JerryFish

I posted drunk last time and had given up. But the therapy and anti-depressants do seem to have some effect since I didn't continue drinking for days as I usually would.

It's time to get back up an on. I'm going to family again, probably for a longer period of time this time.

Thanks for the support and I'll be back. 3 weeks at family wasn't enough and I need more work done on myself. Hopefully next time I come back a lot better.

Tooshabby

Good for you, Jerry. Don't give up the fight. We all support you 100%

xxxx

Mags1

All the best, Jerry. We're here 24/7 for support.

Berrybean

Hi Jerry - I know people who learned from their slips and this knowledge made them stronger. I hope this will happen for you.

You say you need 'more work done on myself'. What's the plan for this? Are you going to any support groups at all? If not it might be worth a try - you have nothing to lose from it.

Good luck with the next phase of your recovery

Dee74

I'm glad you didn't continue Jerry.

Going back to the family is a good way to get sober again - but I really urge you to think about how you're going to stay sober - you can't stay with your family forever.

Think about the future and the things you might do as a recovery plan when you come back to your own home.

D

Saskia

Jerry, I'm glad you stopped! Looking forward to your progress.

JerryFish

It's true that I need a plan for when I come back home. It's one big reminder of alcohol and I need to clear that out.

This is something I will discuss with my therapist. Lesson learned, time to work on what I discovered.

JerryFish

Hi Beccy. I've been seeing a therapist for a few weeks now and have started anti-depressants to make the therapy easier.

Soberwolf

Having a plan is Vital Jerryfish

ItWillBeWorthIt

Very happy to see your post this morning Jerry... and that you are taking action on making this Day 1.

Sometimes, Anti-depressants take awhile to take effect... glad to hear you are going to discuss your recovery with your therapist. Maybe he/she will see you more frequently.

Think about taking some recovery reading material with you to your parents to learn more about the disease and what steps you can take to make sobriety stick this time.

Wishing you the very best Jerry!

JerryFish

This disease is ridiculous. I've called it many things. Terrible. Horrible. It takes your life away. All true.

But just now I saw how ridiculous it is.

No day 1 for me today. My family is on their way to pick me up and will be here in 15 minutes.

So what did I do in the short period between my first post and now? Rushed out of the door. Unshaven. Unwashed. Clothes on that belong in the laundry. Rushed to the store, got a six-pack and drank it as fast as I could, just to get that buzz before I can't anymore.

It actually had me laughing about loud just now. Just at how stupid and ridiculous it is. You know, the type of laughing that is actually based on the accumulation of misery. It's just so ridiculous.

Anyway, I'm pretty buzzed right now. That was a lot of beer in a very short period of time. And now I want more. But can't and that feels horrible.

So, about 10 more minutes. Once I get in that car I'm driving away from it for good.

ItWillBeWorthIt

Happy to hear your parents will be there right away Jerry. Take care and post when you can or when you get back. Sending hugs.

PurpleKnight

Great to hear Jerry!! Never give up!!

Ruby2

Jerry, I understand why you drank that 6 pack and am sorry. It makes me sad, actually, because I was like that. Sobriety is a process and takes time. Staying with family is a good idea at first but I had to do a lot of work during the time I did that. They love you but they can't keep you sober. It's not their job. Maybe look in to outpatient treatment, AA or some other recovery support group. But first comes acceptance. Be well. Stay close.

Soberween

I think your rigorous honesty is going to get you to where you want to be. It's really great that you own up to your mistakes and it's such a positive that you didn't turn your lapse into a major bender. I love the acronym S.L.I.P. (Sobriety Loses It's Priority). Sobriety has to be your number one priority over everything else. Simple as that.

Soberwolf

Wishing you the best Jerry I can guarantee your better off sober than drunk & were going to here whenever you need 24/7 bud

JerryFish

This is terrible. And beyond coincidence.

They were on their way when one of them had a ******* heart attack. The 2nd or 3th one, it's sad that I don't even know. I was wasted through all of them.

I've been to the hospital. They're going to be fine. The next few weeks are a risky period.

I've been getting wasted in the meantime. I don't know when we travel back.

This just isn't funny anymore.

JerryFish

You know, I had just gotten to accepting a higher power. Not that that's part of my therapy. But apparently this higher power doesn't want me to get sober. It wants me to drink, be miserable and die.

hopeful4

I believe your higher power gives YOU free will to make decisions for yourself. Be those good decisions, or bad ones.

You can decide, right now, this second, to reach for sobriety. You can also continue to drink and go down the road to ruin. It's your decision. Your parents cannot keep you sober, or anyone else.

The good news is, no one has to do it alone. There are meetings, here at SR is a great place of support, all sorts of options. Do it. Reach out to sobriety and know you can do this if you set your mind to it.

I hope all goes well for your parents also. So sorry to hear of this news.

Good luck and God Bless!

ccam1973

Jerryfish, sorry to hear about the heart attack, but glad they are ok.

You've got to give yourself some credit and dig deep to stop this cycle. You are strong enough to get yourself better. But you've got to decide to do it for you.

I know you realize that drinking is only making your life worse. You have the power to stop right now. Change is in your hands.

We are in your corner.