Is this a problem?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 296
Is this a problem?
STBXAH has moved out. However, everyday he has come back and taken a couple of things while I'm at work. Most of his clothes are here.
I don't want to keep coming home and looking around to see what is missing/took to his house.
How long should this go on? He is still on the mortgage, but I doubt if he will pay it this month.
Suggestions?
I don't want to keep coming home and looking around to see what is missing/took to his house.
How long should this go on? He is still on the mortgage, but I doubt if he will pay it this month.
Suggestions?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
I think I remember that you are getting a divorce. Correct me if I am wrong. I would suggest when you can,, and do this asap, put all of his stuff, into those black garbage bags, pack for him, put them outside, as long as it is not raining.
What he is trying to do is to **** all over your boundaries, and trying to get to you or at you.
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
amy
What he is trying to do is to **** all over your boundaries, and trying to get to you or at you.
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
amy
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
First up, talk to your lawyer and find out what he/she can do. Follow his/her advice.
Change the locks if possible and OK with the lawyer, but make it clear that you're willing to hand over any of his personal items. Amy's suggestion of packing up his stuff is good.
Obviously if you want or need something, that will be open to negotiation.
Other thoughts - email him, lay out the situation as it stands, 'I notice you are entering the house while I'm out and taking items.... I want to make it clear that some items are joint property and I object to you taking them without discussing with me first.' Just to show him you do object so that a court can make adjustments in a future settlement.
Write down everything he's taking of any value or significance, along with the date.
Inventory and photograph everything of value in the house so you can prove you had it in the first place. Dig out receipts if you still have them.
Change the locks if possible and OK with the lawyer, but make it clear that you're willing to hand over any of his personal items. Amy's suggestion of packing up his stuff is good.
Obviously if you want or need something, that will be open to negotiation.
Other thoughts - email him, lay out the situation as it stands, 'I notice you are entering the house while I'm out and taking items.... I want to make it clear that some items are joint property and I object to you taking them without discussing with me first.' Just to show him you do object so that a court can make adjustments in a future settlement.
Write down everything he's taking of any value or significance, along with the date.
Inventory and photograph everything of value in the house so you can prove you had it in the first place. Dig out receipts if you still have them.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Yes, let your lawyer know what's going on. Ask your lawyer to file a motion for an order giving you exclusive temporary possession of the house, and prohibiting him from entering without permission, either from you or the court. The order can include something prohibiting both of you from disposing of any marital property. You absolutely have a right to privacy in your home, but as long as the house is joint property you will need an order to enforce it.
ETA: Given the fact that he's manipulating the kids, they may be helping him take stuff, too. The order should provide that he is to take all of his PERSONAL belongings by a certain date and that nothing else is to be removed from the house without your knowledge.
ETA: Given the fact that he's manipulating the kids, they may be helping him take stuff, too. The order should provide that he is to take all of his PERSONAL belongings by a certain date and that nothing else is to be removed from the house without your knowledge.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
cricket....can you begin taking detailed inventory and photos, as FeelingGreat recommended?
I think that packing his personal things would be a good idea, also.
Keep growing the thick rhino skin........
dandylion
I think that packing his personal things would be a good idea, also.
Keep growing the thick rhino skin........
dandylion
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 296
Ended up with a short shift
got home early.
I've taken pictures dozens of time of just about every thing. He was back again today dropping off the mower that HE decided to borrow.(at least I got it back)
Been emailing my lawyer back and forth. Very frustrating. Court date is soon, mediation is Friday and he is telling everyone he moved out for his own safety. Been saying this all along.
If I work 2 job and I an gone/sleeping when he is awake how can he feel threatened? Lol too funny. My therapist thinks he's delusional.
got home early. I've taken pictures dozens of time of just about every thing. He was back again today dropping off the mower that HE decided to borrow.(at least I got it back)
Been emailing my lawyer back and forth. Very frustrating. Court date is soon, mediation is Friday and he is telling everyone he moved out for his own safety. Been saying this all along.
If I work 2 job and I an gone/sleeping when he is awake how can he feel threatened? Lol too funny. My therapist thinks he's delusional.
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