MIRecovery

I've been around a while and have written, "The only thing I HAVE to do is stay sober. Everything else is a choice either good or bad."

I believe many lose sight of the life and death battle we face. How many times have I read, I have to go to the reception, vacation, family get together, social gathering or any of a thousand other events that threaten our sobriety.

We are choosing to do these things we don't have to. If I drink the world will come to the end. If I miss a reception or whatever I will be fine. Yes, there may be some hurt feelings or repercussions but I stayed sober.

Absolutely everything hinges on me not taking that first drink and if I ruffle a few feathers staying sober I can live with that

Time2Rise

I disagree, there are many other things I have to do, staying sober is only one of my responsibilities as an adult male. I either live up to those responsibilities or I don't, and if I don't, I deserve to be criticized.

I could be wrong, but your posts implies that you want to use your past drinking problem as an excuse to avoid at least some of the responsibilities that all moral and responsible adults take on every day of their lives.

MIRecovery

There are certainly other life responsibilities we must do. I am referencing people, places, and things that threaten our sobriety

Time2Rise

From reading your past posts, it appears you've been sober for awhile now. Shouldn't you be over that, especially if you're a 12-Step adherent (the promises)?

I'm sorry, but I'm hearing excuses being made so you can avoid responsibility.

MIRecovery

You are more than welcome to read my posts any way you wish to.

D122y

Mir...I agree 100%.

I look at myself as a guy that is out of chances.

This is my last one. The jail cell is waiting for me if I screw up.

I am blessed to be given this last chance.

I am enjoying my sobriety in freedom versus from the comforts of a jail cell.

Amen.

T2....my sobriety will never be compromised by responsibility. That doesn't make sense to me.

I went to a boozy party this weekend.

Hung around all the other no drinkers. There were loads of them.

D122y

BTW. ..Drinking just 1 beer never made sense to me either. My logic is obviously flawed.

silentrun

I took it to mean it should be the first priority. Not to say that other things are important but without recovery nothing else will matter anyway.

Venecia

I've been on SR for nearly two years now.

My experience with MIR's threads/posts is that they reflect hard-earned wisdom. And more than a little experience with the hardest things life can serve up.

One of the great gifts SR has to offer -- and we can choose to accept -- is that there are some veterans who've spent a lot on the battlefield and have perspectives to offer us, ones from which we can benefit greatly.

letitgo

I agree that i would go to a wedding for friends but likely miss the reception if it meant staying sober.

I interprete MRIs post to mean we feel pressures of things we have to. In reality there is a small amount of things we actually must do. MRI is stating the fact not everything must be attended and its ok to say no if you dont feel comfortable. Maybe your jaded by prior posts i have not read.

I could also see using this as an excuse to cop out of events but this post did not give me that was its intent.

dwtbd

People, places,or things have no control over my sobriety, I do. The world would be a needlessly frightening environment ,if I thought they did.

Upwardspiral

I get what you're saying MIR and it's a lesson I learned the hard way after pushing myself to go to some friend's such and such party and falling off the wagon in the process. More than once. I'm not going to call in sick to work or not pay my phone bill, but those aren't triggers (anymore) or else I'd HAVE TO figure out how to resolve that.
But the parties, the banquets, the poker nights, etc., no. I don't owe anyone my presence if it puts me in danger.

buk1000

I absolutely agree MIR. Understanding this was the turning point for me in achieving sobriety. I had a few relapses that stretched into long periods of drinking again after taking half measures. Once I put my sobriety before all of the things you mentioned I was able to stay sober.

Once I had some sober time I was able to return to those things. Your post isn't out of line at all. And it's not pontificating.

Dee74

MIR has faced one of the most tragic things anyone can - the death of a child.

The fact that he did that sober, and continues to do so, is incredibly inspirational to me, even tho I'm not a 12 stepper.

When MIR speaks, I listen.

I don't consider his posts sermons any more than I consider your posts sermons Time.

D

peanut44

I'm with you MIR! I understood what your post was about. Pretty simple actually.
Take care!

esinger

I think that the whole "recovery" journey is a learning and strength conditioning exercise. In early sobriety of course you should avoid situations that would cater to your addictive impulses. However if we end up spending our lives hiding in fear, is that actually recovery? I for one am not going to spend my life trying to avoid every situation that I think there might be alcohol accessible (everywhere). To me that would be just as dysfunctional as my drinking habit.

Delfin

MIR, I have followed your posts for over two years. I can't speak for others, but personally, I have always found you to be incredibly thoughtful, wise and gracious-never pontificating.

I understand exactly what you're saying here and couldn't agree more. Everything in my life builds from my sobriety, and as such, I guard it carefully. I read around here and see that not guarding my sobriety carefully can have incredibly painful consequences, including death. I have a good home, am a happy person and can face the challenges that come my way because I am sober today.

Thank you for everything you share, MIR.

Delfin

Dee74

Yeah, I don't avoid anything anymore - I'm back into playing music, I'm enjoying a social life again & the fact is I could get drunk or high again any time if I wanted to.

The reason I don't want to is I have a great sober life and a me that I love...

and I have those things because I was very careful about the places I went to and the people I hung around in early recovery.

You don't start weights by lifting 300 pounds. You have to work up to it.

That's why I talk about 'building sobriety muscles'.

I over estimated myself and underestimated my addiction far too many times.
Never again

Fear was part of my drinking - it's not part of my recovery

D

Time2Rise

I'd like to publicly apologize to MIRecovery and to the board. MI, I've sent you a PM. To the board, I'm sorry for my actions.

I've had some pent up anger and for no particular reason, I choose this thread and one other thread to let it out. That was obviously not a healthy decision. I won't make excuses; neither MI or the other thread starter deserved my wrath, and no one on this site needed to see my childish display.

I can see that getting sober will take a little more than just not drinking. Once again, please accept my sincere apologies, but I understand why some members may be less than forgiving.

MythOfSisyphus

It happens, Time2Rise. We're all here to help each other out!

I think you're 100% right, MIR. I have lots of options but drinking is not one of them. As my Big Plan says, I will never drink and I will never change my mind. It's simply not on the table for me, full stop. One glass of wine or one glass of poison, the only difference will be how long it takes for me too die and how many lives I destroy in the process.