So I paid a visit to my insane ABrother after 4 years...
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 51
So I paid a visit to my insane ABrother after 4 years...
It's been a long time since I posted because I'm trying to move along gracefully, let go and let god or whomever. Four years ago my AB stopped talking to any family members while he spirals down into who knows what because he doesn't communicate. We know about booze and pot, but there's a possibility of more because of the crowd with whom he associates.
We live in Central Washington, I'm an hour from all the fire but the AB is in the the middle of it, literally as the firefighters are camping in a park across the street, so I figured there was some possibility of safety or at least keeping up appearances. Also, along with all the other stuff he's also severely asthmatic and I worried about him with this chewy air (it really sucks to breathe here). So I drove up there.
I knocked on the door, a friend I didn't recognize answered the door and said my brother was lying down. I told him I was his sister and the guy let me in (maybe because the dogs knew me and I knew their names) and went to brother's bedroom doorway. He came back, said
bro didn't want to see me, shrugged and walked away from me and the doorway in sort of a 'go ahead' indifference, passive aggressive whatever.
Bro was lying on his back, I told him Hi. He said he didn't want to see me. I told him I only wanted to make sure he was still breathing. His eyes flew open and he said 'get out of here' I mumbled something and he got up and started for me, yelling to get out so I did, repeating that I only wanted to make sure he was still breathing.
I'm sorry I got in the car and came home because it could have gotten ugly, but I would have been out in the open with all those men around. I want to go back and just needle him from across the street til he bursts and I can either get him thrown in jail or he has some health event - anything to get him into 'safe' custody and we can maybe start some healing.
I know it probably wouldn't work that way, but it's what would be so great. I miss him so much and he's missing so much. Our father is on hospice, so less that six months forecast and I don't even know if bro knows about it, or if dad has moved into an assisted living facility. Or that he has a new grandnephew or, well a million other things.
I don't know what I expect from this post except to blow off steam and say it does get better, but then it gets worse again and you have to work through it again until it gets better and then...
We live in Central Washington, I'm an hour from all the fire but the AB is in the the middle of it, literally as the firefighters are camping in a park across the street, so I figured there was some possibility of safety or at least keeping up appearances. Also, along with all the other stuff he's also severely asthmatic and I worried about him with this chewy air (it really sucks to breathe here). So I drove up there.
I knocked on the door, a friend I didn't recognize answered the door and said my brother was lying down. I told him I was his sister and the guy let me in (maybe because the dogs knew me and I knew their names) and went to brother's bedroom doorway. He came back, said
bro didn't want to see me, shrugged and walked away from me and the doorway in sort of a 'go ahead' indifference, passive aggressive whatever.
Bro was lying on his back, I told him Hi. He said he didn't want to see me. I told him I only wanted to make sure he was still breathing. His eyes flew open and he said 'get out of here' I mumbled something and he got up and started for me, yelling to get out so I did, repeating that I only wanted to make sure he was still breathing.
I'm sorry I got in the car and came home because it could have gotten ugly, but I would have been out in the open with all those men around. I want to go back and just needle him from across the street til he bursts and I can either get him thrown in jail or he has some health event - anything to get him into 'safe' custody and we can maybe start some healing.
I know it probably wouldn't work that way, but it's what would be so great. I miss him so much and he's missing so much. Our father is on hospice, so less that six months forecast and I don't even know if bro knows about it, or if dad has moved into an assisted living facility. Or that he has a new grandnephew or, well a million other things.
I don't know what I expect from this post except to blow off steam and say it does get better, but then it gets worse again and you have to work through it again until it gets better and then...
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Ugh. Sorry you're dealing with this. I think I'd probably contact the firefighting authorities and let them know what's going on with him. They can force him to evacuate, I would imagine--at some point, anyway. You can tell them he's an alcoholic and drug addict and might be unreasonable and unable to act in accordance with his best interests. That's probably about all you can do, short of attempting to have him involuntarily committed.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Antoinette....I can feel my heart crying for you and him as I read your story.
The pain of having o ur relatives torn from us by disease is beyond words.
I think that Lexie's suggestions have merit.
He must know that you care, in his h eart, because you came.
I want you to know that you are not alone and that I care.
Why not at l east ask the firefighters to help? I don't think there is any thing to
lose.
dandylion
The pain of having o ur relatives torn from us by disease is beyond words.
I think that Lexie's suggestions have merit.
He must know that you care, in his h eart, because you came.
I want you to know that you are not alone and that I care.
Why not at l east ask the firefighters to help? I don't think there is any thing to
lose.
dandylion
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