Tansy

Anyone got PTSD after living with active alcoholic and all it entails? Today someone told me they thought I was "mental" and that is why men I've met since splitting with exah go off me cos my life was so intense and they can't handle what I've turned into. ( it hurt my feelings btw) I looked up how I am at times ( usually alone tho) and PTSD comes up as a possibility.

Am bone weary with sorting myself out now. I feel like I take two steps forward and 4 back in my own recovery and just when I feel OK something else hits me smack in the face.

Liveitwell

I understand how you feel-you are not alone! Two steps forward are still better than standing still-at least you're moving in the right direction (sonething I still remind myself of all the time).

Hawkeye13

I think you have done a fantastic job dealing with a very over-the-top alcoholic and (it turns out) drug addict.

You seem to really link your self-esteem to what people say about you / how they treat you and my biggest suggestion
is that you disengage from what other people say to you or about you in favor of working on internal strength and knowledge
that you did (and are doing) the very best you can in a long-term tough situation.

You, Tansy, are a survivor and PTSD may indeed be something you're dealing with, but it was earned "honorably" by trying to help an addict and raise a family.

Nothing anybody says about you matters as much as cultivating a positive self-image based on the truth of your life as you have lived it.

You are a rock that your boys can rely on and trust.
Using what you've learned "in the trenches" of living with an alcoholic, you choose to help other people in your charity organization--
many people wouldn't get near a drunk after what you've been through, but you have the strength to reach out.

Who cares what some asshat who doesn't truly know what you've lived has to say in judgement of your life?

The only opinion here that matters is yours . . .

FeelingGreat

I think what you've done with the boys is amazing. Give yourself time to get over the trauma, and if your thoughts become obsessive or intrusive and it interferes with day-to-day life you might benefit from some therapy.

hopeful4

Raising hand. I was diagnosed with PTSD and General Anxiety during my divorce. Counseling helped a great deal, and so do the medications I am on. It is very mild and nothing I am going to be addicted to, so I am ok with that.

Hugs to you!

Tansy

Thanks for your replies. I am shocked at how fragile I feel. Exah detox corresponded with me losing a person I "thought" was a good friend but turned out to be lying to me. He actually has a girlfriend he swore was just a friend. Prior to her being on the scene we were very close. I steeled myself to block and delete him off social media and my phone today. I've done that but it's a hollow victory. I feel alone and devastated. I keep wondering why I can't read the lying signs.? Why I never pick up the fact I am being conned until it's way down the line? Why he still wanted me on the back burner as some sort of fall back friend? He texted me 50 times day to chat, make sure I was OK, tell me about his day etc and every single night since Christmas he has texted me good night even when he was at work . He must have liked me. Am never enough tho. All of this and exah detox and the ramifications for us as a family has been too much this week.