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Moments of discouragement

Old 09-07-2015, 11:09 PM
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Moments of discouragement

So the long weekend comes to an end. No drinking here over the 3 day holiday, but that doesn't mean there weren't some discouraging moments. My wife can't fully trust me to go get gas or something to eat without the thought of me coming back smelling like beer or drunk for that matter. I know it's my fault as to why she feels that way. She told me that she often thinks about what if the rolls were reversed and she was the alcoholic and how I would handle it. I've put her through to much. I can only imagine how she feels.

I hate myself for it all. I hate that I put her in the position I have. I hate the legal issues I've put myself in. I hate how I've even let myself down in moments of weakness. I often say to myself what good am I doing here. I'm trying to better myself and my situation but does it really matter if I do? Sometimes I think no it doesn't. I'm just destined to fail. I don't want to go back in that hole of despair and feel like my life is worth nothing. I want to be able to celebrate life and be happy. I can say I haven't been happy in a long time in a long while. Mainly because of everything that I've done to myself and my family. I really hurt deep down inside. I wish all the BS never happened. I've made my bed and now I have to lay in it and it really sucks.

I hate you alcohol. You have ruined my life! I'm so angry with you!!
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Old 09-08-2015, 12:26 AM
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Sober time ,
that's whats needed to win peoples trust ,
to take the sharp edges from what we did drunk ,
to turn our drunken experience into experience to help relate and help with anothers sobriety .
It can be a hard slog , you can be the steady person you want to be , we change hugely in our early sobriety and hopefully keep on changing , sometimes it takes a while for the world to catch up ,

stay cool , keep on , day by day things will change untill in 3 or 4 years you'll look back and think wow was that really me ?



m
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Old 09-08-2015, 01:03 AM
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Don't be discouraged - you're free! Your life can only get better now as people slowly begin to trust you again.

Just gotta stay sober
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Old 09-08-2015, 03:10 AM
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To this day over 2 years in I give every single penny to Mrs sw she doesn't want it but still I give it to her

I trust myself & Mrs sw trusts me in time this will hopefully be the same for you

One thing I learnt here through D is that is pointless hating alcohol its inanimate its us that does the damage I hated alcohol too once btw but it was me wanting to drink me opening a bottle & me drinking

Your doing good Getright
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Old 09-08-2015, 04:19 PM
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You should be proud of yourself to be man enough to admit it. You are rebuilding yourself, and it all starts with a solid foundation, then you build it brick by brick. I'm sure there are days it sucks, but you have an opportunity in front of you. I believe its natural to have regrets. If you didn't feel some guilt and shame, that would be abnormal. Staying positive is often easier said than done, but it can be done. Tomorrow is a brand new day, and it can be a better one.
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Old 09-08-2015, 04:31 PM
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I do understand how painful times like that can be. I really do. This quote from Maya Angelou has gotten me through many hard days: “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” Remember that and keep it in your heart and do your best for yourself and your family every day. Don't allow this disease to pull you back into the dark depression and grief.
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Old 09-08-2015, 11:48 PM
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I appreciate the kind words. Reasons why I keep coming back to this site is because the support is real and everyone on here wants the next person to succeed!

Originally Posted by Anna View Post
I do understand how painful times like that can be. I really do. This quote from Maya Angelou has gotten me through many hard days: “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” Remember that and keep it in your heart and do your best for yourself and your family every day. Don't allow this disease to pull you back into the dark depression and grief.
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Old 09-09-2015, 01:10 PM
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I really hope to get there one day. Having years under my belt for being sober would be great! I know it's one day at time though. I'm at 1 week now and I hope to never have to start counting from zero again.


Originally Posted by mecanix View Post
Sober time ,
that's whats needed to win peoples trust ,
to take the sharp edges from what we did drunk ,
to turn our drunken experience into experience to help relate and help with anothers sobriety .
It can be a hard slog , you can be the steady person you want to be , we change hugely in our early sobriety and hopefully keep on changing , sometimes it takes a while for the world to catch up ,

stay cool , keep on , day by day things will change untill in 3 or 4 years you'll look back and think wow was that really me ?



m
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