Isolation - A Trip to The Edge
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Isolation - A Trip to The Edge
Hey SR,
As many of you will know from previous posts, I got a promotion at work, and as good as that sounds it lead to what has now been 6 weeks of training in England.
In 6 weeks I’ve seen 10 airports, 10 security checkpoints, 10 safety demonstrations, at least 20 hours passing the time sitting in those airports, 30 hours of traveling to and from those airports, 5 different cities to navigate and the inside of various trains, buses, taxis.
Isolation I consider to be one of the biggest dangers to those in early Sobriety, but I used to equate it to sitting on my own with my own thoughts, probably in front of my TV on my sofa, but I’ve now reconsidered my viewpoint, I’ve learnt that it can be soo much more.
Isolation can mean being surrounded by people who are strangers day in and day out, when the only human interaction you’re involved in is the odd hello, the holding of a hotel room door open, the helping out of an elderly lady lifting her luggage off the baggage reclaim, the 2min conversation with the girl serving your coffee at Starbucks, or that extra question or smile at the hotel reception, on the outside you can be friendly, polite, chatty, but on the inside still be soo very alone.
Human connection is much more than being around people, it’s more than social nods, being courteous, talking to strangers, it’s about meaningful connections with people, something that can be difficult by merely floating through life, going car to airport to hotel to airport to car, activity after activity according to a schedule can be a very distant existence. I was in London the other week for 3 nights, surrounded by 10 million people and it felt like the loneliest place on earth.
I’ll not lie and say it was easy, if there was ever a time that my warning lights were flashing was over the last 6 weeks, “wouldn’t a drink make it alright?”, “just the one won’t do any harm”, “it’s alright, after all this time Sober, you can control it this time” . . . and that’s how it starts.
In isolation without any second opinion, I bang on about it all the time in replies to threads on SR, but I’m never making it up, whether your Sober muscles kick in after building them up over time, or you reach out and get some real support, those are your two options, thankfully at this stage of the game I have both in my toolbox.
I’ve always been quite comfortable being on my own, I live on my own, no wife or kids, I travel to work in my car on my own, keep myself to myself at work, and really only socialise at the weekends, but I guess the one thing I’ve learnt is that those connections that I do have during the week are very important, that’s what I was missing and the illusion that at least I was amongst people at all times was false, the human spirit needs other people, not just acquaintances, but real genuine connections.
I may not have posted much over the last few weeks, but I have certainly been keeping up to date with reading the daily threads, anyone knowing they may need some reinforcements download the SR app onto your phone, or save SR in your favourites, I like the saying “Fail to plan, Plan to fail”
Take it from me, sitting in an airport on your 3rd consecutive Sunday afternoon when you need some extra encouragement, SR is a tool that we all need in our back pockets.
Team SR for the win!!
As many of you will know from previous posts, I got a promotion at work, and as good as that sounds it lead to what has now been 6 weeks of training in England.
In 6 weeks I’ve seen 10 airports, 10 security checkpoints, 10 safety demonstrations, at least 20 hours passing the time sitting in those airports, 30 hours of traveling to and from those airports, 5 different cities to navigate and the inside of various trains, buses, taxis.
Isolation I consider to be one of the biggest dangers to those in early Sobriety, but I used to equate it to sitting on my own with my own thoughts, probably in front of my TV on my sofa, but I’ve now reconsidered my viewpoint, I’ve learnt that it can be soo much more.
Isolation can mean being surrounded by people who are strangers day in and day out, when the only human interaction you’re involved in is the odd hello, the holding of a hotel room door open, the helping out of an elderly lady lifting her luggage off the baggage reclaim, the 2min conversation with the girl serving your coffee at Starbucks, or that extra question or smile at the hotel reception, on the outside you can be friendly, polite, chatty, but on the inside still be soo very alone.
Human connection is much more than being around people, it’s more than social nods, being courteous, talking to strangers, it’s about meaningful connections with people, something that can be difficult by merely floating through life, going car to airport to hotel to airport to car, activity after activity according to a schedule can be a very distant existence. I was in London the other week for 3 nights, surrounded by 10 million people and it felt like the loneliest place on earth.
I’ll not lie and say it was easy, if there was ever a time that my warning lights were flashing was over the last 6 weeks, “wouldn’t a drink make it alright?”, “just the one won’t do any harm”, “it’s alright, after all this time Sober, you can control it this time” . . . and that’s how it starts.
In isolation without any second opinion, I bang on about it all the time in replies to threads on SR, but I’m never making it up, whether your Sober muscles kick in after building them up over time, or you reach out and get some real support, those are your two options, thankfully at this stage of the game I have both in my toolbox.
I’ve always been quite comfortable being on my own, I live on my own, no wife or kids, I travel to work in my car on my own, keep myself to myself at work, and really only socialise at the weekends, but I guess the one thing I’ve learnt is that those connections that I do have during the week are very important, that’s what I was missing and the illusion that at least I was amongst people at all times was false, the human spirit needs other people, not just acquaintances, but real genuine connections.
I may not have posted much over the last few weeks, but I have certainly been keeping up to date with reading the daily threads, anyone knowing they may need some reinforcements download the SR app onto your phone, or save SR in your favourites, I like the saying “Fail to plan, Plan to fail”
Take it from me, sitting in an airport on your 3rd consecutive Sunday afternoon when you need some extra encouragement, SR is a tool that we all need in our back pockets.
Team SR for the win!!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
Alone at night in a hotel room, while out of town on business was a dangerous time for me.
One of the things that worked for me was planning plenty of alternatives for my nights, dinner, a movie, shopping, working out and best of all, attending an AA meeting in a different part of the country.
One of the things that worked for me was planning plenty of alternatives for my nights, dinner, a movie, shopping, working out and best of all, attending an AA meeting in a different part of the country.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,697
Well said purpleknight. Right now i am on Day 6 in the hotel with another 2 more weeks to go. Taking walks outside. Reading books and catching up on shows. All alone is dangerous for me. Being lonley is ok. Being drunk and lonley is terrible. I am so grateful this hotel doesnt have free booze. I have never said that before lol
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
PK... I can totally relate. I used to fly to Houston every Sunday evening and spend the week in a hotel (working on a project) and fly home on Friday eve. I was in a beautiful hotel, but it was so damn lonely! Co-workers were in the same boat, so we commiserated, but still. Good luck with the new position. Will you have to travel all the time??
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 524
Thank you for the post pk. I can relate to the feeling of isolation in which you are surrounded by lots of people but without that genuine connection with any of them it's exactly the same as sitting on that couch by yourself with netflix. Making connections with at least a few people is essential. Without that we're like boats without anchors. Glad you/we all have something like SR when it gets tough.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
PK, It is a great post...I understand the isolation in a room full of people I feel it all the time with work.
I am not AA and don't know if you are. In the beginning I attended a few meetings that were in the heart of the city...
I listened to a few people speak who were travelling from all over the world and all over the country for work...
They said they loved the connection with like minded people and the break from the isolation...Take care.
I am not AA and don't know if you are. In the beginning I attended a few meetings that were in the heart of the city...
I listened to a few people speak who were travelling from all over the world and all over the country for work...
They said they loved the connection with like minded people and the break from the isolation...Take care.
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