Giving myself permission to drink
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Giving myself permission to drink
I did earlier for tonight, for a second...
Argh.
It's been nagging at me and tonight I am having people over at my house. Booze involved... I have to make it and I don't want to chance it so I'm posting. Right now I'm making dinner and my hands are sweating from thinking about it.
Help me snap out of it!!!!
I'm feeling weak. I forgot about work at noon and when my phone gave me the reminder I had already picked my child up from school. I tried to find a sitter but nothing so I had to bring her with me and leave her with someone while I did my thing. I know the woman as aquaintances and she calls me to hire me and I trust her... But still. I was nauseous from having left her there. It was in another floor of the building and I literally thought I was going to puke!bwhat if something (whatever) happened? I know I was a little irrational.
They were understanding and it was ok but still... I felt sick about it and at the end I found myself reverting to "man, I need a drink!!!". I felt drained and wanted that buzzed feeling.
I already feel better by posting, but that beer is coming...
I don't drink. They know it so no pressure there but I still want it...
Argh.
It's been nagging at me and tonight I am having people over at my house. Booze involved... I have to make it and I don't want to chance it so I'm posting. Right now I'm making dinner and my hands are sweating from thinking about it.
Help me snap out of it!!!!
I'm feeling weak. I forgot about work at noon and when my phone gave me the reminder I had already picked my child up from school. I tried to find a sitter but nothing so I had to bring her with me and leave her with someone while I did my thing. I know the woman as aquaintances and she calls me to hire me and I trust her... But still. I was nauseous from having left her there. It was in another floor of the building and I literally thought I was going to puke!bwhat if something (whatever) happened? I know I was a little irrational.
They were understanding and it was ok but still... I felt sick about it and at the end I found myself reverting to "man, I need a drink!!!". I felt drained and wanted that buzzed feeling.
I already feel better by posting, but that beer is coming...
I don't drink. They know it so no pressure there but I still want it...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
That's not irrational. That's called being a loving father who loves his daughter more than himself. It's a good thing. 
You know full well where that first drink will lead you to though, so you know full well not to pick it up. Do you really want to go down that black hole of misery again?
I'd say you're better off where you currently are, and sounds like you're being a great, attentive, loving father. You know as well as I do, you're not going to continue being that great dad if you pick up.
You know full well where that first drink will lead you to though, so you know full well not to pick it up. Do you really want to go down that black hole of misery again?
I'd say you're better off where you currently are, and sounds like you're being a great, attentive, loving father. You know as well as I do, you're not going to continue being that great dad if you pick up.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 277
Don't drink. Don't make the same mistakes I did by giving in to the urges every time, right up until the point where drink almost kills you. Make the choice now rather than having it made for you later. We're here to support you and we know you can do this. I'm glad you posted!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
You will not regret NOT drinking in the morning.
It is difficult but it is only a few hours to get through. Maybe look at not attending these events for now if they are really so difficult. Put yourself and your recovery first. It took me a long time before I could be around alcohol and it not affect me. There is nothing wrong with avoiding difficult situations - they won't be difficult forever but it is ok to say no or put people off.
If cancellation is not possible then break it down into hours, have a soft drink in your hand, eat and leave the room to come on SR whenever you need to.
You did well to post. do keep posting. You may have thoughts of drinking but you don't have to act on them
It is difficult but it is only a few hours to get through. Maybe look at not attending these events for now if they are really so difficult. Put yourself and your recovery first. It took me a long time before I could be around alcohol and it not affect me. There is nothing wrong with avoiding difficult situations - they won't be difficult forever but it is ok to say no or put people off.
If cancellation is not possible then break it down into hours, have a soft drink in your hand, eat and leave the room to come on SR whenever you need to.
You did well to post. do keep posting. You may have thoughts of drinking but you don't have to act on them
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Good job on posting Nowsthetime. You've got to dig deep, and don't give in. It's never worth the pain you will feel and the place it will take you back to.
I was right where you are at in July. I bought a bottle of whiskey and I had just past my 12 months sober anniversary.
Not sure why, but I had given myself a "pass" on drinking for the weekend.
Luckily a friend who was with me talked me out of it and I am SO happy he did. Everybody gets weak and needs some help in making it through the tough times.
You are strong enough to make it through tonight without drinking. Trust me, and you know this, you will be so much happier if you make it through and don't drink.
Stay strong, you can do this. Take as many breaks from your company as you can and post back here. We'll make it through with you.
I was right where you are at in July. I bought a bottle of whiskey and I had just past my 12 months sober anniversary.
Not sure why, but I had given myself a "pass" on drinking for the weekend.
Luckily a friend who was with me talked me out of it and I am SO happy he did. Everybody gets weak and needs some help in making it through the tough times.
You are strong enough to make it through tonight without drinking. Trust me, and you know this, you will be so much happier if you make it through and don't drink.
Stay strong, you can do this. Take as many breaks from your company as you can and post back here. We'll make it through with you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Everyone is gone. Hubby went out with them (Troy I'm a woman 😏
and kid already in bed. I made it through. It's so evident that I'm an alcoholic. My hubby put beer in the fridge so that they would cool faster but he forgot so they froze a little. When he brought them out to the table I couldn't stop obsessing over them until I finally finished pouring them in a glass from the bottle and they drank them. I just wanted them finished. There's some in the fridge now but that doesn't bother me... So, I made it through but it's not over.
