When does the fog clear and the depression dissipate?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 6
When does the fog clear and the depression dissipate?
When I was a kid, I'd watch my dad drink and turn into a different, not so nice, person. I told myself that I'd never be that person and that drinking would never have a place in my life, same with cigarettes.
Then, I went to college...
On my own in a new environment, social anxiety and a desire to make friends and fit in took over and I accepted a **** warm Keystone Light beer on a brisk fall night. It lit a match than has yet to go out. I realized that drinking was fun, it gave me a sense of euphoria and my awkwardness melted away, along with my ability to form coherent sentences.
As time went on it went from being a companion to a full blown problem I can't seem to kick. I've become the person I never wanted to be. 17 year old me would be disgusted and I don't blame the guy. Every horrible thing that is associated with drinking as happened to me. I've been a dick to friends, gained weight, blacked out, driven, taken up smoking, allowed my work to suffer, and even gotten in trouble with Johnny Law.
There have been plenty of blurry Sunday morning where I've woken up in a haze and declared that change was on the horizon only for Friday to arrive and me to say "I'll just be careful this weekend, only a few beers." Next thing I know it's Saturday at noon and while everyone else has run errands, exercised, and done productive things I'm driving to McDonalds to help settle my stomach and sit on my couch.
For the last 5 years, my life has been like the directions on a shampoo bottle: drink, cleanse, repeat. I'm sick of it. Sick of waking up with dry mouth, being poor from this habit, taking Advil like it's a daily vitamin, and allowing my body to just sink into despair. I lie to myself all the time "this is what 20-somethings do" "this is how you meet people." I bought a wine rack a while back because I thought it would look nice in my apartment, the thing never has a bottle on it for more than a few hours. Some days I just want to take a hammer to it and hope everything goes away.
I want to be sober, I want to remember, I want to be healthy, and I want to be happy. I used to always be happy, I never got sad or angry and now that's my usual mood. I'm a bloated loser. I see everyone I went to school with cultivating relationships, receiving promotions, finishing marathons and I want all that. I want a life. More importantly, I want the life I promised myself as a kid.
How do you do it? When does it get better?
Then, I went to college...
On my own in a new environment, social anxiety and a desire to make friends and fit in took over and I accepted a **** warm Keystone Light beer on a brisk fall night. It lit a match than has yet to go out. I realized that drinking was fun, it gave me a sense of euphoria and my awkwardness melted away, along with my ability to form coherent sentences.
As time went on it went from being a companion to a full blown problem I can't seem to kick. I've become the person I never wanted to be. 17 year old me would be disgusted and I don't blame the guy. Every horrible thing that is associated with drinking as happened to me. I've been a dick to friends, gained weight, blacked out, driven, taken up smoking, allowed my work to suffer, and even gotten in trouble with Johnny Law.
There have been plenty of blurry Sunday morning where I've woken up in a haze and declared that change was on the horizon only for Friday to arrive and me to say "I'll just be careful this weekend, only a few beers." Next thing I know it's Saturday at noon and while everyone else has run errands, exercised, and done productive things I'm driving to McDonalds to help settle my stomach and sit on my couch.
For the last 5 years, my life has been like the directions on a shampoo bottle: drink, cleanse, repeat. I'm sick of it. Sick of waking up with dry mouth, being poor from this habit, taking Advil like it's a daily vitamin, and allowing my body to just sink into despair. I lie to myself all the time "this is what 20-somethings do" "this is how you meet people." I bought a wine rack a while back because I thought it would look nice in my apartment, the thing never has a bottle on it for more than a few hours. Some days I just want to take a hammer to it and hope everything goes away.
I want to be sober, I want to remember, I want to be healthy, and I want to be happy. I used to always be happy, I never got sad or angry and now that's my usual mood. I'm a bloated loser. I see everyone I went to school with cultivating relationships, receiving promotions, finishing marathons and I want all that. I want a life. More importantly, I want the life I promised myself as a kid.
How do you do it? When does it get better?
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to Sober Recovery
How do you do it? When does it get better? I had to really, really, really want to get sober. And I really had to do something about it [emphasis on do], and not just think my decision alone was going to carry me to recovery.
Read around the forums. There is a lot of information about the various methods to achieve sobriety. Good luck.
As for when it get better...quit and be patient. You'll find out it's not as long as you think..
Originally Posted by Taureg 
How do you do it? When does it get better?
Read around the forums. There is a lot of information about the various methods to achieve sobriety. Good luck.
As for when it get better...quit and be patient. You'll find out it's not as long as you think..
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Welcome Taurig. I'm pretty new here too but not so new to quitting. Staying quit is my challenge.
