Damn- yesterday sucked
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Damn- yesterday sucked
Work has been really stressful. New boss who isnt very knowledgeable in this field (but he is trying and overall a good fit- just will take quite a while to get up to speed), other people at work who retired or quit recently so I am left picking up the slack, overall crappy mood, anxiety, worry, stress, and it all came to a head. I about popped at work.
Went to get my kids from daycare. My daughter was moody, didnt respond to anything I was saying, didnt talk to me, didnt even acknowledge I was there. That hurt... Went to pick up my other kid (daughter in tow) and he was happy. Then my daughter throws a fit on the way home, she goes into time out... This mood lasted all through dinner etc... so after dinner I left- with that intent on getting drunk.
I went to the gas station... no not for gas, the gas station I always go to get beer. I sat there, and sat there and sat there. I eventually got out of my car, went into the stores, picked up my beer, went to the counter, pulled out my credit card, and then stopped- I walked away without saying anything.
I wanted to drink. I wanted to get drunk. I wanted to get numb and not feel anything. I went to bed upset, woke up this morning upset, and I fear this cycle will continue and eventually lead me to actually buying the beer next time and drinking it...
Went to get my kids from daycare. My daughter was moody, didnt respond to anything I was saying, didnt talk to me, didnt even acknowledge I was there. That hurt... Went to pick up my other kid (daughter in tow) and he was happy. Then my daughter throws a fit on the way home, she goes into time out... This mood lasted all through dinner etc... so after dinner I left- with that intent on getting drunk.
I went to the gas station... no not for gas, the gas station I always go to get beer. I sat there, and sat there and sat there. I eventually got out of my car, went into the stores, picked up my beer, went to the counter, pulled out my credit card, and then stopped- I walked away without saying anything.
I wanted to drink. I wanted to get drunk. I wanted to get numb and not feel anything. I went to bed upset, woke up this morning upset, and I fear this cycle will continue and eventually lead me to actually buying the beer next time and drinking it...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
I am sorry that your day was so difficult.
The thing is, though, life is life and there will always be days like that.
So much of sobriety is learning how to deal with days and times in a healthy way and non-destructive manner. And it is doing something for your sobriety every day.
What is your support system? AA, RR/AVRT?
Congratulations on not drinking yesterday.
The thing is, though, life is life and there will always be days like that.
So much of sobriety is learning how to deal with days and times in a healthy way and non-destructive manner. And it is doing something for your sobriety every day.
What is your support system? AA, RR/AVRT?
Congratulations on not drinking yesterday.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Here is a link which may help. Practicing mindfulness may prepare you for the next time you are triggered.
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j...jrDsO_YpeqWDfw
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j...jrDsO_YpeqWDfw
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Well done on not following through w the drink.
You don't need beer or booze. It will just make you weak...mind and body.
Then you woke up today and thought thank God.
Same things are happening to me, but we got through to a sober morning.
PAWS is trying to break me down. But, everyday I am a little stronger in some area.
Thanks to this forum for giving us a place to interact w like minded people. Positive this activity is extremely beneficial to us.
Be proud of your sobriety. It is amazing.
You don't need beer or booze. It will just make you weak...mind and body.
Then you woke up today and thought thank God.
Same things are happening to me, but we got through to a sober morning.
PAWS is trying to break me down. But, everyday I am a little stronger in some area.
Thanks to this forum for giving us a place to interact w like minded people. Positive this activity is extremely beneficial to us.
Be proud of your sobriety. It is amazing.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
There are a million good reasons not to drink. Goodonya , btw, for not giving in to the tempation, but watch how far it took you.
Here are two good reasons not to let your emotional response to stress bring you to the' brink':
One: the idea that drinking will alleviate the stress or help the stress producing situation is a falsehood, a lie
Two: our children learn by example, they are more perceptive than even they know, it sounded like your daughter was having a bad day too, i know my drinking was a bad example for my children and I have to live with that, yours sound young , so lots of time for good examples of your behavior to be modeled
Here are two good reasons not to let your emotional response to stress bring you to the' brink':
One: the idea that drinking will alleviate the stress or help the stress producing situation is a falsehood, a lie
Two: our children learn by example, they are more perceptive than even they know, it sounded like your daughter was having a bad day too, i know my drinking was a bad example for my children and I have to live with that, yours sound young , so lots of time for good examples of your behavior to be modeled
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by dwtbd 
There are a million good reasons not to drink. Goodonya , btw, for not giving in to the tempation, but watch how far it took you.
