Can't curb the urge!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,533
Can't curb the urge!
Almost 2 years without a drink! Recently had a falling out with the inlaws and starting to question everything including my marriage. All I can think about is having a drink to escape and relax.... I'm meditating, reading my self help materials, remembering my last drunk and still find myself talking myself into it and I'm feeling very vulnerable. I do not participate in AA but I have the big book app if anyone has suggested readings. Please help me through this craving. I don't want to relapse but feeling that it is possible.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Well, drinking "at" your in-laws isn't going to fix the situation and isn't going to be beneficial in any way whatsoever.
Resentment is a pretty toxic thought to carry. Read the story in the back of the Big Book called "Freedom From Bondage."
It's not possible to change your in-laws but if they are difficult people, it is possible for you to limit your contact with them.
Can you keep busy? Clean out a drawer, take a walk, go to a thrift store, call a friend to meet for coffee.
Resentment is a pretty toxic thought to carry. Read the story in the back of the Big Book called "Freedom From Bondage."
It's not possible to change your in-laws but if they are difficult people, it is possible for you to limit your contact with them.
Can you keep busy? Clean out a drawer, take a walk, go to a thrift store, call a friend to meet for coffee.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Congratulations on 2 years of recovery. Good for you!
Don't allow your upset with your in-laws to take you down. I'm sure you've learned that you need to and know how to take care of yourself. Get out for a walk in the sunshine, call a friend, listen to some music, read a good book.
Don't allow your upset with your in-laws to take you down. I'm sure you've learned that you need to and know how to take care of yourself. Get out for a walk in the sunshine, call a friend, listen to some music, read a good book.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,697
Can you get rid of your inlaws?
I can't get rid of mine either
Go see a movie or take a walk. Funny thing is you are probably dwelling on this way more then they are.
Give yourself 15 minutes to worry about it it makes you feel better and just move on with your day.
Remember to stay sober today and check your HALT triggers.
When you have thought it all through just have the talk with them. Don't do it when your emotional. If the situation is constantly nagging you it's better to have the talk and ditch the drama sooner then later. I wish you the best!
I can't get rid of mine either
Go see a movie or take a walk. Funny thing is you are probably dwelling on this way more then they are.
Give yourself 15 minutes to worry about it it makes you feel better and just move on with your day.
Remember to stay sober today and check your HALT triggers.
When you have thought it all through just have the talk with them. Don't do it when your emotional. If the situation is constantly nagging you it's better to have the talk and ditch the drama sooner then later. I wish you the best!
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 562
It sounds like you want to bite off your nose to spite your face.....No one, absolutely nobody is worth drinking over. Go pamper yourself......either w a spa day out or a spa day in...GO for the whole nine yards. You'll feel terrific afterwards.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 630
Hi Sunshine!
Whatever you do, DON'T DRINK!
You will be stuck with the same in-law problem either way. Drinking won't solve anything.
If you drink you will feel like crap tomorrow, and when that wears off you will be bitterly disappointed with yourself. And who knows how long it will take to get back on track?
I had 14 months a few years back, and it took me SEVERAL YEARS to get back to sobriety.....
If you DON'T drink, you will build sober muscles....
You will get to your 2 years, and can celebrate your strength & success ! You will feel good about yourself and will find a better way to deal with the in-law problem.....
Take a deep breath, meditate or whatever you can do to calm yourself!
Whatever you do, DON'T DRINK!
You will be stuck with the same in-law problem either way. Drinking won't solve anything.
If you drink you will feel like crap tomorrow, and when that wears off you will be bitterly disappointed with yourself. And who knows how long it will take to get back on track?
I had 14 months a few years back, and it took me SEVERAL YEARS to get back to sobriety.....
If you DON'T drink, you will build sober muscles....
You will get to your 2 years, and can celebrate your strength & success ! You will feel good about yourself and will find a better way to deal with the in-law problem.....
Take a deep breath, meditate or whatever you can do to calm yourself!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
From someone on day 2...let me remind you how crummy it feels to be drunk and in early sobriety: I spent the better part of two-three days this week drinking. I was drinking to be numb. Instead, I lost those days of my life. Looking back over the last several years of my life, I have lost a lot of days to trying to be numb. I still have all that pain/anxiety/fear. Drinking didn't fix it. My skin is normally clear and wrinkle-free; today it looks splotchy and I look closer to my age than I would like. I am carrying around at least an extra 10 pounds because of my repeated binges (and the accompanying lack of exercise and poor eating). There are a lot of things on my "to do" list that don't get done and my "bucket list" goes ignored. I was able to compete in a relay triathlon today and ran an average pace that was respectable, but certainly not what I am capable of. Had I not been drinking too much off and on over the past month I'd have done better. I slept horribly last night.
I only tell you this stuff so you remember that drinking isn't all that great. Certainly not worth giving up 2 years of hard-earned sobriety. Keep meditating. As others have suggested, do something to distract yourself. And you know, I am really glad you posted here!
I only tell you this stuff so you remember that drinking isn't all that great. Certainly not worth giving up 2 years of hard-earned sobriety. Keep meditating. As others have suggested, do something to distract yourself. And you know, I am really glad you posted here!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Alcohol isn't going to fix anything Sunshine, in fact alcohol can make things worse.
2 Years is a long time, you've probably come up against these thoughts before and overcame them, have confidence in your own Sobriety, you didn't make 2 Years by chance or through luck, you've got some good Sober muscles built up, time to flex them.
Thoughts are only thoughts, get some fresh air, do something you like doing, get away from your in laws and enjoy your weekend!!
2 Years is a long time, you've probably come up against these thoughts before and overcame them, have confidence in your own Sobriety, you didn't make 2 Years by chance or through luck, you've got some good Sober muscles built up, time to flex them.
Thoughts are only thoughts, get some fresh air, do something you like doing, get away from your in laws and enjoy your weekend!!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 780
I relapsed after 13 months. I'm back to a little over a month now and all I can say is please don't put yourself through the turmoil I did. It's seriously not worth it. Back to AA for me and actually putting the work. I thought having a night off from being sober would be freeing instead it reiterated why I don't bloody want to drink. Ever again.
Stay strong and save yourself.
You can do it!
Stay strong and save yourself.
You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
Inch by inch is a cinch, yard by yard it’s hard. From early sobriety until this day a lot of years later I say the following at least several times a day to help me accept things I encounter and study the words.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.”
BE WELL
Inch by inch is a cinch, yard by yard it’s hard. From early sobriety until this day a lot of years later I say the following at least several times a day to help me accept things I encounter and study the words.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.”
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan USA
Posts: 184
I'm almost two years sober, and while I don't attend AA meetings with any regularity, I find an occasional meeting is helpful when urges do arise ( and they still do sometimes.) Just being back in that atmosphere, and hearing readings on acceptance, help to reinforce my sobriety.
Hope things are better for you..
Hope things are better for you..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Missoula, Montana
Posts: 164
I hear you on the inlaws. And I have the spouse to match them. I drank for years because I couldn't face the music on my own. All that did was make me feel like crap, waste a lot of money, hurt my children and myself. And still at the end of it all, I was still in the same place with the family situation that just didn't work. I wish I had been strong enough to end it all on my own. Instead, I wanted alcohol to hold my hand. Trouble was - it stole my soul. Not a single person in this world is worth you losing you for. Not one.
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