Don't give up
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Don't give up
I just realized that yesterday I had 1000 days sober. I am not posting this for congratulations but for others who are struggling to see it can be done. I posted quite recently a fairly lengthy post which I won't bore you all with again 
I stopped using SR frequently some months ago, just checking in very occasionally. Until last month when I felt, whilst my life was good, I had some uncertainty and some issues. Last weekend I had a really bad weekend. Emotionally it was very difficult and I faced some difficult choices. At one point the thought crossed my mind that I wanted a drink. But it was a fleeting thought.
Early in sobriety the thoughts were frequent and difficult but I learned to deal with them ( SR, AVRT, changes of habit, urge surfing) Over time they do reduce but they do pop and up now and again,particularly in times of stress. I've learned that life is life, bad things happen, stress happens but it's how I deal with it that matters. I didn't drink and kept telling myself that the bad day would end, the thoughts would ease and I would work through my problems.
It worked. By Tuesday I felt a little better and now I feel much better. I have spoken to the person concerned and been honest with my feelings. We have talked through the situation and I accept that I can only deal with what I can deal with. What other people do and say is not my business and I have no control over it.
In my drinking days I would have got drunk, got angry, had built up resentment, lashed out verbally, made a fool of myself and then hated myself and still not solved anything. I know not everything can be solved but it can be lived with and have a return to peace of mind.
The most important thing I have now sober is serenity and peace of mind. I can deal with problems head on, as difficult as they are. I have also learned to take a step back and think before dealing with things.
I don't post much on Newcomers but do read. For those struggling it does get better, The intense thoughts you have one night of drinking will ease, just find whatever you need to get you through them - post and read on SR, AVRT,a meeting, urge surfing. That does get easier in time - the more you do it easier it gets.It may seem as though the feelings will never go but they do. It's also really important not to put yourself in situations where you will struggle. It is ok to say no to drinking invitations. Putting yourself and your sobriety first is not selfish - it is essential.
Happy Sober Saturday 
I stopped using SR frequently some months ago, just checking in very occasionally. Until last month when I felt, whilst my life was good, I had some uncertainty and some issues. Last weekend I had a really bad weekend. Emotionally it was very difficult and I faced some difficult choices. At one point the thought crossed my mind that I wanted a drink. But it was a fleeting thought.
Early in sobriety the thoughts were frequent and difficult but I learned to deal with them ( SR, AVRT, changes of habit, urge surfing) Over time they do reduce but they do pop and up now and again,particularly in times of stress. I've learned that life is life, bad things happen, stress happens but it's how I deal with it that matters. I didn't drink and kept telling myself that the bad day would end, the thoughts would ease and I would work through my problems.
It worked. By Tuesday I felt a little better and now I feel much better. I have spoken to the person concerned and been honest with my feelings. We have talked through the situation and I accept that I can only deal with what I can deal with. What other people do and say is not my business and I have no control over it.
In my drinking days I would have got drunk, got angry, had built up resentment, lashed out verbally, made a fool of myself and then hated myself and still not solved anything. I know not everything can be solved but it can be lived with and have a return to peace of mind.
The most important thing I have now sober is serenity and peace of mind. I can deal with problems head on, as difficult as they are. I have also learned to take a step back and think before dealing with things.
I don't post much on Newcomers but do read. For those struggling it does get better, The intense thoughts you have one night of drinking will ease, just find whatever you need to get you through them - post and read on SR, AVRT,a meeting, urge surfing. That does get easier in time - the more you do it easier it gets.It may seem as though the feelings will never go but they do. It's also really important not to put yourself in situations where you will struggle. It is ok to say no to drinking invitations. Putting yourself and your sobriety first is not selfish - it is essential.
Happy Sober Saturday
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: London
Posts: 60
Dear ReadyAtLast
Thank you for your post, and I will say congrats on your 1,000 days!
What you describe as how you dealt with problems whilst drinking is exactly the same as me, I am still in the place where I am going over everything many times a day and it helps to learn that it won't always be this way. I am still in the place where I would walk over hot coals not to have hurt the person that I did, and to know that mental freedom from that will come with time is a God send.
Thank you
K8
Thank you for your post, and I will say congrats on your 1,000 days!
What you describe as how you dealt with problems whilst drinking is exactly the same as me, I am still in the place where I am going over everything many times a day and it helps to learn that it won't always be this way. I am still in the place where I would walk over hot coals not to have hurt the person that I did, and to know that mental freedom from that will come with time is a God send.
Thank you
K8
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by K8Fazz 
Dear ReadyAtLast
Thank you for your post, and I will say congrats on your 1,000 days!
What you describe as how you dealt with problems whilst drinking is exactly the same as me, I am still in the place where I am going over everything many times a day and it helps to learn that it won't always be this way. I am still in the place where I would walk over hot coals not to have hurt the person that I did, and to know that mental freedom from that will come with time is a God send.
Thank you
K8
Thank you for your post, and I will say congrats on your 1,000 days!
What you describe as how you dealt with problems whilst drinking is exactly the same as me, I am still in the place where I am going over everything many times a day and it helps to learn that it won't always be this way. I am still in the place where I would walk over hot coals not to have hurt the person that I did, and to know that mental freedom from that will come with time is a God send.
Thank you
K8
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