already worried about Friday night
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 180
already worried about Friday night
So as the title suggests I'm already worried the temptation to drink on Friday will overcome me. Today is day 3, I know I won't drink tonight due to tomorrow's work commitments but come Friday I will really struggle. I can't change my evening routine as such cos I have kid's so have to do pretty much the same as usual which is usually accompanied by wine.... any suggestions? ?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
It's never too early or too late to make a plan adelina...if nothing else have SR close for those times you feel your recovery is in danger.
Things will get easier the more you do them. Make this Friday the first of many
D
Things will get easier the more you do them. Make this Friday the first of many
D
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
There will be a weekender thread posted by Weasel/Ken a lil later on we all jump on for the weekend chat laugh help each other etc it's excellent
Itl be posted in newcomers its so good last weeks one is still going lol
Itl be posted in newcomers its so good last weeks one is still going lol
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
I understand. The fourth day was always a killer for me, too. And it's going to be Friday for you, too.
Why don't you spend the time with your kids?
I don't have any other suggestions to offer. Just want you to know you're not alone.
And the weekender thread, as suggested.
Best to you.
Why don't you spend the time with your kids?
I don't have any other suggestions to offer. Just want you to know you're not alone.
And the weekender thread, as suggested.
Best to you.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by adelina123 
I can't change my evening routine as such cos I have kid's so have to do pretty much the same as usual which is usually accompanied by wine.... any suggestions? ?
You have made a committment to quit. So you say no to temptation. You ignore the voice inside telling you, "This is so hard, I need to drink."
As Peacehappyness suggested, do something with the kids. Make desert and punch and have a party...without wine.
You can do this.
Pressure makes diamonds
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 521
Take the kids go the park, go for a walk, watch a movie, go walk around a mall, bake cookies with them, just don't take the first drink.
You CAN do this!! If you feel like you're struggling, jump on here and post. We will talk you through it!
You CAN do this!! If you feel like you're struggling, jump on here and post. We will talk you through it!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
for me, the best cure for worry is a plan.
worry is a sign that you're not feeling secure in your own choice, not feeling sure that you have a path to honor your own decision... or perhaps that you've not yet actually even MADE the decision.
Are you choosing sobriety?
Do you wish to honor your life by being fully present and take a sober path?
If the answer is yes - then all you need to do in order to dispell the worry is make a clear plan to honor that choice.
If the answer is no... or I'm not sure.... then you have work to do. Maybe start by reviewing all the reasons you feel sobriety may be a better choice for you, and all of the realities your choices to drink have brought you in your life.
worry is a sign that you're not feeling secure in your own choice, not feeling sure that you have a path to honor your own decision... or perhaps that you've not yet actually even MADE the decision.
Are you choosing sobriety?
Do you wish to honor your life by being fully present and take a sober path?
If the answer is yes - then all you need to do in order to dispell the worry is make a clear plan to honor that choice.
If the answer is no... or I'm not sure.... then you have work to do. Maybe start by reviewing all the reasons you feel sobriety may be a better choice for you, and all of the realities your choices to drink have brought you in your life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 49
I feel your pain. I'm on day 2 and I'm confident I won't drink tonight but for me Friday and Saturday are always the hardest. My suggestion is the same as others here. The times I have resisted the urge to drink on a Friday is to make plans (that I can't back out of) to do something with the kids. It doesn't hurt to have early morning plans for Saturday too just to be extra sure
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 630
Find some way to celebrate the weekend, your Friday night.
Buy yourself a treat of some sort.
Even if money is tight, it can be something small like a book, a movie, scented bubble bath, flowers......just something to make you feel good.
Sparkling fruit juice mixed with club soda served over ice, in a pretty glass with fresh lime is a good refresher!
If you are edgy and need help relaxing, sleepy time tea after the kids go to bed with fresh local honey helps.
My first alcohol free Fridays, I ordered food delivered, a treat I am normally too frugal to do....BUT I saved a ton of $$$ eliminating alcohol .....
The "what to do on Friday" feeling goes away sometime......didn't even notice. It is replaced by the "OH WOW I FEEL GREAT" on Saturday and Sunday mornings!
