Meth addicted partner
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: NSW
Posts: 2
Meth addicted partner
Hi i really need some help and support right now. My partner of 2 years has been on meth and recently his really been deteriorating i dont know what to do anymore or how to cope of help him and myself. In the past 2 months he has dissapeared, ignored my pleas then come back and i let him back in. He has lost a significant amount of weight, he has lost perception of time and reality and he has also started dealing the drug. I have threatend to leave and he pretty much walked out on me just yesterday. I know he will be back. But can someone tell me how do i cope with this? Im booked in for professional help in a few days but i really dont know how to deal, my heart is torn, i love him so much but i feel nothing i say can help him ive literally tried everything. Im just so hurt and confused and he use to be such a loving person now i only see glimpses of him. I have tried to move on but im constantly praying and thinking about him.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this. It's very difficult to have any kind of relationship with someone actively addicted to meth. No amount of begging or pleading or trying to reason with them will get them to see the damage they are causing to themselves and others around them.
My son's DOC is meth. He has cycled through active use and recovery many times. When he actively uses.....he is dark, secretive, angry, argumentative and generally impossible to be around. When he is in recovery, he is open and light, funny, kind, and compassionate.
Basically, I have had to distance myself from him when he is actively using and embrace him when he's clean. After dealing with addiction for so long.....I know one thing is absolutely true.....love does not cure addiction......if love alone was all it took.....my son would never have become addicted in the first place.
As long as an addict can have his/her cake and eat it too.....they'll continue to use. I'm most concerned for you since he is now dealing meth as that puts you at great risk in many ways.
No matter how much I love anyone, I know that my responsibility is to take care of me first. It sounds selfish but it's not.
Take care of you.
My son's DOC is meth. He has cycled through active use and recovery many times. When he actively uses.....he is dark, secretive, angry, argumentative and generally impossible to be around. When he is in recovery, he is open and light, funny, kind, and compassionate.
Basically, I have had to distance myself from him when he is actively using and embrace him when he's clean. After dealing with addiction for so long.....I know one thing is absolutely true.....love does not cure addiction......if love alone was all it took.....my son would never have become addicted in the first place.
As long as an addict can have his/her cake and eat it too.....they'll continue to use. I'm most concerned for you since he is now dealing meth as that puts you at great risk in many ways.
No matter how much I love anyone, I know that my responsibility is to take care of me first. It sounds selfish but it's not.
Take care of you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
as hard as it is, your only true solution is to quit having anything to do with an active meth addict who is also dealing. he is capable of doing you great harm in a meth induced pyschosis......he is capable of robbing you blind......you are open to attack or confrontation from other meth heads. you do not want to have the cops come busting down the door and finding drugs in your home.
he is not rational. and there is NOTHING you can do. you've tried. but you are up against a formidable foe and you stand to lose everything.
sorry to be so blunt, but this is serious stuff.
Crystal Meth
Crystal methamphetamine ("crystal meth", "jib", "ice", "chalk", "fire") is a street drug that has increased significantly in popularity throughout British Columbia over the past several years, especially in youth and young adults. It is cheap and easy to find, as it can be made in simple home laboratories (although often what is sold on the streets as crystal meth is not pure methamphetamine but a mix of drugs).
"Crystal meth" is a potent stimulant. It creates a tremendous rush, or powerful feeling, and increases energy and activity. There is also an increased sexual drive, which can result in prolonged sex and an increased chance of engaging in higher risk sexual activities. "Crystal meth" can be smoked, ingested, snorted, or injected. It can also have other effects like agitation, paranoia, confusion and violence. Grinding of teeth and obsessive picking at one's body are physical signs of use. These acute effects can last anywhere from 8 to 24 hours. Withdrawal effects include anxiety and depression, and feeling "sketchy".
The more a person uses 'crystal meth', the more they crave it, making it very difficult to quit. Continued use can result in rapid weight loss and malnourishment. Although longer term research needs to be done to verify the effects of "crystal meth", it is currently believed that long term heavy use can impair the brain's ability to process information and may create structural changes to the brain.
