Liveitwell

Well folks, there absolutely is life after an alcoholic....over the last year I've lived more and done more and gotten out there more than I did in my marriage....last night I took the girls to their first Friday night lights experience - and if you know Texas football, you know what I'm talking about. We had a blast...first game of the season and I'm looking forward to many more. As we were sitting there I had a wave of sadness wash over me-I wished my ex (as he was, not is) was there. So many times I asked him-hey, let's go to the game..I mean, I figured he would want to go bc he was mr football in this town and was a star of the team back in highschool. I was always met with, "no, I don't want to go-I'd rather just sit here at home and listen to the game in the garage". (Translated-I'd rather sit at home and drink by myself). I can't tell you the thousands of times that excuse was used. Life, his life, his family's life, just passed him by as he no longer desired to do anything-just sit at home and drink. Sad.

Update on him? Still an alcoholic, still lying, still making promises he can't or won't keep, pretty obvious he's using his breathalyzer around his drinking-just trying to game the system and not get caught.....so, pretty much par for the course for an alcoholic. My friend spoke with him the other night and called me later saying, um, I think he's lost the ability to tell the truth-he is so sick. She said that with empathy, not disgust. Yep-he is.

Glad God got us out. I miss a million things about him BUT Thankful for that every day. Peace to y'all!

Refiner

Forourgirls you sound awesome! As for him... meh. That Friday Night Lights game outing thing sounds like such a fun outing for you and the girls. So glad you're getting out there and doing life! You'll meet so many like-minded people as you along the way and have entered an exciting new chapter - I'm so happy for you!

D122y

Glad you all got out and had some fun.

You deserve it. We go out a few times a month and have yet to see a football game here in town. We are show and dinner people. Vegas and all.

Your ex hasn't hit his bottom yet. I hit mine. Very lucky.

My wife seems happier. She has her own issues though (not drinking).

I usually wasn't a confrontational drunk, and she let me be...usually.

Hang in there.

Lilro

Good for you Four!! So glad to read your positive posts!! Keep on keeping on...
Ro

Timetoheal12

I'm glad to hear that you're doing fine, Forourgirls.
Even though I didn't got married to exabf, I can relate to the feeling of wanting to feel protected and accompanied by him. It always made me sad to see that he really only cared about himself and his dear beloved beer cans.

You deserve to be 100% happy, and you're getting there as each day passes by.
Hugs!

Liveitwell

D122y-that was my problem, one of my many issues, for a long time: I felt I needed to confront him with evidence I knew he was lying, drinking, you name it. That just caused more problems and confrontations. I learned over the last few years to not do that (I failed many times but overall did okay).

Funny thing this morning...went to a neighbors birthday party for her two year old. It was around noon and I was getting a water out if the cooler...other neighbor walks up and says something like "oh thank God there's no beer in there-the last kids party I went to all the parents were drinking-what a bunch of f'ing alcoholics. How tacky can you be!". I just said, "yep". In my mind I was thinking...yes, I used to be that person, too...and welcome to life with my ex and his family. Which of course is why he's the ex. Blessed beyond measure to be sober and looking forward to many more Friday night lights, parties, and life with the girls.

Thank you all for your responses and support!

NYCDoglvr

You are a real inspiration and I thank you on posting about how good life can be sans active alcoholic. You go, girl!

Liveitwell

^^ thank you!! It truly is!!

hexx

It really is amazing how much life is out there that we miss sometimes. This gives me hope that things will continue to get better.

Liveitwell

Hexx-it will...for you and your kiddo! Just keep your eyes wide open. And reread that book as much as possible to remind yourself of who he is. You will be just fine....you will thrive! It's possible!

hexx

Thanks Four--I try several times a week to do things with the kids that he wouldn't let us do (either via passive means or just outright saying no). It really is liberating when you get to live your own life. Both of my children are doing so much better now that he is not around. That is my motivation to stay the course. My DD told me a few weeks ago that "I am so much more fun now that I am single woman" And my son has been an amazing source of strength.