Do you believe you are an alcoholic? Booze definitely sounds like its not working well for you. But only you can decide if you need to quit. And for me I had to want to quit more than I wanted to be drunk (and feel horrible all the time). My worst day sober is never as bad as my best day drunk.
Do you believe you are an alcoholic? Booze definitely sounds like its not working well for you. But only you can decide if you need to quit. And for me I had to want to quit more than I wanted to be drunk (and feel horrible all the time). My worst day sober is never as bad as my best day drunk.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Taurig 
Like others have said, I really wanted to be sober - and I was prepared to change my life to faciliate that change
It sounds big, but you'll find a lot of support here.
I'm also sure you'll find the real you again - and find the real you likes a sober life
I drank for 20 years and had a few other health issues but I was feeling much clearer of mind and even tempered by 3 months or so - of course everyone is different - your experience may indeed be shorter than that
Hope you'll stick around
D
Like others have said, I really wanted to be sober - and I was prepared to change my life to faciliate that change
It sounds big, but you'll find a lot of support here.
I'm also sure you'll find the real you again - and find the real you likes a sober life
I drank for 20 years and had a few other health issues but I was feeling much clearer of mind and even tempered by 3 months or so - of course everyone is different - your experience may indeed be shorter than that
Hope you'll stick around
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Lovely to meet you, Taureg. You found a great place to talk things over - we all understand what you're going through.
I was the same - loved the feeling of euphoria it once gave me. Loved it so much I made it part of everything I did. Decades of being obsessed with it caused so much destruction & misery. When I found SR I was completely dependent on it - drinking every day. I don't know why I clung to it for so long - in the end there was nothing fun or relaxing about it. It was just a mind-numbing habit. You don't need it.
I was the same - loved the feeling of euphoria it once gave me. Loved it so much I made it part of everything I did. Decades of being obsessed with it caused so much destruction & misery. When I found SR I was completely dependent on it - drinking every day. I don't know why I clung to it for so long - in the end there was nothing fun or relaxing about it. It was just a mind-numbing habit. You don't need it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I did it one day at a time.
Now I am over 3 years without a drink.
It sounds contrived, but focusing on not drinking for a day and no further ahead worked for me.
I had to keep busy.
I steered away from stressful situations.
I lived a very clean, simple life.
I still do to a certain extent - but now i feel i can go to places where drinking happens if i want.
However, most of the time i would rather not as i find places like that really dull.
Like Hevyn states it is a habit we do not need - so smash that favourite glass, get off the sofa and get busy filling time so you are not reminded to drink when you have free time on your hands.
Make new routines.
I have a certain peace in my head now - knowing I never have to wake up thinking what did I do or say.
Life is not 100% perfect but much more so than it was.
Now I am over 3 years without a drink.
It sounds contrived, but focusing on not drinking for a day and no further ahead worked for me.
I had to keep busy.
I steered away from stressful situations.
I lived a very clean, simple life.
I still do to a certain extent - but now i feel i can go to places where drinking happens if i want.
However, most of the time i would rather not as i find places like that really dull.
Like Hevyn states it is a habit we do not need - so smash that favourite glass, get off the sofa and get busy filling time so you are not reminded to drink when you have free time on your hands.
Make new routines.
I have a certain peace in my head now - knowing I never have to wake up thinking what did I do or say.
Life is not 100% perfect but much more so than it was.
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
Sounds like you and I were at a similar point in our lives in our mid 20s. I basically said all the same stuff you just wrote in your intro, 10 years ago. The difference is I continued to drink and ignore the problems for 10 more years and didn't quit until this past January.
You obviously have to want to quit and cut all ties to make it work. It is hard and that's why it took me so long. I just couldn't bring myself to accept I had a problem and always tried to forget the past or moderate. It was all garbage though I was addicted and burying my head in the sand. It took health problems to get me to finally quit.
Since I quit I can tell you I have never felt better.
I hope you can get sober so you don't follow my mistakes.
You obviously have to want to quit and cut all ties to make it work. It is hard and that's why it took me so long. I just couldn't bring myself to accept I had a problem and always tried to forget the past or moderate. It was all garbage though I was addicted and burying my head in the sand. It took health problems to get me to finally quit.
Since I quit I can tell you I have never felt better.
I hope you can get sober so you don't follow my mistakes.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 625
How do you do it?
Take one day at a time. Eat well. Take a multivitamin. Drink lots of water. See a doctor and dentist if you haven't in a while. Rest a lot. Get some exercise. Get out in the sunlight. Take up a new hobby. Reconnect with family and friends. Get a handle on your finances. Step away from as much stress as you can. Be kind to yourself.
All of those sound simple, but they are not easy. A sober lifestyle is a change in the fundamental way that an alcoholic deals with the world. Some days are just over tiring. On those days, ask for help. There are many good people here on SR who know exactly what you are dealing with, and are generous with their time and expertise.
