Lionhearted1

Over the last 6 months I have totally stopped caring about being sober, it's really worrying as its like I have just given up and excepted my fate that Iam a heavy drinker who likes to get black out drunk once a week.

Has anyone else gone from being really focused on recovery to just giving up not caring any more I think it could be because nothing bad has happened for a long while...

Thanks all

Bird615

I think after a while the novelty wears off in addition to getting worn out. It's very hard work staying sober day after day. I think it contributed to me relapsing again after I came here.

Going back to my recovery group and attending meetings again made the difference for me this time.

Carver

Personally, no, but then I'm only two months in.

Have you ever had problems with depression? Cos that I have lots of experience with.

MIRecovery

I was that way until alcohol almost killed me and I decided I rather live than die

Berrybean

I was that way while I was drinking. Since being sober, even when depressed I haven't wanted to go back. Die possibly, but not go back. Since I started working on my recovery properly, even those feelings have subsided.

Personally, I think it's very possibly your AV telling you this stuff, rather than it being your own thinking. Hope you manage to ignore it. (I've already had to send mine to the naughty-step this morning for trying to use fear on me, the little scallywag!)

doggonecarl

I knew someone like that. His drinking killed him.

IOAA2

Hi.
I would go to my doctor and have a thorough examination and follow directions on reversal of this unhealthy feeling, it can end in a very miserable and painful way.

“I think it could be because nothing bad has happened for a long while...”

YET = Your Eligible To.

BE WELL

Marcher13

Lionhearted, have you stopped caring or is your AV playing a number on you?

Soberwolf

Do you want to drink Yes or No ?

Berrybean

If you haven't already done it, could you take some time to read through your past threads. There's some good stuff in there you know - it might rekindle your passion for recovery. (Either that or make you want fish and chips - but that'd be no bad thing either).

What do you do to maintain your sobriety? If you go to AA, maybe you could do a share somewhere? That is often very good for reminding us where we came from, what we were like, and what we are like now. Sometimes we need to take a close look at what we have so we hold on to it harder.

SoberJohn

Many times for me attempts at recovery were exhausting and frustrating both physically and mentally and I would tell myself to take a break or rather my AV was telling me to take a break and come back when I was energized to do so. So I can understand what you are talking about however always make sure that you tell yourself that you must come back to try again. Never give up.

LBrain

If ever I find myself tempted to drink, I remind myself why I quit drinking in the first place. Then I remind myself that I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to quit when I did.
And then I tell myself, I will never drink again and never change my mind.

To me now, not drinking alcohol is akin to someone who is allergic to shellfish having to be ever diligent to not let that poison slip past my lips.

It is a fact of life for me.

aasharon90

As long as I kept poison flowing thru my
veins, my entire body from head to toe,
affecting my thoughts, actions, mind, body
and soul, then I couldn't and wouldn't even
think it was possible to live life sober.

All that poison held me hostage. It kept
me bound by its claws, a beast wrapped
around me not allowing me move, think,
freely. Its grips on me held me down and
I fought tooth and nail to get rid of it, to
free myself from it.

It wasn't until I entered recovery via
rehab for 28 days 25 yrs ago that I was
able to allow the poison to exit my body
and allow the for the fog to clear and
receive the knowledge of my addiction
and be taught about it and its affects on
my own mind, body and soul.

The seed of that knowledge was planted
inside me and it was up to me to feed it
each and everyday with proper tools and
information to keep it growing healthy
and strong.

If I didn't then it would die. I would die.

It has taken daily maintanence to keep
my mind body and soul fertilized to continue
growing healthy, strong and thriving, just
like a plant, thru all types of lifes changes,
weather changes.

And believe me, this little plant has
been thru many changes for the past
25 yrs. However, today it stands pretty,
healthy, strong in all its roots because
of the love and care Ive provided for it.

When it begins to wilt then its time to
step up and feed it with a more up to
date fertilizer, fresher soil, a new pot
or in a better place in the yrd to flourish
with shade and away from the harsh elements.

I cant leave my plant alone without
help and new knowledge to help it
to continue on producing pretty, vibrant
flowers that bring me so much joy
each day it stays alive.

Don't give up on that little recovery
seed because it needs your help to
get it going to grow and mature into
a healthy, happy plant to enjoy life for
many yrs down the road.

This is just one of many analogies to
describe my own recovery. Find one that
works for you and helps you learn to remain
sober or clean one day at a time.

Ruby2

I have felt the way you have and it's an uncomfortable place to be in. It's at that point that I know something is wrong and I need to increase my efforts.

I've had to remind myself how bad it truly was when I was drinking. The bad memories don't seem so bad after a while. I need to take care of myself so that I'm rested and fed. But above all, I have to do what Brain said, and that's don't drink no matter what.

Change something up in your recovery, perhaps. Reach out more, here, and in real life. Hang on.

Alynn

I got to that place at 6 months. It's misery on the other side if you choose to drink like I did! Try meetings, a support group, sponsor..., just don't give in!!! It's not fun anymore just miserable

zjw

staying sober takes work no doubt. and on one hand it would be easier to not put forth that effort and just say screw it and drink. But the biproduct (problems it causes) of that would not be easier for me. The effort of living sober while harder has a biproduct (lifes better things are easier) that is easier for me. I can spend a couple hours a day exercising and feel good the rest of the hours or i can spend a couple hours a day drinking and feel like trash the rest of the hours. I'd rather take the pain in just a couple hours of exercise then 20 something of garbage after i drank.

But in the end of my drinking days. I quit trying to ration my intake or obey my rules. LIke you i hit a point where I simply did not care. I became very unhinged and thats when my drinking went to a whole new level and I started having all sorts of problems. I really embraced my habit. it felt so great at first it was a relief to finally not give a damn any longer. But it came back to haunt me.

soberclover

Hmmmm....been in this place. It sucks. But what I learned about myself is that something was going on and I just needed to get myself in to the right headspace to figure it out. My relapse led me to the intensive care unit and I have lingering issues. For me and for many here, continuing to drink would be a death wish.

I hope you can find the light again.

ScottFromWI

My guess is that you haven't really "given up" but you either aren't working your recovery program or you don't have one. If you had truly given up, you wouldn't be here posting on a sobriety message board about it, right?

ccam1973

Yep, I was in that place for about a year. My drinking turned into an around the clock event... and I convinced myself that I was fine. Deep down, though, I knew I was getting closer and closer to dying each day. I also knew that my kids didn't deserve to be fatherless because of the selfish and weak decisions I was making.

Lionhearted, I don't think you have given up or really don't care. You might be in a place where sobriety seems far away, but it is never impossible. Trust me, it is worth every ounce of energy you put in to being and staying sober.

It took me sitting down and realizing that NOTHING good comes from my drinking. I am not the person I know I can be when I am drunk. After having some sober time under my belt, I know it's true and I'm never going back.

Life passes us by in an instant. I for one am going to do everything in my power to enjoy the time I have left and I can't enjoy anything through the deception and darkness of alcohol. I wasted 21 years and I'm not wasting another minute.

Lionheart, you know you have it in you to change this pattern. We are all behind you.

Be well.

FreeOwl

I was pretty full on serious about it for 5 months at one point. Then, I started caring less and convincing myself I'd just needed a break. I wasn't really an alcoholic. I just drank too much too often. Just needed to dial it back.

So I started drinking again.

Until a year and a half later when I'd been in a drunken haze for the better part of that year and a half.... blackouts more often than not.... shame and regret and anxiety and misery.

Now I'm coming closer every day to two years sober and I'm much much happier with my life. It was hard work for a year, but now it really isn't. It's just how I live, and it is SO much better.