Here are two good reasons not to let your emotional response to stress bring you to the' brink':
One: the idea that drinking will alleviate the stress or help the stress producing situation is a falsehood, a lie
Two: our children learn by example, they are more perceptive than even they know, it sounded like your daughter was having a bad day too, i know my drinking was a bad example for my children and I have to live with that, yours sound young , so lots of time for good examples of your behavior to be modeled
Here are two good reasons not to let your emotional response to stress bring you to the' brink':
One: the idea that drinking will alleviate the stress or help the stress producing situation is a falsehood, a lie
Two: our children learn by example, they are more perceptive than even they know, it sounded like your daughter was having a bad day too, i know my drinking was a bad example for my children and I have to live with that, yours sound young , so lots of time for good examples of your behavior to be modeled
I guess one thing to be thankful for this morning I would not have noticed had I been hung over- my 1 year old woke up early- so I made him a bottle, and put him in my room while I layed back down for a little while (my alarm was not set to go off for another 20 mins)... when my alarm went off (it was playing music) he started to dance- you know how little one year olds dance? They just bend at their knees and clap. And he had such a smile on his face... it was rather funny to watch.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Originally Posted by jryan19982
Work has been really stressful. New boss who isnt very knowledgeable in this field (but he is trying and overall a good fit- just will take quite a while to get up to speed), other people at work who retired or quit recently so I am left picking up the slack, overall crappy mood, anxiety, worry, stress, and it all came to a head. I about popped at work.
Went to get my kids from daycare. My daughter was moody, didnt respond to anything I was saying, didnt talk to me, didnt even acknowledge I was there. That hurt... Went to pick up my other kid (daughter in tow) and he was happy. Then my daughter throws a fit on the way home, she goes into time out... This mood lasted all through dinner etc... so after dinner I left- with that intent on getting drunk.
I went to the gas station... no not for gas, the gas station I always go to get beer. I sat there, and sat there and sat there. I eventually got out of my car, went into the stores, picked up my beer, went to the counter, pulled out my credit card, and then stopped- I walked away without saying anything.
I wanted to drink. I wanted to get drunk. I wanted to get numb and not feel anything. I went to bed upset, woke up this morning upset, and I fear this cycle will continue and eventually lead me to actually buying the beer next time and drinking it...
Went to get my kids from daycare. My daughter was moody, didnt respond to anything I was saying, didnt talk to me, didnt even acknowledge I was there. That hurt... Went to pick up my other kid (daughter in tow) and he was happy. Then my daughter throws a fit on the way home, she goes into time out... This mood lasted all through dinner etc... so after dinner I left- with that intent on getting drunk.
I went to the gas station... no not for gas, the gas station I always go to get beer. I sat there, and sat there and sat there. I eventually got out of my car, went into the stores, picked up my beer, went to the counter, pulled out my credit card, and then stopped- I walked away without saying anything.
I wanted to drink. I wanted to get drunk. I wanted to get numb and not feel anything. I went to bed upset, woke up this morning upset, and I fear this cycle will continue and eventually lead me to actually buying the beer next time and drinking it...
Great job with respect to not buying the beer. Turning around at that point shows amazing resolve. I can't say that I've ever had that in me once I'm at that point.
Yesterday was a crappy day for me too. I was soooo depressed. I had to remind myself of a few things. Mood swings and irritability are part of early recovery (I don't know how long you've been sober). Don't take the behavior of others, especially my daughter, personally. She has her own issues and basically is new to living. She is trying to figure out how to cope too. Remind myself that I can control only me and my reactions. As an addict, my coping mechanisms are nill to none. Drinking IS my coping mechanism, and it no longer works. So I'm forced to learn new ways of thinking. I cannot afford the luxury of letting my emotions and thinking run wild. I also have to remind myself that all feelings, good and bad, eventually change. Always. I can only do my best and that has to be good enough.
I think you should be amazingly proud of yourself for not drinking. Focus on that. You deserve it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I'm so glad you didn't drink. I'm sorry you had a bad day. I've been told to write a gratitude list when life starts throwing stuff at me. Maybe that would help.
Even though work is rough and you're picking up the slack, your new boss won't always be new. He's trying and he's a good fit. He'll most likely remember and appreciate all you are doing right now. Would you be the same if you were hungover?
And your son was really glad to see you. Is this a common thing with your daughter?
My daughter regularly throws screaming, crying fits in the back seat on the way home. It is extremely irritating. My son responds. Then they're both squabbling in the back seat. If I were to numb myself by drinking, I'm only going to make things worse. I remember dealing with that behavior when I had a hangover and it's excruciating. Most of the time she's feeling something but can't verbalize yet how she's feeling. I couldn't do that when I was drinking either.
Hang in there. There are days that are harder but days that are easier. You made a good decision
Even though work is rough and you're picking up the slack, your new boss won't always be new. He's trying and he's a good fit. He'll most likely remember and appreciate all you are doing right now. Would you be the same if you were hungover?
And your son was really glad to see you. Is this a common thing with your daughter?
My daughter regularly throws screaming, crying fits in the back seat on the way home. It is extremely irritating. My son responds. Then they're both squabbling in the back seat. If I were to numb myself by drinking, I'm only going to make things worse. I remember dealing with that behavior when I had a hangover and it's excruciating. Most of the time she's feeling something but can't verbalize yet how she's feeling. I couldn't do that when I was drinking either.