Good luck, and push your way through....it is so worth it!
Buy yourself a treat of some sort.
Even if money is tight, it can be something small like a book, a movie, scented bubble bath, flowers......just something to make you feel good.
Sparkling fruit juice mixed with club soda served over ice, in a pretty glass with fresh lime is a good refresher!
If you are edgy and need help relaxing, sleepy time tea after the kids go to bed with fresh local honey helps.
My first alcohol free Fridays, I ordered food delivered, a treat I am normally too frugal to do....BUT I saved a ton of $$$ eliminating alcohol .....
The "what to do on Friday" feeling goes away sometime......didn't even notice. It is replaced by the "OH WOW I FEEL GREAT" on Saturday and Sunday mornings!
Good luck, and push your way through....it is so worth it!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Way to go stringing some days together!
Can't agree more on a plan. Doesn't have to be elaborate. Simply think of all the things you CAN do and write them down. Every time you're thinking of what you can't do, make yourself think of something you CAN do. Keep doing that and soon enough you're mind will do it automatically.
Visualization is a huge help too. Take a few minutes tonight, tomorrow morning, and afternoon to visualize you being sober vs getting drunk. Visualize the next day and picture yourself on Monday being proud and happy for experiencing the weekend sober.
Our AV tends to completely take over our thoughts. Leaving us with fear, depression, anxiety. At first, you have to MAKE yourself ignore those thoughts and replace them with I CAN.
A great tool I found useful early on was journaling. My counselor made me fill 3 pages every morning. Just write down what ever comes to mind. Doesn't need to make sense. Don't need paragraphs. Just write. And don't stop till 3 pages are filled. Even if it's "I don't know what to write".
That process is like pulling the plug on a tub full of scummy dirty water. Your mind will be free of the stuff that is clogging it up and open to accept new, fresh, clean thoughts. Try it!
All you have to worry about is right now. You CAN do this, and you WILL be VERY HAPPY you did!!
Can't agree more on a plan. Doesn't have to be elaborate. Simply think of all the things you CAN do and write them down. Every time you're thinking of what you can't do, make yourself think of something you CAN do. Keep doing that and soon enough you're mind will do it automatically.
Visualization is a huge help too. Take a few minutes tonight, tomorrow morning, and afternoon to visualize you being sober vs getting drunk. Visualize the next day and picture yourself on Monday being proud and happy for experiencing the weekend sober.
Our AV tends to completely take over our thoughts. Leaving us with fear, depression, anxiety. At first, you have to MAKE yourself ignore those thoughts and replace them with I CAN.
A great tool I found useful early on was journaling. My counselor made me fill 3 pages every morning. Just write down what ever comes to mind. Doesn't need to make sense. Don't need paragraphs. Just write. And don't stop till 3 pages are filled. Even if it's "I don't know what to write".
That process is like pulling the plug on a tub full of scummy dirty water. Your mind will be free of the stuff that is clogging it up and open to accept new, fresh, clean thoughts. Try it!
All you have to worry about is right now. You CAN do this, and you WILL be VERY HAPPY you did!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Kids are are great way to get through those early first days. Get actively involved, but without wine.
I started reading to mine at bedtime. Talking to them without rushing them. Going for walks. Mini golf. Making popcorn and watching a movie. Sure, there were moments of "I want a drink." I just took several deep breaths and counted to ten and it passed.
I stayed close to SR. I reached out to people. I joined the weekend support thread that is now up and running. Above all, have faith you can do this. That no matter what, you won't drink.
I started reading to mine at bedtime. Talking to them without rushing them. Going for walks. Mini golf. Making popcorn and watching a movie. Sure, there were moments of "I want a drink." I just took several deep breaths and counted to ten and it passed.
I stayed close to SR. I reached out to people. I joined the weekend support thread that is now up and running. Above all, have faith you can do this. That no matter what, you won't drink.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 33
Fridays are my biggest hurdle, as well. I used to have a "ritual." I would have some cocktails, listen to music, watch my favorite Friday night political show, then veg out to YouTube and Netflix the rest of the night. Cocktail after cocktail throughout.
