thomas11

This post is not about drinking, but if you read it, thank you. I was working with the guys this week, doing the normal mundane sh*t that we do on a weekly basis. We do lawn care 2 days per week to pay the bills and our landscaping projects are where we can actually make some money, challenge our minds and feel a sense of accomplishment. But its a battle, for those of you who own your own company you know its always a battle. I could write a book on the ups and downs, successes and failures. But I was always up for the fight. I have no fight left in me. I got home on Tuesday, called my tax attorney and scheduled an appointment to sell my company. When I hung up, I cried....and cried, and cried. I have given every ounce of blood, sweat and tears to my company. I have been out plowing and seen the sun rise and set more times than I can count. I have created masterpieces of landscaping that made people giddy with joy. I have cut hundreds of acres of grass, laid semi loads of sod, stacked semi loads of block, installed hundreds of cubic yards of rock and mulch, thousands of plants. I've made some good money and I've gotten my ass handed to me. I've dealt with drunk people late on a Saturday night because they didn't like how the grass was trimmed around their mailbox. But I can't continue. I can't take the stress, the pressure, and much of that stress and pressure are due to things out of my control, like the weather or the economy. I'm proud to say I've never had a project fail, I've never been sued, and for the most part my customers are great. But the 10% who aren't, can ruin your day, your week, your life. So, I made the decision to get out of the rat race, and re-enter the workforce. I will honor my commitments through October and see what the next chapter in my life will bring. Like any business owner, I had dreams and goals, and I was moving towards achieving those, then something comes up and its one step forward, two steps back. You can only absorb so many of those before you realize its either futile or insanity to try and keep going. Am I failure? I don't know, I did this 12 years. I gave it everything I had. But it hurts, and it hurts bad.

ScottFromWI

Most businesses have a lifecycle Thomas. And running a business is a hard job, i've done it in the past too. As you say there are many factors beyond your control and I think selling your business while it's still intact sounds like a success to me. Just the fact that you have something to sell after all those years says something in itself.

Who knows where you'll end up next but you have lots of experience. Maybe you'll work for another business owner or open another business..the sky is the limit.

thomas11

I should add, successful business are often sold and people can retire, I am not one of them. Liquidating my equipment and selling my accounts will merely bring in enough money to square away existing debt. So its a total loss, and that's what hurts the most. Endless hours of effort....and in the end, nothing-zero. It sucks.

leviathan

It's very possible you will be thanking yourself in a while. I was attached to my business, and many of my jobs. My regrets seem to stem from not moving on as fast as I could at times due to the emotional investment and, of course, pride.

What you're feeling is natural, IMO. but will it matter in 5 or 10 years? -not as much as your health will.

2muchpain

I have never owned a company so forgive me if the following question doesn't make sense. I was just wondering if you could keep your company, but hire someone else to do the more stressful parts of keeping it going. That way, you get to keep your company and earn an income from it. John

Anna

Thomas, it sounds like you have some good memories of the business too, of your accomplishments and your hard work. Hopefully as time goes by you will be able to look back with a smile.

Soberish

I'm very sorry to hear this Thomas, and I don't have much advise or probably cannot even imagine what you are going through because I have never owned a business, I am still young. I do know that the world can throw some bad things your way and it happens from time to time.....it just happens, and it happens to all of us.

You probably don't want to hear this but at least you can sell this and pay off your debt. It will be a new start, an uncertain new start at that, but if you stay focused and don't give up you can bounce back and even be at a better place than you have been with your company. Please don't give up Thomas.

lovehoops

Thomas,
I am sorry you are hurting so much. I can sooo understand how you feel . My husband and I are in a similar situation. He has owned a business for 25years and is losing it. Like you, not because if lack of effort or concern. Unless you own your own business you cannot completely understand that you are never REALLY off. It is on your mind constantly. On a weekend, on a vacation (if you ever can afford to take one) you are constantly checking in. It's endless!!! He also thinks he will walk away with nothing.

I am so sorry for you and I DO understand....the financial stress is overwhelming.
Try to keep your head clear and don't drink. That will only add to the anxiety.

I'm thinking if you xo

Ultramarathoner

Is it worth it to consider "firing" the 10% of clients that are causing you significant stress and perhaps keeping the business?

LBrain

best wishes Thomas... maybe a break will do you good.... I know I was devastated when I lost my job - I worked for a big corporation. I still am deciding what I want to do 20 months later.
I know it's not the same thing as giving up a business you built, but it's given me a whole new perspective on life.

Tracy999

I owned my own business for 10 years and just sold it 6 months ago. I understand the emotional turmoil that goes into the decision. I also did not get out of it all of the blood, sweat, and tears I put into it, however, it was worth letting it go to regain my sanity and serenity.

I AM FREE! I have my life back! I have a day job but it is just that, a day job. It doesn't permeate into every other area of my life sucking the enjoyment out of it.

You are not a failure. You have had a successful company and it sounds like you will get out on a good note (i.e. debts paid, obligations met). Many, many small business do not make it that far. You created beautiful things for many years and it sounds like you enjoyed it overall. That is priceless!! Money isn't the measure of success. Perhaps this is a turning point moving you towards something better in life?

thomas11

Its a good question. I've thought about keeping the trucks and hiring guys to plow this winter and I'll get a job. We'll see.

Tooshabby

Absolutely not a failure. You gave it your all. What more can you do? That is a huge success in my books, whatever the outcome. It may indeed be a turning point towards something better :-)

Tracy999

Exactly. I always cringe when I hear someone say they'd love to own their own business when you can see the visions of free time and extended vacations dancing in their head. It doesn't work that way at all.

thomas11

Thanks Anna, I will definitely have some good stories to tell. There are hundreds. One thing running this type of business has taught me is that I fear nothing. I've been in some pretty hairy situations (like almost having a 40K skid loader lose traction on a steep hill and end up in the lake).

Soberwolf

Your a good man Jeff

Bird615

Are you a failure? I don't see that you are.
My sister has her own business. She barely makes ends meet financially, but she's fairly content because she's doing what she loves.
I guess it all depends on your definition of success. I like that saying about when one door closes...

TroyW

Sorry to hear you're down Jeff. I spent two year landscaping myself, but was / am a business owner myself, so can kinda, somewhat mold the two together, although obviously can't put myself in your shoes.

Landscaping is one of those really unique jobs, isn't it? Your crew are basically your family, right? You spend FAR more time with them than with anyone or anywhere else. When you're out there hauling 100 hour weeks with each other to get projects done, through all the sweat and anguish, you become a family.

Nonetheless, as the old saying goes, when one door closes, another opens. Do you know what your plans for the future are? Have you ever maybe considered landscape architecture? That's where many quality guys go after they've decided they've had enough of the grind. Two year course I think is all it is.

Whatever you decide, all the best.

Gilmer

I am so, so sorry, Jeff.

thomas11

Not really. This is just my opinion, but the word "business" is just a code word for money. After all, no matter what business you are in, its about the money. And even the bad ones add revenue to the bottom line, so you take it. I just don't have any fight left in me. I want/need stability and peace. The type of business I had is extremely expensive to operate. We spend about 35K a year on fuel alone (which is nothing compared to the big boys), then you add in taxes, payroll, insurance, workmans comp, unemployment insurance, maintenance and repairs (a set of tires for one of my trucks is $1200 because they have to be Grade D 10-ply to pass DOT inspection. So people freak out when they want a retaining wall built and see its going to cost them $6500 and take us 2 days. They don't see all the other crap is takes to be able to build that wall. Its so much more.