BeanSkillet

I've been curious if there is some sort of correlation between chance of success at quitting drinking and age. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems a lot of people don't get really successful at long term sobriety until around mid-life or later. Does this have anything to do with maturity, outgrowing the bar scene, the progression of the problem, or something else?

I've known I had a problem with drinking since my early 20's, but I have always been unsuccessful at quitting for long. I think part of it has to do with this thought process of "But I'm so young. I have plenty of time to worry about quitting. I'm going to miss out on my youth if I quit right now." Now that I'm in my early 30's and I seem to be outgrowing some of those thoughts, it seems a little easier to envision myself quitting long term. Anyone else think this way?

doggonecarl

A lot of people aren't successful at all. You have to want to get sober, regardless of age.

brighterlife

When I was younger I drank to excess week ends maybe. During the week I wouldn't dream of drinking. One difference I can think between then and now is the anxiety the day after. That awful gut wrenching fear of doom. That never happened when I was younger, even if I made a prat out of myself. The anxiety is a huge motivator to remaining sober

Aellyce

I think that a significant number of people get sober at a young age (20's or 30's) and maintain that sobriety for decades or life-long -- many examples here in SR. There does seem to be a tendency that addiction shows signs very early in life, and some people experience a quite fast progression so that they are still young when they get to the point of no other choice but quitting or dying. But even this is not a general rule. There are also people who develop a drinking problem in old age.

I, for one, did not have a problem with alcohol (even though I did drink occasionally) until my early 30's and got sober just before I turned 40 (with no relapse so far), so it was ~8 years of struggle for me. I did have other addiction-like problems before when I was younger though that I pretty much left behind by mid-20's. I think it's all over the map how these issues develop and are resolved. I sometimes get the feeling from some people that they think they are still young enough and have more time to drink/drug and will address it later. This, imo, is always a dangerous and typically addictive mindset as the longer we wait usually the harder to get out of it, the habit gets more and more ingrained. For me in retrospect, I wish I had quit shortly after I realized the problem instead of waiting all those years!

melki

There's probably some statistics to show that it's more common to get sober mid-life but I wouldn't focus on it too much. It's a personal journey. Some successfully get sober in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, some don't get there at all...

In my case also, unhealthy drinking habits of my early 20s blossomed into full-blown alcoholic drinking and culminated in rock bottom and subsequent recovery in mid-30s. I spent most of my 20s in denial and similar thoughts that it can be managed and there's time ahead...

Soberwolf

I think giving up alcohol at any age is going to be tough alcoholism does not age discriminate

endlesspatience

I found this in a post elsewhere by Anvilhead:

"Alcoholism isn't a label like "stupid" - it is the name given to a specific illness. In a medical context alcoholism is said to exist when two or more of the following is present: a person drinks large amounts over a long time period, has difficulty cutting down, acquiring and drinking alcohol takes up a great deal of time, alcohol is strongly desired, usage results in not fulfilling responsibilities, usage results in social problems, usage results in health problems, usage results in risky situations, withdrawal occurs when stopping, and alcohol tolerance has occurred with use ( "Alcohol Use Disorder: A Comparison Between DSM–IV and DSM–5". November 2013. Retrieved 9 May 2015).

So bearing that in mind, age doesn't seem particularly important.

Squizz

I've been sober since I was 27. It can be done. As others have stated here: Ya' just gotta' want it. -Matt

BeanSkillet

Thanks for the response. I know age shouldn't really matter. I forget that some people don't even develop problems until later in life. My problems started young, so sometimes I assume everyone else started problem drinking at a young age. And yes, I also realize some people never get sober. All we can do is address the problem and keep trying, no matter the age.

DefconOne

Excellent question...I've never seen any statistics on this. My guess is older drunks might do better. But its tough for anyone. Never tried to quit when I was young. In my late fifties I really lost everything to alcohol. Way overboard drinking 24/7. My life was coming to an end as a classic older drunk in total seclusion. Tried to stop by myself. Failure after failure. Hit bottom in a hospital with heart congestion. Nearly died. After these false starts and failing health I was able to find a way to stop by entering formal treatment and going to AA . I am now sober for the longest period of my adult life since March 1st, 2014. One thing I've noticed. There are a lot of older sober people, not a lot of older active drunks..in fact not hardly any...good luck!

GnikNus

I think when people are a bit older, they see the risks and consequences of drinking more clearly. When I was in my 20's I was in denial/ thought I had time to "cut back," etc. I've quit in my late 30's in large part because I realized how far I was pushing things and what would happen in the not too distant future if I kept on with drinking.
When you're young you're "invincible." That's not to say people don't hit serious rock bottom in their 20's, but I think there is some truth to the OP's observation.

Eshgham

I think the brain chemistry and traits that give (social/romantic) value to a 21 year old man are pretty different to that of a 31 year old. For these reasons they'll approach sobriety differently, and I think it's more likely to have success at an older age. The same can probably be said for women too

buk1000

I got sober at the age of 27 and I can relate to the original post. Even though I had 3 DUI's, legal problems and financial distress and even though I had alienated nearly all of my friends and family I still thought and said "I don't know. It just feels like I'm too young to stop drinking."

