks"...all sorts of stuff along those lines. I can't even recall how many times I called work only to not be able to understand what she was saying. I'm not sure whether remembering this stuff does me more harm than good, or vice versa, but I hate keeping it inside.
Anyway, around last August, after a particularly awful week, we got her into a facility - where she entered detox, stayed for a couple of days - and then got kicked out. Lack of space. F*cking health care. She came home, marginally better for a few days...and then it went back to normal. Whatever that was.
Until late November. I, in my senior year of high school and being generally lazy, stayed home from school. "Headache". Yeah, that was it. So, too, did my wonderful 9 year old little sister Ashley - because she could do that and get away with it. My dad went to work. Around 9 o'clock in the morning or thereabouts, my mom told me she was leaving to go...somewhere. I don't know where. Half-asleep, I said, "OK", or something like that. Around 11:30, she called again, asking if I wanted lunch. My head did hurt at this point, and I told her so, probably whining a little bit. She hung up. I went back to sleep. Sounds like a normal day, right?
Well, five hours later I knew it wasn't. My mom wasn't home, wasn't answering her phone, and...eventually, around 6, my dad called.
My mom had been arrested. DUI. Apparently she drove right over one of those barriers in a parking lot. At noon. For five hours, she refused to give the officers a number to call. They had to use their own means of reaching my dad.
That was, quite obviously, a surprise. But it got everything in gear, at least. No more hiding my mom's drinking problems. We got her checked into a center in Delaware, one that she could actually stay in. Three weeks later, she "had made a lot of progress". She was "one of the best people in there". Led groups, sounded like she had changed, sounded, for the first time in a long time, healthy and happy. I didn't know - talked to her on the phone, but didn't see her. Too angry, too scared, too confused. But I had hope.
Three days later...on Christmas, no less, it was gone. How? I got some socks for Christmas. (Hell of a gift for a 17 year old boy, but I was happy) I took some old socks out of my drawer upstairs, and went to go throw them out in the garbage can in the kitchen. Why? I have no idea. I open the lid to the garbage can...and found a vodka bottle, empty. The only thing in the garbage. I stared for a second, threw the socks in the trash, and flipped out. And told no one but my closest friend. Figured it couldn't be true.
Denial. Oops. Well, my silence gave my mom the chance to change. She didn't. It got worse. By the same time in January, she was living with her mother, my grandmother. No job, not a lot of money...nothing, really. It was a miserable three or four months for her, and for all of us. She visited my sister and I, mostly on the weekends, and her drinking was sporadic. She moved back home for good around May, and she's been drinking off and on since then. Some weeks, it's real bad, and some weeks she doesn't drink at all, perhaps.
But I'm free of it all now - I may be a native New Jerseyan, but I'm in Virginia now, off to continue my education. Been down here three weeks, actually. I hate it...but after hearing what happene three weeks ago, I guess I have to appreciate it.
My mom had not been drinking the few weeks before I was set to leave, but she started up again the few days just before my departure. The day before, I had to leave the house - I couldn't take it anymore. My dad and I left early on a Tuesday...it's a 7 or so hour drive, so it was a hike. My mom was drinking, then - I had left a suit jacket at home, so half an hour into our long, long drive, we turned around. I had suspected she was drinking even before that, though my dad didn't think so. When we got back, there was no doubt.
We drove down after that, staying somewhat calm. After my mom called my dad's cell phone and greeted him with "F*ck you", I just went to sleep, an slept much of the drive down. My dad kept his cool, and we got there in one piece. Two days later, I was moved in, and he drove back home. He arrived, apparently, to his still-intoxicated partner. And, so he tells me, she was trying to fight him. He called the police. She left (willingly), to go stay at "her sponsor", supposedly. Her sponsor that doesn't do sh*t, but that's irrelevant. Three days later, she came home, and said nothing.
It's now about ten days later. My mom is going to a counselor and has been fine, even somewhat nice (according to my dad), since their big fight. But I know better than to get my hopes up.
I think I've learned a lot in the past year - about success, failure, hope, promise, myself, other people, and all of that. But I'm still awfully confused, and I'm really without an Al-Anon meeting here. There's nothing on campus, and the only local one that I can make is full of a bunch of housewives - no disrespect intended, but I can't relate to that.
So I seeked out somewhere else, because I'm awfully confused, and having a heck of a time down here. Thankfully, my school's campus is "dry", meaning that I won't have to deal with finding paper bags in the garbage again. But there's still drinking here, even though I certainly don't want to be a part of it.
