Spacegoat

It's like a sinking boat with a hole in each end. All my life I am scooping water out of one end while it's coming back in the other. Occasionally people have stopped and asked me what I am doing? I don't know actually. Some people have suggested I should go and polish somebody else's boat for a while and forget about my own, which I have done. But I still have to return to dredge my own. Others still would thrown an extra bucket of water in on top of me or P' in the boat while I'm not looking I'm sure. Some days it rains. I have tried to fix this boat a few times but when I spend time at one end trying to fix a hole, it's still coming in the other and I have to bail. I sit and watch the boat sinking sometimes. A lot. Heck I have even lay down in it prepared to sink but decided to get up and start bailing again at the last minute, many times. One thing I know is that I am tired. I didn't know I had a problem until I was in the middle of the lake and this boat started sinking rapidly. More recently I found out the boat was in this condition from the moment I set sail, as others have pointed out to me. I was had.



That's my life, the sinking boat. I've been meaning to post this for a while now as it's something that comes to me in the middle of the night.

Delfin

I'd get off the boat and swim for my life. There's always something you can do.

Know what I mean?

Delfin

Carver

Jump out and swim

It's not as far to shore as you think.

Soberella66

Watch The Life of Pi. It's the first thing I thought of when I read your post. A fable tale, yet it's incredibly inspiring.

IOAA2

Hi.

Boy can I identify!
In the beginning I needed to constantly, it seems, to repeat the Serenity Prayer and examine the words almost constantly:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

A lot of years later I still say it daily.

BE WELL

chicory

Agreed


Stratman.....what is the boat? Your family? Your home? Your situation? Your head?

Spacegoat

It's my entire life, chicory. No one aspect. That is the problem.

It has literally taken me several hours to compose this simple reply because I am suffering and have no energy whatsoever.

The analogy is extremely accurate. It comes to me visually and is a last ditch attempt to communicate with the world in the light of truth.

chicory

Stratman, if its everything, then some of those things can be changed. Where you live, who you let get into your head (family), etc.

think about what you can change, and try to think positively. Even a small change can bring hope and healing.

if you don't believe you can, and don't try, you won't . even some of the most successful people failed many times before finally making it.

ScottFromWI

And so is the solution. Our lives are not analogies....they are a series of events that can mostly be affected by OUR actions, not the past. Take action today to change one simple thing in your life for the better. That might be as simple as taking a walk instead of ruminating oven he past. Then do the same tomorrow...just one thing. You'll be very surprised how much can happen even in just a week.

Soberwolf

10,000% agree with Scott

courage2

Strat, I agree with Scott, too. Your life is not a sinking boat. It is exactly 100% what you are and have been and what you will be. There is no "other" life to go to. Work with what you are and what you have and most important what you *can* do to make it a manageable, a satisfying life.

Something people in recovery talk about -- I can't remember the exact phrase -- what you nourish is what grows. If you focus on the pain, it will overwhelm you. Is there a small spot of beauty or gratitude that you can start to attend to, just for a few minutes, once or twice a day?