Ghosts31

I love the quote by Soberwolf about building up the sober muscles ... My question and I'm sure this has been asked is how long did it take for posters to develop these 'muscles' and feel comfortable going into situations where alcohol is the beverage of choice for most people? ... or if you were ever able to do this ?
I'm curious in part because I have several upcoming events planned with a large group of very good friends including an Oktoberfest in two Saturday's. I have went to this for the last 10 years and it is like a reunion,
I've been sober for 42 days and it has actually been easier than I've expected (outside of relationship issues and mending some past issues caused by alcohol abuse).
While it has been easier than I expected in most ways, I will admit I'm somewhat nervous about going to a beer drinking fest. At the same time I know I have to face society at some point.

Anna

It took me most of a year before I was comfortable going into situations where alcohol was present. And, I still choose to not be involved in anything that revolves around alcohol. It's a lifestyle choice for me.

damascus1986

id say around the same time for me about a year. spent alot of time working on my spiritual connection and the steps renforcing the idea that no drug under any circumstances is ok for me. I had to think of it as poisin. i really had to change how my mind workied and what my heart wanted. then i could pour wine for my grandma, pick up drinks for family or friends and not want it.

least

It took me about six months before I was comfortable around alcohol. And now over five years, I don't think of it at all.

firstymer

I am about 2 years sober. I just returned from a fly-in fishing trip with 6 other dads and our respective sons. Fishing was great. The rest of the trip was brutal. All of the dads, except for me, drank all day long. All night long. And some seemed a bit put-out that I wouldn't drink with them. I almost gave in on that trip. Other social situations, like dinner or drinks with friends, took me about a year before I could be comfortable.

42 days is kind of a tricky time. You are starting to feel like you might have a handle on things. But every once in a while you will experience a strong urge to drink. The urge will wash over you like a big ocean wave, out of nowhere. Be prepared for that. Think about what you will do when (not if, but when) that happens.

Good luck with your sober muscles. I hope you are body-builder strong soon.

Soberwolf

Hi & Thank you Ghosts i remember going to my lil neice's Christening at around 4 months there was a hall rented afterwards DJ alcohol etc

I stayed for around 1-2 hours and then made my way home


At 42 days I would suggest hanging back esp if it is a heavily alcohol related event

By building sober muscles it means while staying sober you work on what will keep
you sober...acceptance & learning about your alcoholism through such things as SR
AA, Smart, Lifering, AVRT, Recovery literature, Spirituality literature,

Inch by inch, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day we stay sober building sober muscles by having a recovery toolbelt equipped for events such as weddings, parties, christenings, cravings, urges, resentments, deaths, all sorts of occasions

Interaction is key in any recovery programme imo my interaction was simply listening for months at AA in the beginning listening to old timers listening to newcomers

Youl have realisation moments and I love these moments so much to think I was sitting in a car once shaking like a leaf and someone once saying to me your going to help ppl i was like nah dude you got the wrong man and he simply said we'l see

I can't explain things like that properly but yeah me writing this msg on a king sized bed which was once a flea ridden mattress on the floor I know by building sober muscles I was able to stay sober to do that

Better yet on my evening walk back with my dog an old friend whistled and roped me in to walking shop with him he said I never see you (duh) why don't you come out for a drink (he knows I don't drink double duh) he then twattled on about drink driving drugs ppl getting arrested and laughing (me and him were locked up once)

And I used my sober muscles to keep him at the front door and to tell him this isn't what I'm about and he was like yeah I keep forgetting

My point is I used 25 months worth of muscles to let him see who I am now and how I'm not about the world he's in

In short lol I suggest not going but 42 days is fantastic

N.B The whole sober muscles thing I got from our great mod Dee74 I extended on it (shout out to sober muscles D)

doggonecarl

At nine months sober I had to attend a wedding--my step son's. His father was there, my wife's ex-husband. Made me very uncomfortable and I was worried I'd drink. Didn't, but the discomfort about being around drinking at nine months was more than I would have guessed.

My suggestion--and take it for what it's worth--skip Oktoberfest and spare yourself a reunion with alcohol. See your friends at # 12.

Dee74

I stayed away from social events involving alcohol until I knew that nothing or noone could sway me.

I wanted to be sober, and I was actually coming to prefer being that way.

for me that point was about 5-6 months - it might sound an extraordinary long time but it seems the merest blip now.

I wasn't a hermit either - I went out and did things - movies picnics, whatever, all the time working up the degree of social difficulty, and working out those 'muscles' a little more

I've been to an Oktoberfest many times as a drinker....as a non drinker I know honestly I have no business being there because it's really all about drinking.

D