When does it get better?
It seems like a YMMV kind of thing. I think I might be a lot older than you, but I felt a lot better at a little over 3 months without a drink (I am only almost 4 months now so the memory is really fresh and I'm not feeling 100% still). Before that I felt like I was walking through fog with a bad flu that never went away. I still get stressed. I occasionally want to drink. But I never want to do those 3 months again! So, I choose not to drink. You can choose not to drink too. It's sometimes a struggle, but you'll be so glad you took on that battle! Welcome!
Take one day at a time. Eat well. Take a multivitamin. Drink lots of water. See a doctor and dentist if you haven't in a while. Rest a lot. Get some exercise. Get out in the sunlight. Take up a new hobby. Reconnect with family and friends. Get a handle on your finances. Step away from as much stress as you can. Be kind to yourself.
All of those sound simple, but they are not easy. A sober lifestyle is a change in the fundamental way that an alcoholic deals with the world. Some days are just over tiring. On those days, ask for help. There are many good people here on SR who know exactly what you are dealing with, and are generous with their time and expertise.
When does it get better?
It seems like a YMMV kind of thing. I think I might be a lot older than you, but I felt a lot better at a little over 3 months without a drink (I am only almost 4 months now so the memory is really fresh and I'm not feeling 100% still). Before that I felt like I was walking through fog with a bad flu that never went away. I still get stressed. I occasionally want to drink. But I never want to do those 3 months again! So, I choose not to drink. You can choose not to drink too. It's sometimes a struggle, but you'll be so glad you took on that battle! Welcome!
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Welcome.
This is your bottom. Make a plan to drink in 70 years. Never is such a big number....
Then take it ODAT.
I'm not drinking today.
We have been lucky. Don't wait until you get locked up, or ruined to decide to quit. I consider my current health and freedom a last chance.
Do it. Be a proud sober person. It feels amazing.
This is your bottom. Make a plan to drink in 70 years. Never is such a big number....
Then take it ODAT.
I'm not drinking today.
We have been lucky. Don't wait until you get locked up, or ruined to decide to quit. I consider my current health and freedom a last chance.
Do it. Be a proud sober person. It feels amazing.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Somewhere in California
Posts: 1,136
Once you want to be sober- and it sounds like you do, if you can stay sober for awhile, you'll begin to see how great life is without alcohol.
I'm 9 months sober and I've gotten to the point that the LAST thing I want to do is drink. I've seen what sober life is like and I don't want to go back. That's my motivation. That and SR has kept me sober. It sounds strange, but sobriety keeps me sober. I live a full, rich and fulfilling life without alcohol and I choose that over drinking.
I'm 9 months sober and I've gotten to the point that the LAST thing I want to do is drink. I've seen what sober life is like and I don't want to go back. That's my motivation. That and SR has kept me sober. It sounds strange, but sobriety keeps me sober. I live a full, rich and fulfilling life without alcohol and I choose that over drinking.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I was feeling pretty settled at about six months. I also, at about three months, began to practice gratitude every day. It made a huge difference in my recovery and in my life.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Kansas
Posts: 399
Welcome Taureg. That's a great first post. It is exactly how I felt when I quit drinking, almost word for word.
I had to keep myself very busy when I quit drinking. It was probably 4-5 months before things started to click and I had energy and some confidence in my sober self. It's definitely worth it. The first thing you'll notice is that you have a little more money in your bank account. That helped for me because I had racked up some legal obligations and was in debt. Even though I wasn't on top of the world in early sobriety, I still had something tangible to show for my decision to put the bottle down.
You've come to the right place. You'll find a lot of support here.
I had to keep myself very busy when I quit drinking. It was probably 4-5 months before things started to click and I had energy and some confidence in my sober self. It's definitely worth it. The first thing you'll notice is that you have a little more money in your bank account. That helped for me because I had racked up some legal obligations and was in debt. Even though I wasn't on top of the world in early sobriety, I still had something tangible to show for my decision to put the bottle down.
You've come to the right place. You'll find a lot of support here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Taking Advil like its a daily vitamin sorry I laughed because you put it so well I too took it like it was a daily vitamin also took sleeping pills once bombed so that I would not wake up itching for a drink in the middle of the night.
It took time but it got better each day honestly tho from one day to the next the improvement was so small it was not noticeable but I'd say every 30 days or so I could easily look back and notice the progress and even then sometimes it didn't seem like much. But I just kept going all those little bit betters added up to lotta bit better etc
It took time but it got better each day honestly tho from one day to the next the improvement was so small it was not noticeable but I'd say every 30 days or so I could easily look back and notice the progress and even then sometimes it didn't seem like much. But I just kept going all those little bit betters added up to lotta bit better etc
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