Hang in there. There are days that are harder but days that are easier. You made a good decision
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by Ruby2
I'm so glad you didn't drink. I'm sorry you had a bad day. I've been told to write a gratitude list when life starts throwing stuff at me. Maybe that would help.
Even though work is rough and you're picking up the slack, your new boss won't always be new. He's trying and he's a good fit. He'll most likely remember and appreciate all you are doing right now. Would you be the same if you were hungover?
And your son was really glad to see you. Is this a common thing with your daughter?
My daughter regularly throws screaming, crying fits in the back seat on the way home. It is extremely irritating. My son responds. Then they're both squabbling in the back seat. If I were to numb myself by drinking, I'm only going to make things worse. I remember dealing with that behavior when I had a hangover and it's excruciating. Most of the time she's feeling something but can't verbalize yet how she's feeling. I couldn't do that when I was drinking either.
Hang in there. There are days that are harder but days that are easier. You made a good decision
Even though work is rough and you're picking up the slack, your new boss won't always be new. He's trying and he's a good fit. He'll most likely remember and appreciate all you are doing right now. Would you be the same if you were hungover?
And your son was really glad to see you. Is this a common thing with your daughter?
My daughter regularly throws screaming, crying fits in the back seat on the way home. It is extremely irritating. My son responds. Then they're both squabbling in the back seat. If I were to numb myself by drinking, I'm only going to make things worse. I remember dealing with that behavior when I had a hangover and it's excruciating. Most of the time she's feeling something but can't verbalize yet how she's feeling. I couldn't do that when I was drinking either.
Hang in there. There are days that are harder but days that are easier. You made a good decision
And yes my son is always happy to be picked up from daycare (not that he doesnt enjoy it but because I guess he likes going home to his family)...
My wife says my daughter is testing me... but what test she is throwing at me is not made clear to me. So it makes it hard for me to understand what is going on and how I should respond.
Gl@ss Artist & Cat Lady
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 880
Every day you don't go buy that beer, it will get easier. We have all been there. I'm just finding out now that I can get through the crappy days and crappy moods without drinking. They pass. Drinking doesn't make it better and the problem is still there.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 403
God job. Family feuding seems to be one of my biggest triggers. I got in the car once and drove toward the liquor store after one of our blowouts. They can be so frustrating. I quickly turned around knowing the game would only result in the cat is chasing the tail.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Jryan your advice to me today was so useful I really value you being my friend and if you ever want to talk free feel to msg
You really helped me today I loved your advice please stick it out today I have been stressed for different reasons but with friends like you my day got better
You really helped me today I loved your advice please stick it out today I have been stressed for different reasons but with friends like you my day got better
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Well done on not drinking. As others have said, stressful times always occur - the trick to staying sober is knowing they will arise and having coping methods in place to deal with and distract until it passes.
One of my favourite phrases on SR is "the difference between a bad day and a good day is 24 hours"
One of my favourite phrases on SR is "the difference between a bad day and a good day is 24 hours"
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
A friend here posted this on another thread today.........thought it was solid.
So what I needed to do after each( potential) slip was think about what else I could add to my plan of action and defenses against drinking that would have helped this time around. It all tweaking and then tweaking some more.
Sounds like this guy is growing, imo...........and got through a tough day.
So what I needed to do after each( potential) slip was think about what else I could add to my plan of action and defenses against drinking that would have helped this time around. It all tweaking and then tweaking some more.
Sounds like this guy is growing, imo...........and got through a tough day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by Fly N Buy
A friend here posted this on another thread today.........thought it was solid.
So what I needed to do after each( potential) slip was think about what else I could add to my plan of action and defenses against drinking that would have helped this time around. It all tweaking and then tweaking some more.
Sounds like this guy is growing, imo...........and got through a tough day.
So what I needed to do after each( potential) slip was think about what else I could add to my plan of action and defenses against drinking that would have helped this time around. It all tweaking and then tweaking some more.
Sounds like this guy is growing, imo...........and got through a tough day.
I was about to type that I responded in a similar way to a post and then... well I realized that was me. Thank for you considering me a friend. Yes I did make it through a tough day, and I know there will be more to come. And with winter rolling in soon enough, it will take away some of the outdoors things I do to keep up my defenses. I guess no better time than now to think about what I can do during the winter.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by jryan19982
LOL thanks I was about to type that I responded in a similar way to a post and then... well I realized that was me. Thank for you considering me a friend.
Yes I did make it through a tough day, and I know there will be more to come. And with winter rolling in soon enough, it will take away some of the outdoors things I do to keep up my defenses. I guess no better time than now to think about what I can do during the winter.
I was about to type that I responded in a similar way to a post and then... well I realized that was me. Thank for you considering me a friend. Yes I did make it through a tough day, and I know there will be more to come. And with winter rolling in soon enough, it will take away some of the outdoors things I do to keep up my defenses. I guess no better time than now to think about what I can do during the winter.
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