Jack16

Hey folks,

Tonight I'm struggling. Feeling very lonely. Just went out to get something to eat and it seems like the whole world is out having fun, laughing and joking - living. The thought of staying in yet again, watching a DVD just p*sses me off.

Starting to wallow in a real hole of self pity. I just wish I could have some fun for once. Tired of working so hard to be positive and getting nothing back.

That's the end of my rant. Thanks

doggonecarl

You know how you get out of a hole? You pull yourself out.

What's stopping you from picking up the phone, calling a friend, and saying let's get together for a chat or a movie?

PurpleKnight

Is alcohol gonna create that fun? ? . . . I'd suggest going back and reading some of your older posts, there's a lot of misery in there, and realisation that alcohol is leading you down a path to nowhere!!

Alcohol is not the answer, it is not the centre of the social universe, you just gotta find what you want to do with your life and how to enjoy yourself, sitting in with a DVD can be a good alternative, but how about getting out there and joining a few clubs or societies, life is there for you to grasp, new ideas, new projects, what do you want to achieve with your time!!

Hang in there!! You can do this!!

SoberLeigh

I am so sorry, Jack. Loneliness can be a bear.

Have you tried googling "sober meet-up London"?

Jack16

Thanks doggonecarl - to be honest I'm not exactly overflowing with friends these days, tried calling / texting some people earlier on but they're all either busy or out getting drunk.

entropy1964

It's hard and I relate. I've only been at this a few months this time around and I just ended a two year relationship....so I'm healing. I know that after some time I will start back with a social club I joined a few years ago. I also find exercise and exercise classes can fill some time. Loneliness and boredom are a killer....I'm facing a long Friday night alone again. But it beats sitting here drinking alone. Hang in there. When you're ready start researching options.

zeppodog

I actually have a lot more fun when I'm sober, ride bicycles, ride motorcycles, work out, go to movies, don't know why I drink, I allways liked bars I guess but it's over for me.

Winthorpe

So you are having a sober night, Jack.

That means there are possibilities beyond having a drink.

Make a plan for tomrrow that couldn't work if you were hungover tomorrow.

Browse the internet for a place you've never seen that is an hour and a half drive away. Find a cheap hotel to stay there overnight. Book the hotel. Throw a pack into your trunk tonight. Have an adventure this weekend.

Or have a drink and have exactly the same weekend you've had a hundred times.

One or the other.

Choose life, Jack!

Jack16

Thanks people, yeah, I've been doing loads of meetup activities, and I've had fun, but haven't met any like-minded people.

I feel like I make such an effort to make new friends, to build my life up, to keep positive. But I just need something back, need someone to call me up for a change and ask me if I wanna do something. I feel so bored, just feel like life is passing me by.

Sorry, moan, moan, bl**dy moan

Thanks, I'll reread some old posts

Soberwolf

Funny enough I'm watching a DvD Jack but I know what you mean

Just remember its just tonight tomorrow's a new day I'm 33 I guess there are lots of 33 yr olds getting blind drunk & getting high as a kite tonight I'm glad I'm not in that hellish cycle no more were free Jack more than we have ever been were aware nothing like the disastrous old days

Be grateful for your not out there lost tonight bud

& maybe organise a night out with friends around something that isn't alcohol related

I'm really glad your here with us Jack

skipper123

lol! I just posted the same thoughts!! I too am having a really boring Friday night it has not bothered me up until tonight do not know why. Hope you can find something entertaining to kill the time until bed!!!

SoberLeigh

By the way, Jack, I've always loved your avatar. Vincent Van Gogh is one of my favorites.

Rar

Count me in too. I understand how you feel. I get very lonely and have a tendency to wallow in self pity on occasion too. Like you, I need to find some new ways to pass the evening hours. Until I do, I think I'll go to bed and read SR on my iPad. I like Soberwolf's post, "Tomorrow is another day."

Anna

It's okay to feel down sometimes, Jack, but try to remember that the feelings won't last. You're doing a lot of good things to help make your life positive and it will pay off.

Meraviglioso

Jack, I think that once you get to a certain age and life stage it is much more difficult to make friends. Unfortunately. A real friendship takes time, lots of time. When I think of the closest friends I have I either met them at school or at work- places where we were forced to be together for long, extended periods of time and our relationship gradually grew.
I am also having a hard time making friends now. I am just not in a place in my life where I am exposed daily to the same people.
But it is possible. It will just take time. Just because you go to sober meet ups doesn't mean you are going to get along with everyone. You go into those meet ups with only one thing in common- your sobriety. People here in Italy will often introduce me to fellow Americans and later wonder why we haven't become inseparable best friends. Well, there are millions of people in the US, I am not going to be friends with all of them. Same for other Americans living here, just because we share that one trait doesn't mean we will always hit if off as friends.
Just keep going. Eventually, mathematically, the more people you meet the more likely you are to find someone you click with.
I know it is hard, a tiresome and irritating. But when you finally find that one friend you really get on with it will be worth it.
In the meantime, have you ever watched the series Six Feet Under? Am re-watching the whole series now for the 4th time, it is THAT good!

Jack16

Big thanks to all of you for the support. It was what I needed

Jack16

Thank you Meraviglioso, really appreciate your response - wise words.

Yeah, I watched Six Feet Under years ago, but I never got to the end of it, so thanks I'll revisit it. Do you know it's just what I'm in the mood for.

FarToGo

I know loneliness very well, its really hard, sad, rubbish and sometimes won't shift, when it does I know we'll be together again very soon........... I get you and I feel for you.
I agree it gets harder to make friends as you get older, and sometimes we have to make do with a pleasant chat now and again. Keeping busy helps a bit and there's always a job around the home that needs doing, believe me I've done the hovering whilst crying.
I've just finished 6 feet under for the second time, great great drama to lose yourself in.
sending you good vibes and good luck for a shift in your fortunes. xx

zeppodog

I have found it really hard to make any real friends as I've gotten older, I'm 63, some old friends died, a couple moved too far away and I moved, the few I have left I call sometimes or chat on Facebook. We've been this area for 6 years and I've only made a few acquainteses. but not friends. Ya it's hard, don't consider someone a friend unless I've known them for years, a lot of my old riding buddies sold their bikes so just don't see them, if it weren't for my wife and kids I'd be lonely as hell.

Soberwolf

Have a nice evening Jack