HELP: Sister pregnant by alcoholic, drug addict

Old 09-09-2015, 08:19 AM
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HELP: Sister pregnant by alcoholic, drug addict

Really need some advice. Last summer, my sister finalized her divorce from her alcoholic husband of 10 years. She and her daughter lived with me and my family during the year and a half she worked through the divorce. She was working full time, going to school full time and being a single mom. We (me/husband and my parents) helped her financially with her divorce and took care of my niece during this time. She graduated with an RN in January, got a great new job, moved out on her own and it seemed like her life was on the upswing. But in March, we found out she moved out because a man she was secretly dating was kicked out of his place and needed somewhere to live. She was "in love". We were concerned because it was so sudden and the guy had no job, no vehicle and medical issues. But then we find out the guy also was an alcoholic and addicted to pain meds. OK, again we were concerned, especially for my niece, but accepted him for her sake. My sister "didn't want to hear it" and wanted us to give him another chance. He went to rehab for six weeks at her insistence and because he "wanted to keep her and her daughter in his life." He gets out and a week later, abandoned her at a bus stop and my niece at her summer program when he was supposed to pick them up *in my sister's car* because my sister had been late the day before getting him to a meeting. Because she was coming home from *work* and was stuck in traffic. She called me to come get her after she had sat there for two hours in 90-degree heat. He'd apparently also been cruel (her words) to her all week. Huge fight later, he was going to be committed for six months. The next day, he was still there living with her and all was forgiven because he was going to go to AA. Find out this past weekend he was drinking again with her knowledge. And oh happy day, she's pregnant. On purpose. And she wants her family's support and happiness. My question for you: Do I keep offering my support to my sister, even though it allows her to keep enabling and accepting his behavior? What do I do? Why won't she leave him? Doesn't she see what's happening? I'm so frustrated, scared and disgusted by the whole thing. And afraid of how it's affecting my niece. Now TWO men in her mom's life are actively drinking alcoholics. Help me, please.
MayL is offline  
Old 09-09-2015, 09:16 AM
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Oh, MayL my heart goes out to you and your family. I understand what you are going through.
I have no advise except to offer my support and prayers.
Have you participated in ALANON ? It's been a life saver for me.
My your higher power guide you.
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Old 09-09-2015, 11:27 AM
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Hello MayL,

Focus on your niece and the baby. Do what you feel comfortable in ways that will impact them.

There has always been women attracted to less than savory partners. Nothing we can say can make them see the light.
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