That makes me a bit of an odd bird here. And I'm confused as heck on my good days - here, I've got a lot of free time and it's been eating at me. I figured that signing up here would only bring me a little bit of the peace that I had at times while going to Al-Anon for 8 months back home.
I wish I could help my dad, who I've grown incredibly close to over the last year, and my little sister, who I love like she's my own. I wish I could help my mom, too, but I know it ain't happening. Still, as I try to justify why I'm at school here, I think about all that I did at home and think that I'd be better off there. My dad's going to see a lawyer soon, he says, so he and my mom can begin getting "divorced" (they've never married, hence the quotes). I hope he does that, but I worry...there were times last March when I would do the laundry, the dishes, help cook dinner, clean the house, help my sister do her work - like a surrogate parent.
I still feel like that, only now I've got no one to take care of and nothing to care about, really. Typical of an Al-Anon member, no?
I've gone on for far too long now...but despite being an incredibly introverted guy on the outside, I tend to talk an awful, awful lot. In Al-Anon, someone would always listen. I may talk...but I hope to listen, too, and try to offer some advice. Thanks for letting me go on.
Craig
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: in the muck
Posts: 19
Do you have interests of your own that you could develop? It sounds like it would be good for you to find a hobby or an interest so you aren't spending your time focusing on your family's lives. You may be away but your mind is still sitting in your family living room. You're so young, I'm sorry that you are having to deal with such awful things! Hang in there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by anniecake
Do you have interests of your own that you could develop? It sounds like it would be good for you to find a hobby or an interest so you aren't spending your time focusing on your family's lives. You may be away but your mind is still sitting in your family living room. You're so young, I'm sorry that you are having to deal with such awful things! Hang in there.
But I've resigned myself to doing something of my own here - I like to read, I like to write, I enjoy playing baseball and just taking long walks and not thinking.
But I've never really done a whole lot of extracurricular activities, or anything like that - always had to be home, taking care of that, you know? I'm hoping to find something - some volunteer organization, maybe - something that can keep me occupied here, because classes ain't gonna do it.
And you hit it on the head..."my mind is still sitting in my family living room". It's the bedroom, actually...that's where all the big fights took place, but it's still there. I guess I'm going to have to move past it, somehow.
Thank you very much for your reply.
Craig
It's a Puggle!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: On the road to sanity
Posts: 235
Craig,
You are where I was many, many years ago. I took care of everyone in my family for a very long time, but unlike you I didn't leave for college. My advice to you is to quit "resigning" yourself to things. You are very young and this time of your life is supposed to be about you. Write a book, join the ball team--ENJOY LIFE--you are allowed to do that!
Looking back, by staying and taking care of everyone, I didn't help them and I nearly destroyed me...and I spend a lot of time wondering what my life would be now had I chosen to go off to college. Figure out how to take care of you now that you are away from the chaos and the rest will fall into place.
Hugs,
Paula
You are where I was many, many years ago. I took care of everyone in my family for a very long time, but unlike you I didn't leave for college. My advice to you is to quit "resigning" yourself to things. You are very young and this time of your life is supposed to be about you. Write a book, join the ball team--ENJOY LIFE--you are allowed to do that!
Looking back, by staying and taking care of everyone, I didn't help them and I nearly destroyed me...and I spend a lot of time wondering what my life would be now had I chosen to go off to college. Figure out how to take care of you now that you are away from the chaos and the rest will fall into place.
Hugs,
Paula
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Welcome to SR Craig,
You sound like a smart kid and you are already pretty emotionally detached...that's a good thing. You also sound pretty enmeshed in the situation at home and that is not a good thing.
Ya know there are a lot of ways to achieve what you are after besides Alanon. You can look at the majors and class offerings at school. All the major religions teach that there is a "plan" for our lives and for other's. There is sociology and psychology. There is journalism and writing where you can pick the topic to research. Much of what I have learned through the years has come from a wide variety of sources.
Al Anon is not unique in helping us to cut through the crap and get on a better path. It is unique in the fellowship it offers...perhaps ACOA may be more to your liking.
You are in the enviable position of beginning school. You can use that to choose a path not only to financial security but to emotional maturity and serenity.
Hugs,
JT
You sound like a smart kid and you are already pretty emotionally detached...that's a good thing. You also sound pretty enmeshed in the situation at home and that is not a good thing.