It is estimated that 10-20% of "crystal meth" abusers develop psychosis.
Typical symptoms include paranoia and auditory hallucinations, which cannot be distinguished from other psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.
The onset of psychosis often occurs gradually with continued use but can sometimes occur suddenly even with very little use. Using 'crystal meth' can trigger the psychosis, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the psychosis will end when the drug use stops. The use of crystal meth in someone who already has a psychotic disorder can make treatment less effective.
- mindcheck.ca
he is not rational. and there is NOTHING you can do. you've tried. but you are up against a formidable foe and you stand to lose everything.
sorry to be so blunt, but this is serious stuff.
Crystal Meth
Crystal methamphetamine ("crystal meth", "jib", "ice", "chalk", "fire") is a street drug that has increased significantly in popularity throughout British Columbia over the past several years, especially in youth and young adults. It is cheap and easy to find, as it can be made in simple home laboratories (although often what is sold on the streets as crystal meth is not pure methamphetamine but a mix of drugs).
"Crystal meth" is a potent stimulant. It creates a tremendous rush, or powerful feeling, and increases energy and activity. There is also an increased sexual drive, which can result in prolonged sex and an increased chance of engaging in higher risk sexual activities. "Crystal meth" can be smoked, ingested, snorted, or injected. It can also have other effects like agitation, paranoia, confusion and violence. Grinding of teeth and obsessive picking at one's body are physical signs of use. These acute effects can last anywhere from 8 to 24 hours. Withdrawal effects include anxiety and depression, and feeling "sketchy".
The more a person uses 'crystal meth', the more they crave it, making it very difficult to quit. Continued use can result in rapid weight loss and malnourishment. Although longer term research needs to be done to verify the effects of "crystal meth", it is currently believed that long term heavy use can impair the brain's ability to process information and may create structural changes to the brain.
It is estimated that 10-20% of "crystal meth" abusers develop psychosis.
Typical symptoms include paranoia and auditory hallucinations, which cannot be distinguished from other psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.
The onset of psychosis often occurs gradually with continued use but can sometimes occur suddenly even with very little use. Using 'crystal meth' can trigger the psychosis, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the psychosis will end when the drug use stops. The use of crystal meth in someone who already has a psychotic disorder can make treatment less effective.
- mindcheck.ca
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 250
Hi Butterfly and welcome to SR, but I'm so very sorry for what has brought you here.
Kindeyes and Anvil have both given you good advice. I used to be with someone who was addicted to meth......if I hadn't seen with my own eyes how much he changed, I wouldn't have believed it. He went from being a caring, sensitive, joyful person to someone that became bitter, angry and twisted.
I, too, suffered through many disappearances and arguments with him. I'm so sorry you're going through this........I wouldn't wish this on anybody. For me, it got to the point where I no longer felt safe in my own home. As Anvil said, meth use can lead to psychosis and that can lead to dangerous situations.
I found that trying to talk or reason with him was pointless because he was incapable of being rational about anything, let alone our relationship. I was trying to be rational with someone that was irrational and that was driving me crazy.
It's good that you're getting help for yourself, that's a huge step. I understand that you really love him and want him to recover, but he has to want it too. One of the things that really helped me was taking a break from the relationship and keeping some distance from him. I was able to step away from the chaos and insanity and started to see things a bit more clearly.
First and foremost, please keep yourself safe. There is a lot of support on this site so I hope you'll continue posting. Sending you lots of hugs
Kindeyes and Anvil have both given you good advice. I used to be with someone who was addicted to meth......if I hadn't seen with my own eyes how much he changed, I wouldn't have believed it. He went from being a caring, sensitive, joyful person to someone that became bitter, angry and twisted.
I, too, suffered through many disappearances and arguments with him. I'm so sorry you're going through this........I wouldn't wish this on anybody. For me, it got to the point where I no longer felt safe in my own home. As Anvil said, meth use can lead to psychosis and that can lead to dangerous situations.
I found that trying to talk or reason with him was pointless because he was incapable of being rational about anything, let alone our relationship. I was trying to be rational with someone that was irrational and that was driving me crazy.
