It has been 78 days.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
It has been 78 days.
Its true, its been 78 days since I've consumed any alcohol. Not any earth shattering news regarding my feelings etc... What I will share is that I know the hardest days are not behind me, but rather ahead of me. The reason I feel this way is because summer is our busy season, there is literally always something to do. Even Saturday's are work days a couple times a month. The other thing is that my therapy, Dr's appointments and all the fun stuff that goes along with my current condition eats up alot of free time. I have had quite a bit of "office time" because I am unable to physically work with the crew. But with modern technology we've developed a system where I can run a job via smartphones. So I am on-site 2-6 hrs per day.
I believe the hard days are ahead of me is because once I get healthy, I will be back working full time (slowly but surely) and my drinking was based on a reward system. So my AV will be screaming at me that I deserve to unwind. It will also be telling me that its time to celebrate my new-found freedom, my birthday is coming up, and whatever else may come along. All of these things will occur in the next 30 days. I really don't want the sobriety pyramid I am building to come crashing down.
I believe the hard days are ahead of me is because once I get healthy, I will be back working full time (slowly but surely) and my drinking was based on a reward system. So my AV will be screaming at me that I deserve to unwind. It will also be telling me that its time to celebrate my new-found freedom, my birthday is coming up, and whatever else may come along. All of these things will occur in the next 30 days. I really don't want the sobriety pyramid I am building to come crashing down.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Hey, Jeff --
First, congrats on 78 days! That is an accomplishment to be proud of.
It's good to be mindful and start looking at preventive strategies. When circumstances are stacked together, they can seem overwhelming. I've found that when they're separated, they don't seem as daunting (or insurmountable). How 'bout looking at it this way:
The reason I feel this way is because summer is our busy season, there is literally always something to do.
I took this to mean that as summer begins winding down, you're going to have more free time. Is that correct? Start thinking now about scheduling yourself. What are fun things that you can do during free time? What about taking Mrs. Jeff and the pup for day trips. The Wisconsin side of the Mississippi, Taylors Falls, Afton. The list goes on.
So my AV will be screaming at me that I deserve to unwind.
Anyone who works in seasonal overdrive probably feels that way. Most of them don't drink to unwind. Folks like us? We can't.
Start thinking now about things you'd like to do once your body is healed. Is there a hobby you've wanted to pursue? We're pretty blessed in these parts with nice parks. How about planning ahead for enjoying them as part of your downtime?
It will also be telling me that its time to celebrate my new-found freedom, my birthday is coming up, and whatever else may come along.
You deserve much better than anything in a bottle.
You've come so far. Those of us who've watched you grow in the last couple months have seen real change underway.
Soberclover made a good point. Think positive. Play the tape forward in a healthy way -- envision the guy who has a new lease on life.
Because that's who you are.
First, congrats on 78 days! That is an accomplishment to be proud of.
It's good to be mindful and start looking at preventive strategies. When circumstances are stacked together, they can seem overwhelming. I've found that when they're separated, they don't seem as daunting (or insurmountable). How 'bout looking at it this way:
The reason I feel this way is because summer is our busy season, there is literally always something to do.
I took this to mean that as summer begins winding down, you're going to have more free time. Is that correct? Start thinking now about scheduling yourself. What are fun things that you can do during free time? What about taking Mrs. Jeff and the pup for day trips. The Wisconsin side of the Mississippi, Taylors Falls, Afton. The list goes on.
So my AV will be screaming at me that I deserve to unwind.
Anyone who works in seasonal overdrive probably feels that way. Most of them don't drink to unwind. Folks like us? We can't.
Start thinking now about things you'd like to do once your body is healed. Is there a hobby you've wanted to pursue? We're pretty blessed in these parts with nice parks. How about planning ahead for enjoying them as part of your downtime?
It will also be telling me that its time to celebrate my new-found freedom, my birthday is coming up, and whatever else may come along.
You deserve much better than anything in a bottle.
