getright15

This the letter I wrote and read out loud during my group session at Outpatient Treatment. I just thought I'd share it with you guys.

Dear Alcohol,
I can’t tell you enough how you’ve messed up my life. The times I’ve thought you were there for me when I was down or feeling depressed you just made it worse. The anxiety and depression I’ve endured because of you led me to believe you were the answer to my problems. It turns out you are a liar. A bonafied liar in a bottle. You told me you’d give me a sense of euphoria, but instead I got hangovers from hell. You’ve made me not eat, not sleep, not go to work. I became something my wife couldn’t tolerate. A liar, a sneaky bastard that hid you when you said she wouldn’t be able to tell you were in me. Oh, she was able to tell right away as you smell and reek something vicious. Don’t you know I’ve been to jail because of you? I’ve spent thousands of dollars because of you. I haven’t even been able to trust myself because of you. What kind of friend do you think you are? You’re no friend of mine, and I can see right through your treacherous ways. You’ve set me up for failure. You don’t want me to succeed.
I’ve blazed a path of destruction because I thought you were a friend of mine that was near and dear to my heart. I hate what you’ve made me do all these years. You told me benders were the way to go and nothing would happen to me if I kept putting you first. Instead I got the opposite as things did happen. I saw my wife leave to stay at hotels, or left the city all together because I had you as a friend in my life. I put you first for so many years and wasted countless hours ingesting you thinking you’d make me feel better. You were supposed to take away the pain, but instead I got nothing but more heartache. I’ve had needles injected into my arms, handcuffs on my wrists, lawyers to pay along with scraping up bail money because I chose you over anything else. I’ve neglected myself and my family because I thought you were the one for me. I can’t fathom how you could do this to me for so long and I was blinded by what was in front of me. Your tricks were amazing. You are the best magician I’ve ever seen live. It was as if I was at a show on the strip. I was duped beyond belief.
Overall I can say we’ve had a good run. It really wasn’t fun though. My eyes are open and my head is clear. You’re not in my blood to cloud my judgement, and make me do idiotic things that I’d never do if I didn’t know you. I allowed you to control my life. My thoughts, my dreams, my actions, even my everyday occurrences. Hell, I’d say you controlled everything about me. I can’t look back at all my mistakes and say you weren’t involved. You were the guilty one all along. You’re the devil in liquid form. Nothing good has come from you. Look at what I have to deal with now because you said you were going to be there for me. Instead you abandoned me and let me fend for myself. When you aren’t there I can be a good husband, a good employee, a good father…damn why not go all the way. I can be a good person. I think I’m thru with you. I know I’m thru with you. The mess you’ve made of my life is enough and I won’t let you do it anymore. This is my goodbye letter to you. Please don’t try to write me back because I’m not giving you the return address. This is it for you. No more lies, no more trick, no more!
I say goodbye with a smile on my face!

ScottFromWI

Looks like you covered a lot of bases there getitright, thanks for sharing. I hope that this helps you with the IOP program as well.

blueberry2015

Such a powerful thing to write, I did one too in my very early days of sobriety and it helped loads!