Ya know there are a lot of ways to achieve what you are after besides Alanon. You can look at the majors and class offerings at school. All the major religions teach that there is a "plan" for our lives and for other's. There is sociology and psychology. There is journalism and writing where you can pick the topic to research. Much of what I have learned through the years has come from a wide variety of sources.
Al Anon is not unique in helping us to cut through the crap and get on a better path. It is unique in the fellowship it offers...perhaps ACOA may be more to your liking.
You are in the enviable position of beginning school. You can use that to choose a path not only to financial security but to emotional maturity and serenity.
Hugs,
JT
believer
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,023
Hi Craig and welcome,
I wish I had sought help and tried to wade through the muck of my dad's drinking when I went to college. I was just trying to escape that house, not realizing, as Annie said, that my mind was still in the living room. You have taken great steps to detach and deal with your family life and you should feel good about that.
I agree that ACOA meetings may be better for you. Since you also like to read, you may want to check out the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. I think it's something you could really relate to.
Take care and while you're here, visit our ACOA forum.
Hugs,
JG
I wish I had sought help and tried to wade through the muck of my dad's drinking when I went to college. I was just trying to escape that house, not realizing, as Annie said, that my mind was still in the living room. You have taken great steps to detach and deal with your family life and you should feel good about that.
I agree that ACOA meetings may be better for you. Since you also like to read, you may want to check out the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. I think it's something you could really relate to.
Take care and while you're here, visit our ACOA forum.
Hugs,
JG
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Craig, welcome!
I read JT's suggestion about ACOA and thought, "well heck YEH!". Check it out. Bound to be less housewifey.
Now as somebody who's read a lot of writing from college freshmen, I have to comment. Zounds. Great style. And that's how you write on a message board? Your papers must bring tears of joy to your professors. I have a feeling that you'll be turning that talent and your experience into things that could be helpful to a lot of folks. Keep writing it down!
I'm glad you joined us.
Hugs,
Smoke
I read JT's suggestion about ACOA and thought, "well heck YEH!". Check it out. Bound to be less housewifey.
Now as somebody who's read a lot of writing from college freshmen, I have to comment. Zounds. Great style. And that's how you write on a message board? Your papers must bring tears of joy to your professors. I have a feeling that you'll be turning that talent and your experience into things that could be helpful to a lot of folks. Keep writing it down!
I'm glad you joined us.
Hugs,
Smoke
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Des Moines, IA
Posts: 184
Welcome Craig!! First I just have to say what a beautifully written post. It's like you're telling my life story too though. I'm 22 and have (thank god) been out of my parents house for abou four years now. The drinking with my mom just started to get really bad about a year before that. I have a lot of repressed memories just like you said you did. I felt totally nuts when I first started to realize it (nice to know it's not just me)
It really does sound like we're both on the right track. And when you feel like you're not just remeber you didn't cause it, you can't change it, and you have to cope with it. Best wishes for you, your mom, your dad, and your little sister.
It really does sound like we're both on the right track. And when you feel like you're not just remeber you didn't cause it, you can't change it, and you have to cope with it. Best wishes for you, your mom, your dad, and your little sister.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Welcome Craig!! I agree with JT on the ACOA..it may be good for you! Repressing those memories at your age and working them through it a blessing that you really need to realize. As sweeks said "it is like you're telling her life story" you are hitting home I'm sure with alot of us! It took me going through all of that the way that you did...(in a different aspect-as we all have similar stories and feelings) being left home alone for weeks here and there at 14-, having lamps thrown at me, the language etc....this was with a parent and two sibilings-"oh joy". I married young when I was 21 to my high school sweetheart-he had a parent too which actually was worse than mine and we figure to help ourselves because we could not help or change them we would get married! (We were going to anyway) well much to my surprise 3 months after we were married he passed away in a very bad explosion at his fathers business, due to neglect on his fathers part.
Anyway ......my point is that it took me 10 years after that to seek help to repress all those memories and with that came all the childhood memories etc...and boy did it hurt but now it feels so good! We have to work through the bad to get to the good to the light of everything-your on the right path and although I know you must worry about your family they will be fine-take care of yourself and do what you need to do for you. It may seem selfish but in the end you will know your did the right thing! Good luck with school and please keep sharing, there are wonderful people here and it will help you gain alot of insight! I have not been here very long a week! And it is amazing the things we can all share with each other and the knowledge that we can gain-There are lessons to learn everyday of our lives ...some are harder than most but God does not give us anything that we ourselves cannot handle!