I didn't know anyone my age who had quit and I knew that my entire social life would be different. I don't think it's any harder to get sober, but it might be a harder choice to make. Drinking and going to bars and clubs is a more prevalent social activity when you're young.

15 years later though, most of the people I hung out with back then are now sober. Still, it took me a long time to be comfortable with sobriety.

SoberLife90

My sobriety date is August 11th, 2013. I am 2 years aober and 25 years old. Legal trouble never scared me into sobriety but eventually i was broke and scared of withdrawling...againn. I had no fight left in me...was done hustling for drugs and alcohol...i decided to go to rehab. I wasn't sure if i wanted to get sober. I wanted them to take me off one of my addictions do i could manage my life better. Haha...well they took me off both. Anyways a big part for me was learning of an alcoholic and admitting that i shared the same traits as an alvoholic. Once i admitted to myself I was an alcoholic I knew that I could not win. I knew I was different than other people...i knew that I could not use in moderation...and a look back at my drinking and using career proves this.

1. Honesty
2. Surrender
3. Acceptance

Now i work the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous to the best of my ability because I want to live!!!

Wonderful thread. Makes me feel good. Such a major turning point in my life. Once you aknowledge the problem...you can begin your recovery.

DayTrader

Just my opinion but it's based upon 8 years of recovery and 8 years of watching who's been able to get/stay sober vs those who dry out for a time then go back to it.....

If I had to pin-point it..... it's age related but not necessarily maturity related. What I've seen is it's mostly "butt-kicking-related." When drinking only hurt a bit....I kept at it. When it hurt a lot.....I kept at it. When it was killing me......I kept at it.

When I got to a point in my life that I truly didn't want to live anymore. A point where the drinking was certainly killing me and the not-drinking seemed to be killing me just a badly but from a different angle, I finally hit the point where drastic measures (ie, AA) started to make sense.

Some people are able to say ouch and make changes early on. Most alcoholics, the chronic ones anyway, have historically had extremely high tolerances for pain. Hence, they keep on muddling through live, half-dying......till they finally hit that surrender point.

Fly N Buy

There is much data available to sift thru on not only age but other demographics as well. Your thread sparked some interest in me and I did check out some of the legit - well respected channels including National Institute of Health. Readily available to look up and I won't start quoting stats.

This statement summed up my sentiments well though - "Often the people who relapse have stopped engaging in the recovery-oriented practices that served them well during their earlier sobriety. We certainly need to learn more about what factors protect such people from relapse, and what factors predispose them to returning to addictive use."
Psychology Today

Thanks for the thread -
Like many, I think I'll leave the stats to official channels and just work on me........

MelindaFlowers

I started drinking at 21 and drank alcoholically, every night by 24. I drank alcoholically for 8 years and stopped at 32 when the daily hangovers (later I realized they were withdrawals) became too much to bear.

I had my first realization that I needed to stop at 28 when I joined this site. One pattern I've noticed on here is similar to mine. When people get into heavy, daily drinking they only last about 8 years before they can't stand it anymore.

Zebra1275

I got sober at 46, and by that I mean I told my wife I was an alcoholic and I seriously tried to quit drinking. I've screwed up a few times since then and now, because staying sober can be tough.

For me, age was a factor. I couldn't recover the morning after as quickly.

And when I was younger I knew I had a drinking problem, but I keep putting off quitting, saying to myself I'll quit when I'm 30, or when my first kid is born, or whatever. Basically quitting time never came, it just kept getting put off into the future. Eventually I realized I might not have a very long future left if I didn't stop.

Ruby2

A friend of mine has been sober since her early twenties and she's forty now. I've been sober for 20 months and I'm 50. You have to want it and I wasn't ready at the time. It depends on so many variables. Not everyone is ready to quit while they're ahead.

bigsombrero

I got sober at 37. I think age and maturity have something to do with it - but as you know, some people are very "mature" for 18 and others are very immature for being 40.

In your 30's the scene with bars, parties, etc starts to dry up with old friends. They are moving on, careers, travel, families, etc. In my case, I ended up "keeping the party going" for many years too long. I had been drinking heavily for most of my years since 18. Your body starts to show signs. Give out. It's really, really hard to be an alcoholic and the wear and tear breaks many of us down. Also, at 37 I was not a kid anymore. Real life is in full swing. This is "it". Did I want to live through my 40's drinking at the same pace? Or was I ready for some life changes? I was mature enough to accept the fact that it was now or never. Oh yeah, it also took a few ambulance rides. It really came down to the basics: live clearly or die a slow, drunken death. I'm not sure at 18 or 20 I would have realized the choices were so clear-cut. I just turned 40 and have 3 years sober, so happy I made the choice to live in this fashion.

One thing we all say: we wished we'd quit sooner. Youth can indeed be wasted on the young!