emme99

Hello~ I had 67 sober days and messed up the evening of 8/9/15 into the morning of 8/10/15. My new day one is 8/11/15.

I am struggling tonight. I just got home from visiting my mom who is ill & not doing well and have been texting a friend all night who is very depressed and sometimes suicidal. He also is not doing well and he is not local so I can't go visit him and I am very worried.

I am really at the end of what I can take and I stopped at the store and bought alcohol on my way home. I hate myself for doing this. Why can't I be stronger?? During those 67 days I thought I had it under control. I was wrong. I don't know what to do. Thank you for listening.

Katie1985

Can you pour it out? It's not too late to make the safe choice for yourself. We're here to support you.

Coldfusion

We're here! The easiest thing to do is to dump the alcohol. Drinking will just lead to more problems.

Dee74

Hi emme

I'm sorry for all the worry but drinking is not going to help one bit.
I hope you pour the rest out.

Carers need to be taken care of too

If you don't have any real life support, what about posting here regularly again?

mech

Day 67? Awesome. I felt pretty good about now 10. This place is great.

escapist

Dee, that is a great advice. I owe my sobriety (almost 3 years ) to the support I found here. It does work. Emme99 , all I can say is I know what you are going through. Self loathing. Helplessness. I promise you that you do not live another day this way.

emme99

Thanks everyone. I probably do need to post here more. I also think I need to look into AA again even though I didn't like it before as I need some type of face to face support and therapy hasn't been enough. Thanks again for your support & responses.

countrysidegirl

Hi sorry to hear your struggling

What I'm learning and trying to do is put myself first and through this site and regular therapy for my bpd and alcoholism try and make myself better

I to have a friend who is very self absorbed and obsessed with her looks she is having Botox tomorrow and I do find her attitude hard at times and have often drank
maybe texting and talking to your friend made you so depressed you sought alcohol ? If I was in your situation I more than likely would buy drink too

Its essential in your recovery you can if possible avoid people and situations that cause you distress and drink

If your friend truly respects you they will understand and not lay all there trouble at your door or over the telephone

YOU HAVE TO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF now more than ever and sometimes closing doors temporarily if that what it takes for you to get well and sober

Good luck from charlotte

DitzyDandelion

How are you doing? Hugs I know it can be hard when people lean on you and you feel you don't have anywhere to lean. You know deep down a drink will make it feel worse not console you though.

sva777

Did you pour it out?

Lookingforchange

Drinking it will give you extra stress tomorrow. You will get back on track-go to bed and switch off instead. I've had to do that tonight

Anna

Emme, good for you for 67 days sober and I know you can get back at it. When I was in early recovery, I had to take a step back from a few of my family members who pushed my buttons one way or another. I just did not have the strength to deal with other stuff at that point. This is a time for you to be selfish and take care of you.

Hope2014

Emme, 67 days is fantastic! I know how you are feeling right now as I was there many times. The sooner you stop, the better. Please pour that bottle out. Think forward, not back.; you can't change what happened in the past, but you can choose what happens in the future. You had 67 days and you can do it again. Stick around here for support

Soberwolf

Emme sobriety brings so much good pls make a point of posting every day if possible take alcohol off the menu your a lot stronger than you think you are

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-help-you.html

please watch the video in the link