TNTStill

Today was a whatever day, nothing special.

However, I just was reflecting on the past a bit and looking back I do know I why I drank...and in that same breathe I don't know why.

Not going to type a long drawn out post.

Just wanted to make that general point to help anyone that is looking to analyze why there are drinking, like really sit back and think, "Why is it that I feel the need to have a drink knowing that there is a good chance I'll regret it in more ways than one?"

Hope everyone is making strides in a positive direction on their road to recovery. Even if it is Day 1, a start proves that there is a desire " to some degree" to continue.

Tomorrow will be the start of my Day 74.

Prayers to you all and take care.

kgr

We're right there together. Day 78 for me... Feels awesome and I relate to your post completely. Congrats and keep up the great work!!

Dee74

I had lots of underlying reasons why I started to drink - unhappiness, wanting to escape, social anxiety, pain relief - but I kept drinking because I became an alcoholic.

I know some like to speculate on the whys and wherefores and, really, that's fine - but I really don't think it needs to be more complicated than that...I drank because I become addicted.

D

Ruby2

Ditto what Dee said. I drank because I became addicted. I can wonder why, all day long and still not have an answer. It doesn't matter anymore because I can't change back to a time before I was an alcoholic. All I have are the choices I make today.

I'm glad you're choosing sobriety today. Congratulations on 74 days

getright15

I drank just because I wanted to drink. My goal is to make sure I keep saying that in the past tense! Sure I have depression and anxiety, but those were just other excuses to drink about the issues I have. Hmm....alcohol is a depressant but I drank and it just added to it. Withdrawal from alcohol causes anxiety but I still drank anyways....I think there might be a reason why I had increased depression and anxiety! Alcohol is no friend of mine as I've learned the hard way. I'm choosing to go to treatment as I'm making the conscience choice to not drink anymore.

D122y

Congrats. The big day 110 for me.

Gets better. Dealing with PAWS. Long story.

Great article here for us fans of sobriety.

How to Quit Drinking without Alcoholics Anonymous: 5 Steps

FarToGo

Great little article, thank you! Reminds me of AVRT (not that I'm really familiar with that yet).

Marcher13

TNT I'm with Dee on this, for me I don't think about what made me drink and I have no wish to delve into it, I know I'm addicted to alcohol so I can't have it. Instead I put my energy into today and the todays to come.

hpdw

I second that . If I was blaming anything I would blame social anxiety ... I just know I cant touch alcohol Ever again no matter what is .

Well done all the above for their sobriety .

Love

Soberwolf

grats on day 74 bud

InTheEnd

Congrats on 74!

I drank, in the beginning, because everyone did. It was the norm, it worked "wonders" (so I thought) for my personality, and in those beginning years....I hadn't yet put together that when uncomfortable or bad things happened back then, it was usually when I was drinking.

After many years, it became quite apparent that I drinking was a major problem for me and yet still, for many more years, I kept drinking. I drank because I couldn't imagine living without it.

Why in the beginning? Its was normal, it's what everyone did. It "helped" us have fun.

Why towards the end? Because I'm an alcoholic and no matter the damage I did while intoxicated, I thought I couldn't live without it.

TNTStill

I agree, I drank because ultimately I wanted to and became addicted.

It wasn't a thought that has been lingering with me everyday, it was more so just reflecting on the whens and wheres and the reasons/excuses I gave myself to drink. I'm in the mist of Step 4 so it was kinda on my mind at the moment more so than usual.

Thanks for the responses and insight! It helps

ccam1973

Congrats on 74 TNT. That's a great accomplishment, keep going strong.

I'm also with Dee on this one. There are a ton of reasons why I started to drink 20 or so years ago, but why I kept drinking was ultimately because I was addicted. Looking back on it now, when you can convince yourself to have your first drink at 9 in the morning and keep going all day, at work or at home, when the sun is shining or when it's raining, you're addicted.

Keep going strong!

SportsFan15

I agree with Dee, when we try to figure out WHY we drank, it feeds obsession. At least for me, the more I wonder why, the more power I give the addiction and more isolated I feel. I TRY to keep it simple (because I'm analytical and tend to obsess!)and say alcohol is a drug. Our brains want more of the drug. Pure and simple, our brains are addicted. But our heart, soul, body, and mind want a NEW LIFE that is free of mental bondage and has much more to offer. You did such a great job on all your sober days. Congratulations! !

PurpleKnight

Keep it simple and keep moving forward!!

Day 74 is fantastic!!

Greenwood618

People drink because they are in love with the pleasurable effects of alcohol. End of story. Any other explanation is an elaborate rationalization

Austin4Wyo

I'll thank you to NOT make gross generalizations about me, my drinking, or my recovery. You do not speak for me. You are entitled to an opinion, and I am entitled to speak my own. People brighter than both of us have spent time on "elaborate rationalizations," and I do not feel it is anyone's place to marginalize something that may be useful to another.

On topic, I didn't really "like" drinking as much as the percieved change in reality. I could have achieved the emotional and social benefits through a lot of hard work on myself, but alcohol seemed easier. However, even in early drinking when it was fun and social, I was not a fan of the physical effects (I can't dance sober, and was acutely aware that alcohol did NOT improve this condition), nor the amplification of negative emotions that often proceeds from imbibing. I also can't say a hangover was anything I looked forward to.

My former psychiatrist and several therapists have helped me put together a working reasoning, which stems from percieved benefits versus percieved pain in life. Early drinking was the social factor, which outweighed hangovers and the drunk girl crying in the corner as the college party hit critical mass (we could almost set our watches to this phenomenon's regularity when I was in school). Had I know/acknowledged the deficiencies in myself that lead to difficulties in my social skills, I potentially could have overcome those issues over time and other methods, but made me PERCIEVE a quick fix. Whether it really was or not is debatable, since it seemed to simply shift those difficulties more often than not.

At the end, though, I simply didn't have the wherewithal to figure out a different solution without help, both human and spiritual. The very REAL pain outweighed the percieved benefits.

Make no mistake, I have moments when I still want to recapture the old feelings, and while I wouldn't classify it as a struggle on any regular basis, it requires due dilligence and vigilence on my part to remind myself of why I no longer drink versus why I did.

ReadyAtLast

Great post TNT. Congratulations on 74 days

2muchpain

I think if someone can figure out why they drank, it would help them to plan ahead to keep it from happening again. Social situations can be difficult for me. Wanting to be accepted is another one. A very stressful day at work is another one. Being aware of this helps me to be better prepared to deal with these situations when they come up.
But then there are times that I have ended up in a liquor store for no reason and with little prior thought. Those are the times that scares me the most. Much harder to plan ahead for. John

NestWasEmpty

Nice work TNT Congrats on 74 days
I drank because I was lonely , Had the Empty Nest thing . Then fell into the drinking crowd . Once I was hooked , I could shake it or put it down