((((Hugs Craig)))) Kudo's to you!
Anyway ......my point is that it took me 10 years after that to seek help to repress all those memories and with that came all the childhood memories etc...and boy did it hurt but now it feels so good! We have to work through the bad to get to the good to the light of everything-your on the right path and although I know you must worry about your family they will be fine-take care of yourself and do what you need to do for you. It may seem selfish but in the end you will know your did the right thing! Good luck with school and please keep sharing, there are wonderful people here and it will help you gain alot of insight! I have not been here very long a week! And it is amazing the things we can all share with each other and the knowledge that we can gain-There are lessons to learn everyday of our lives ...some are harder than most but God does not give us anything that we ourselves cannot handle!
((((Hugs Craig)))) Kudo's to you!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Javatown
Posts: 92
Inspiring Bird
But there's still drinking here, even though I certainly don't want to be a part of it.
That makes me a bit of an odd bird here.
Welcome Craig!
It's funny, the majority of social activity is centered around drinking -it's Friday night, lets go to a BAR for fun!!!
I'll sometimes go to a bar/club/pool hall etc with friends, but it gets so boring after an hour & I have to move on to another activity that's actually doing something. I usually only drink Pepsi b/c I'm not a big fan of alcohol. That often makes people downright uncomfortable even though I don't comment on anyone else's beverage. I tend to stay out of bars. (Personally, I'd rather be working on a home project of any kind -painting, remodeling etc.)
Join something -maybe local Red Cross chapter? It looks fantastic on your resume and with all of the havoc from Charley and Frances, I'm sure they could use it. (I worked at Red Cross Natl HQ in NVA for 2 years during and after 9/11 and in hindsight, that actually taught me more about detachment with love than anything else ever could have.)
It is so inspiring to me to read your post -you are in college and moving forward. I agree with all the responses above -especially about your writing style.
Keep us updated!
~Red
That makes me a bit of an odd bird here.
Welcome Craig!
It's funny, the majority of social activity is centered around drinking -it's Friday night, lets go to a BAR for fun!!!
I'll sometimes go to a bar/club/pool hall etc with friends, but it gets so boring after an hour & I have to move on to another activity that's actually doing something. I usually only drink Pepsi b/c I'm not a big fan of alcohol. That often makes people downright uncomfortable even though I don't comment on anyone else's beverage. I tend to stay out of bars. (Personally, I'd rather be working on a home project of any kind -painting, remodeling etc.)
Join something -maybe local Red Cross chapter? It looks fantastic on your resume and with all of the havoc from Charley and Frances, I'm sure they could use it. (I worked at Red Cross Natl HQ in NVA for 2 years during and after 9/11 and in hindsight, that actually taught me more about detachment with love than anything else ever could have.)
It is so inspiring to me to read your post -you are in college and moving forward. I agree with all the responses above -especially about your writing style.
Keep us updated!
~Red
"learning to just be me"
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: corner of sanity and ...
Posts: 66
Welcome Craig.
Originally Posted by Craig
only now I've got no one to take care of and nothing to care about, really. Craig
Ever hear the "when I got busy, I got better" saying? It's tough the first year away, and even tougher if your mind is in NJ. All great ideas above. Codependent No More is definetly a read.
Interesting how you mention being an introvert. When I was living with alcoholism I took a myer-briggs personality test for a class. I was one point short of total-introvert. With some time away from the daily chaos, I know I am moving toward the middle-slowly.
Take care and keep posting.
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
Hey Craig,
Welcome. This forum and the other "anon" forums have been a big help to me. You said you were involved in Al-Anon before. Have you checked out any Al-Anon meetings where you are? That might be something you could get involved with. That is one of the things I like about going to meetings. I have something to do, I am making friends, which leads to more things to do. The activities I'm involved with are centered around positive things instead of alcohol or drugs.
Please come back and join us. There are some great people here and some great recovery going on. Hugs, Magic
Welcome. This forum and the other "anon" forums have been a big help to me. You said you were involved in Al-Anon before. Have you checked out any Al-Anon meetings where you are? That might be something you could get involved with. That is one of the things I like about going to meetings. I have something to do, I am making friends, which leads to more things to do. The activities I'm involved with are centered around positive things instead of alcohol or drugs.
Please come back and join us. There are some great people here and some great recovery going on. Hugs, Magic
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