getright15

I don't even know how to feel at the moment. Really tired of myself and the let downs and the stupid decisions that have caused so much pain in my life and my family.

If out patient therapy doesn't work I don't know what else next to do.

Wastinglife

I think most of us on this forum have felt the same way at some point. I have left a trail of destruction in the wake of my alcoholism. Family and friends have distanced themselves. I've ruined my past 3 relationships with women. The most recent was with a girl I thought I would marry. I've lost jobs, material possessions and most importantly, my dignity.

However, I know that there is a future for me. I am not giving up. Nor should you! One day sober at a time!

DuhDave

...if you're at the end of your rope...Tie a knot and hang on.

The answer is soon to come.

DD

DitzyDandelion

I have had a lot of ups and downs in early recovery. Had a lot before too Iguess but they were all extra dramatic with booze lol. It does ease up after a time. Of course life can still get you down at times but that big empty who am I seems to fade a touch.

Dee74

The good thing is we only have bad days now getitright - not bad weeks or months - I hope tomorrow is better

D

LadyinBC

I think you should put this in your signature! '

Just try to get thru this one day at a time. Don't think about what hasn't passed yet.

MythOfSisyphus

That's "hour of the wolf" thinking, getright. I totally understand your fears and it's normal to worry, but let yourself be open to the idea that it will work for you. If you want to quit there will be a way! Hang in there, man!

Foolsgold186

Things will get better! Hang in there.

FreeOwl

You can do it.

It's ok to feel down in the dumps....

But also give yourself some empathy and comfort and forgiveness.

Those past actions are past. You cannot change them.

TODAY, you can be the person you want. TODAY, you can choose in an honorable direction. TODAY, you can stay sober and make choices that you can feel proud of. TODAY you can be a person you will smile about and love.

TODAY.... You can love yourself.

TODAy, you can set yourself free.

MIRecovery

My daughter died a year ago. Between her illnesses, death, and crushing grief I have not been down in the dumps I have been in the bottom of the garbage disposal.

I have learned a few things. A bad, day, week, or in my case 1.5 years does not mean a bad life. Things will get better as long as I stay sober and I know this to be true because things are getting better.

What worked for me in the beginning was IOP and AA concurrently. I immersed myself I need recovery 24X7

getright15

Thanks for all the support. Funny how my wife catches me shaking my head randomly. It's me thinking about what I did or could've done differently, along with the mess I find myself in with the law and finances. Incredible!

You guys are awesome on this site.

getright15

I try and it feels like I'm getting no where. One day at a time for sure, but I can't help but look in the future as to what I have to face.

Holds1325

Know exactly how you feel! I have good days and bad days, the thing with bad days is they far outweigh the good days when they actually happen,

but, staying sober keeps the good days coming and soon, i know they will stay consistent,

getright15

I certainly hope so. It's really difficult to stay positive during all the mayhem.

ScottFromWI

Try and simplify things as much as you can. You can only do so much so prioritize. Getting rest and gearing up for your rehab program should be at the top of the list. The legal end of things will take due course. Above all make sure your first priority is to not drink....an use SR or whatever else you can to keep that #1. If you can do that a lot of the other things will take care of themselves.

getright15

Very true...the beating myself up and wishing I did this or that is for sure eating me up.

thomas11

Hi getright, I believe I can understand where you are coming from, and believe me, you will be amazed at how tough and resilient you can be.

I have been at points in my life where I just wanted to throw in the towel, all i needed was someone to give me the damn towel. It didn't happen, I persevered and kept on going. Lived to tell the tale as they say. Keep the chin up my friend. Life gets better.

getright15

I appreciate the encouragement! All you guys are the best. I'm so nervous about everything but looking forward to going to my out patient treatment.

Alynn

I'm sorry getright. sincere change + doing the next right thing has really brought healing for my family and I.

OnMyWay7

Yep - been there and at times am still shaking my head. Hang in and one day at a time.