Katie1985

My alcoholism emerged two and half years ago. In that time I first tried to moderate. When that didn't work I tried to quit. When that didn't work I started drinking again. When that didn't work I tried to quit. When that didn't work I started drinking again. Lather, rinse, repeat. Insanity. A hamster wheel.

This insane hamster wheel has resulted in the acceptance and realization that I am an alcoholic and that I cannot drink. The interesting thing for me is that the past two and half years were like a time freeze in a lot of ways. The same issues coming up again and again without resolution.
Why are none of my dating situations panning out? Alcohol
Why am I feeling emotionally stuck? Alcohol
Why am I engaged in a cycle of self-destruction? Alcohol
Why do I feel like I'm staying stuck while people around me are moving forward? Alcohol

Alcohol. Always the common denominator. It has taken me two and half years to grasp this. I choose sobriety. I have stepped off the hamster wheel.

Madruski

You are definetly correct about the common denominator theory. People are busy moving forwards, whilst we are going around in circles trying to figure out what the problem is (whilst all along its in our glass)

escapist

Yes , you are right about being stuck. It's like your mind and spirit dies. When I went through my last drunk ( 4 years all day every day )I did nothing but maintain my supply of booze. No growth, dreams , or healing. You are on the right track. Really smart observation.
I am so happy for you and your decision to start moving again.

Katie1985

Thank you escapist. Something has clicked. I want to take hold of that and build upon it.