I guess recovery is a pendulum too. My AV has been more active than ever. The vacations coming up are also starting to cause anxiety about drinking. I'm trying not to think about it yet. One day at a time, right?
and kid already in bed. I made it through. It's so evident that I'm an alcoholic. My hubby put beer in the fridge so that they would cool faster but he forgot so they froze a little. When he brought them out to the table I couldn't stop obsessing over them until I finally finished pouring them in a glass from the bottle and they drank them. I just wanted them finished. There's some in the fridge now but that doesn't bother me... So, I made it through but it's not over.I guess recovery is a pendulum too. My AV has been more active than ever. The vacations coming up are also starting to cause anxiety about drinking. I'm trying not to think about it yet. One day at a time, right?
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Might be time to take a break from situations involving alcohol, have you talked to your husband about your decision to be a non drinker? as his support might be good at this point!!
If alcohol is tough to be around at the moment then social events, vacations, and whatever else may need to take a backseat for the time being until you strengthen those Sober muscles a bit more!!
Don't compromise on your Sobriety for anyone or any situation!! You can do this!!
If alcohol is tough to be around at the moment then social events, vacations, and whatever else may need to take a backseat for the time being until you strengthen those Sober muscles a bit more!!
Don't compromise on your Sobriety for anyone or any situation!! You can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
I agree with Purpleknight. I was able to easily be around people drinking and stayed sober for 1.5 years til one night I joined in. It's that easy to lose sobriety. And honestly, I can't stand the nagging obsession! I steer clear of the drinking situations unless I have a non drinking friend with me to have good convo with.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
Yeah my brain was getting super restless earlier this evening. "What are you gonna do without alcohol? What are you gonna do without alcohol? What are you gonna do without alcohol" Over and over.
Another weird thing happened that I don't recall ever experiencing before: I started salivating at the thought of a glass of wine. So not only is there mental restlessness there's a physical component. Ugh.
I believe this will go away after a couple of weeks (or does it? does it ever stop?) so I'm just hoping to ride it out.
Another weird thing happened that I don't recall ever experiencing before: I started salivating at the thought of a glass of wine. So not only is there mental restlessness there's a physical component. Ugh.
I believe this will go away after a couple of weeks (or does it? does it ever stop?) so I'm just hoping to ride it out.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Think of every reasonable you shouldn't drink write a journal
Speak with your husband about this we have a no alcohol zone in our home say how hard your finding it and that if your home was alcohol free it would make things easier while your building sober muscles
Lean on us for support whenever you need
Speak with your husband about this we have a no alcohol zone in our home say how hard your finding it and that if your home was alcohol free it would make things easier while your building sober muscles
Lean on us for support whenever you need
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Thanks everyone. I have been able to be around it no problem but I think since I had that super anxiety episode that really triggered me. I felt nauseous and exhausted after. My husband has been more supportive, hasn't said much about it lately. It was a dinner in my house and we usually don't have booze in the house.
My sober muscles feel strong. Thanks for the support!!! I definitely stay away from boozing situations. Having the booze right there was trying. I was salivating for it. But it passes and I didn't drink and I am greatful to all of you for supporting me. I read responses during the dinner.
Truly: thank you!!!
My sober muscles feel strong. Thanks for the support!!! I definitely stay away from boozing situations. Having the booze right there was trying. I was salivating for it. But it passes and I didn't drink and I am greatful to all of you for supporting me. I read responses during the dinner.
Truly: thank you!!!
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Great job on not drinking w all those urges.
The AA Big Book, Bill.s Story, offers that Bill prayed for help to his higher power...what ever that is....God, Nature, Time..., in his case and many others, Dr.s testified that otherwise incurable, helpless alcoholics were cured of their insatiable desire to drink. The Dr.s have no explanation other than spiritual healing.
The BB suggests alcoholics are otherwise likely to fail at self controlled abstinence. Additionally, it says, alcoholics will fail every time when trying to moderate. They end up relapsing and go through worsening sufferage each time, except in the most rare cases.
That is how I remember reading it. Makes sense to me.
I'm not going to find out. No booze for this kid.
Forever. God help me.
The AA Big Book, Bill.s Story, offers that Bill prayed for help to his higher power...what ever that is....God, Nature, Time..., in his case and many others, Dr.s testified that otherwise incurable, helpless alcoholics were cured of their insatiable desire to drink. The Dr.s have no explanation other than spiritual healing.
The BB suggests alcoholics are otherwise likely to fail at self controlled abstinence. Additionally, it says, alcoholics will fail every time when trying to moderate. They end up relapsing and go through worsening sufferage each time, except in the most rare cases.
That is how I remember reading it. Makes sense to me.
I'm not going to find out. No booze for this kid.
Forever. God help me.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Nowsthetime 
Thanks everyone.
My sober muscles feel strong. But it passes and I didn't drink and I am greatful to all of you for supporting me. I read responses during the dinner.
Truly: thank you!!!
My sober muscles feel strong. But it passes and I didn't drink and I am greatful to all of you for supporting me. I read responses during the dinner.
Truly: thank you!!!
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