peanut44

To everyone who posted such good ideas. I don't know how to thank you enough.

I really am trying to not be depressed but some days, it's just so hard. Today was one of those days. I definitely think to much. All day I thought about how I'm unhappy and I'm so sick of trying to figure out what's wrong with me? Maybe it's not all me. Could my husband have something to do with it? We have drifted apart but I don't think it's all my fault.

Then my next thought is, "why are you doing this to yourself? I don't have to solve everything right now". It's only been 37 days for Pete's sake! I really am my own worst enemy.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Soberwolf

Upwardspiral

You really don't have to solve everything right now. I've relapsed in the past after wearing myself down with trying to fix every thing in a hurry and being disappointed with the results.
Check out this book. The Mindful Way Through Depression.
It talks about that mental hamster wheel of trying to think your way out of bad feeling and offers some techniques to break the thought cycles that keep us miserable.

MythOfSisyphus

As Upward says, you don't need to figure it out all at once. Baby steps!

PurpleKnight

Day 37 is fantastic!! You're doing great!!

peanut44

You're definitely right, no need to tackle everything all at once.
The bs at my husbands work goes on still. I'm in disbelief about it really. Sometimes i cope with it better than other times. This sounds silly but i used to get the same anxiety about waiting for prescriptions to be called in or whether or not they would be okayed.
A major trigger that is happening daily.

I'm at work and being productive as i can. I'm feeling ok and I'm sleeping alright.

Checking in!

JK130

Thanks for checking in and that you are doing ok. Dealing with anxiety is no fun.

Got anything fun planned for afterwork?

peanut44

Not really. I have a 45 minute commute so i don't get home until about 7 pm. Usually have a little bite to eat and then bed soon after. I do a lot of reading and recovery stuff when i get home. I have 4 kitties, so we play with them too.

sleepie

Hi peanut, way to go on your sober time! I know it's hard and things will seem so intimidating at first, I'm feeling a bit that way too.
Let's just keep going and see what happens?

peanut44

That I can and will do sleepie!

Ruby2

Peanut, good job on the sober time. The hamster wheel does get less active the longer you go. Mine still acts up but it gets easier to deal with. Time is your friend. Rushing for instant results is what got me into trouble in the first place so I've had to slow it down. Hugs