It's still hard to resist, but eventually there's a "hump" at about 8 or 9p that once I get over, I can be sure I won't drink the rest of the night.
You are not alone. Just know that once you make it to bed without drinking, knowing you won't wake up hung over the next day, it's a REALLY great feeling.
It's still hard to resist, but eventually there's a "hump" at about 8 or 9p that once I get over, I can be sure I won't drink the rest of the night.
You are not alone. Just know that once you make it to bed without drinking, knowing you won't wake up hung over the next day, it's a REALLY great feeling.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,031
Originally Posted by Peacehappyness
Hi is there anything you can take the kids out to, like the movies or perhaps swimming in the early evening? Maybe visiting people with other kids etc?. It's hard when you are restricted but if you can have something planned out to do (anything really) it can make big difference.
Peace X
Peace X
I have not been drinking this month, and in the past few years have found myself able to maintain sobriety for stretches, and then would give in again.
I know it isn't easy, and goodness knows I have failed many times in the past, but reading on this site is proof it can be done.
I know you can do it!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
I agree with everyone: plan, plan, plan.
You might think that the kids don't know but they always do. It always smells...
Do something with them. I love the idea of reading at bedtime. It is one of the biggest gifts you can give your child. Do not rush it, get into it and have fun.
Think of the mommy and person you want to be. It's going to be hard but you know it and you are preparing yourself. Come and hang here too. That really helped me in the beginning.
Remember we are always with you.
You might think that the kids don't know but they always do. It always smells...
Do something with them. I love the idea of reading at bedtime. It is one of the biggest gifts you can give your child. Do not rush it, get into it and have fun.
Think of the mommy and person you want to be. It's going to be hard but you know it and you are preparing yourself. Come and hang here too. That really helped me in the beginning.
Remember we are always with you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
I can't change my evening routine as such cos I have kid's
isn't that one of the BEST reasons to NOT drink? would you leave your kids with a babysitter that you KNEW would drink while watching them?
sobriety is about changing our mindset. it's about giving up notions like "well it IS Friday so I MUST drink" or " well it's just me and the CHILDREN, so who will know?"
make the commitment NOW that you will not drink under any circumstances NO MATTER WHAT.
isn't that one of the BEST reasons to NOT drink? would you leave your kids with a babysitter that you KNEW would drink while watching them?
sobriety is about changing our mindset. it's about giving up notions like "well it IS Friday so I MUST drink" or " well it's just me and the CHILDREN, so who will know?"
make the commitment NOW that you will not drink under any circumstances NO MATTER WHAT.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Nowsthetime
I agree with everyone: plan, plan, plan.
You might think that the kids don't know but they always do. It always smells...
Do something with them. I love the idea of reading at bedtime. It is one of the biggest gifts you can give your child. Do not rush it, get into it and have fun.
Think of the mommy and person you want to be. It's going to be hard but you know it and you are preparing yourself. Come and hang here too. That really helped me in the beginning.
Remember we are always with you.
You might think that the kids don't know but they always do. It always smells...
Do something with them. I love the idea of reading at bedtime. It is one of the biggest gifts you can give your child. Do not rush it, get into it and have fun.
Think of the mommy and person you want to be. It's going to be hard but you know it and you are preparing yourself. Come and hang here too. That really helped me in the beginning.
Remember we are always with you.
The kids know....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9xQcHnMsQg
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
You won't be alone. It'll be my first Friday too.
Usually I'd be cooking and drinking, emphasis on drinking. Last night I tried to cook without drinking and made rookie mistakes I haven't made in years, including burning my hand and burning the rice, twice. Shouldn't it be easier sober?
Anyway I need to figure out how to keep myself occupied, make a plan.
Usually I'd be cooking and drinking, emphasis on drinking. Last night I tried to cook without drinking and made rookie mistakes I haven't made in years, including burning my hand and burning the rice, twice. Shouldn't it be easier sober?
Anyway I need to figure out how to keep myself occupied, make a plan.
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