It's good that you're getting help for yourself, that's a huge step. I understand that you really love him and want him to recover, but he has to want it too. One of the things that really helped me was taking a break from the relationship and keeping some distance from him. I was able to step away from the chaos and insanity and started to see things a bit more clearly.
First and foremost, please keep yourself safe. There is a lot of support on this site so I hope you'll continue posting. Sending you lots of hugs
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 108
Butterfly, Oh my, this is a serious situation. As hard as it may be, you need to put distance between yourself and the addict. Loving someone and walking away will be a true test for you. But you can love them to death, by enabling. Find a meeting in your area and learn and listen. Read the posts on " what would you do differently. There you will find person after person saying the same thing, they wish they had detached sooner.
Take care and put YOU first. It is not selfish.
Take care and put YOU first. It is not selfish.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: NSW
Posts: 2
Thank you everyone for your replies it really means the world to me right now. It's so hard speaking to anyone I know about it because no one understands and think it's just easy to leave, but it's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. And I'm sorry to all of you who are going through simular with your partners or children. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.
Id like to also add that we do not live together the only reason I know he is dealing is because he had told me himself, we have always tried to be honest with eachother. He was comming down off the drug at the time he told me and wanted help, but as soon as he woke up the next day he was off again, and I haven't heard from him since. It's just so painful. I sent him one last text message yesterday basically telling him to get it together or I'm done and I am leaving it at that. I've stuck through his phases of psychosis, threats, violent attacks I've been through it all. Thinking my love could help him realise. But over the years I think I have finally come to see that the only way he may get the help he needs is by me leaving.
I'm going to a psychologist tomorrow and hoping I will be able to build enough strength and courage to build boundaries and stick with them. I pray in time everything works out for the better, and I pray for all your addicted loved ones as well.
Thank you once again for your kindness and support god bless
Id like to also add that we do not live together the only reason I know he is dealing is because he had told me himself, we have always tried to be honest with eachother. He was comming down off the drug at the time he told me and wanted help, but as soon as he woke up the next day he was off again, and I haven't heard from him since. It's just so painful. I sent him one last text message yesterday basically telling him to get it together or I'm done and I am leaving it at that. I've stuck through his phases of psychosis, threats, violent attacks I've been through it all. Thinking my love could help him realise. But over the years I think I have finally come to see that the only way he may get the help he needs is by me leaving.
I'm going to a psychologist tomorrow and hoping I will be able to build enough strength and courage to build boundaries and stick with them. I pray in time everything works out for the better, and I pray for all your addicted loved ones as well.
Thank you once again for your kindness and support god bless
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 39
My bf doc is meth. Same as other have responded great, loving, charismatic to flat out a living nightmare. Also the psychosis is dangerous for them and you, flat out a danger to themselves and anyone around them, love or not. They are in the most irrational type of mentality point blank. I had a gun pointed at me the week before Thanksgiving. He thought I had set him up, had people hiding in our home...the accusations got so unbelievably offensive to me as I'm loyal and my intergrity I pride myself on. So he was flat out pushing my buttons...meth is flat out the Devils drug. I witnessed and felt my entire home feel unsafe all in a matter of months. It's a progressive disease so it only gets worse and worse, until they go to treatment. My abf is at the end of his 2nd week at his inpatient rehab. He's in a 60 day inpatient and then 30-90 days outpatient. These two short weeks are already showing signs of my loving man back. Nowhere near ready/done but the light at end of the tunnel is there.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Hi Butterfly. I am so sorry that you are suffering. I have no experience of living with an addict but I want to ask you to think about something. You say you love your Partner, and I don't doubt that you think you do. But take a piece of paper and write down what he is giving/and what you are getting out of this Relationship? And if the paper is blank. Ask yourself if that is what you deserve.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,999
Hey all, so hope the treatment works with your addicted beloveds. My XAB, meth addicted, has probably been sober for 20 years now. He got sober via 3 years in jail. It can happen. Pray hard and stay the heck away until they are better.
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