You've come so far. Those of us who've watched you grow in the last couple months have seen real change underway.
Soberclover made a good point. Think positive. Play the tape forward in a healthy way -- envision the guy who has a new lease on life.
Because that's who you are.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Your post reminded me of something I've been meaning to share on SR.
Recently, I began going to Pilates class again, this after many years of not doing it. (Yes, hangovers and Pilates don't mix.)
The instructor has us do something that's quite interesting and, I think, is a helpful metaphor and tool for recovery.
We lie on our backs with small weights at our sides. (Mine are small -- two or three pounds each.) We stretch our arms out to each side, with a weight in each hand and then lift them so the weights in our hands come together, then return them outstretched to our sides.
We do this a few times and then let go of the weight on one side. Then, we repeat the exercise, lifting one empty hand up to meet the other hand holding the weight. We do that a few times and then switch hands.
It's a very unsettling exercise. It's almost like a physical expression of life out of balance.
We conclude by returning to the bilateral exercise -- a weight in each hand. It's an amazing experience to restore balance.
I've found myself concentrating on the feeling I experience when balance is restored. It's a sensation I work hard to remember so that I can bring it to mind when life feels out of balance.
It's an easy maneuver, one that doesn't require a gym or a teacher. Just a floor and a couple of weights.
Building the memory of balance restored has proven helpful to me in other parts of my life.
Give it a try. Hopefully, you'll find it as helpful as I do.
Recently, I began going to Pilates class again, this after many years of not doing it. (Yes, hangovers and Pilates don't mix.)
The instructor has us do something that's quite interesting and, I think, is a helpful metaphor and tool for recovery.
We lie on our backs with small weights at our sides. (Mine are small -- two or three pounds each.) We stretch our arms out to each side, with a weight in each hand and then lift them so the weights in our hands come together, then return them outstretched to our sides.
We do this a few times and then let go of the weight on one side. Then, we repeat the exercise, lifting one empty hand up to meet the other hand holding the weight. We do that a few times and then switch hands.
It's a very unsettling exercise. It's almost like a physical expression of life out of balance.
We conclude by returning to the bilateral exercise -- a weight in each hand. It's an amazing experience to restore balance.
I've found myself concentrating on the feeling I experience when balance is restored. It's a sensation I work hard to remember so that I can bring it to mind when life feels out of balance.
It's an easy maneuver, one that doesn't require a gym or a teacher. Just a floor and a couple of weights.
Building the memory of balance restored has proven helpful to me in other parts of my life.
Give it a try. Hopefully, you'll find it as helpful as I do.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Congrats on 78
I define the AV as any thought of future alcohol use. No matter how immediate or remote the particular future. "Aw, eff it just go buy a six pack" to "its vacation, so it's kind of like a universal timeout, if a slip up happens who would really blame you". The best defense , is to recognize the thought or feeling and promptly dis miss it. Drinking is off the table as an option, period so any thoughts about drinking are just, thoughts that I have decided, irrevocablely, will not be acted upon. Starving out the AV has quieted it , and with time it practically disappears.
It's calling you right now, presenting scenarios that seem as if they will shake your resolve.
Recognize them right now and squash them, stay present and resolved , meet those doubts with positivity, you got this. The only one/ or thing trying to convince you otherwise , is the AV. I mentioned you got this , right? Keep truckin
I define the AV as any thought of future alcohol use. No matter how immediate or remote the particular future. "Aw, eff it just go buy a six pack" to "its vacation, so it's kind of like a universal timeout, if a slip up happens who would really blame you". The best defense , is to recognize the thought or feeling and promptly dis miss it. Drinking is off the table as an option, period so any thoughts about drinking are just, thoughts that I have decided, irrevocablely, will not be acted upon. Starving out the AV has quieted it , and with time it practically disappears.
It's calling you right now, presenting scenarios that seem as if they will shake your resolve.
Recognize them right now and squash them, stay present and resolved , meet those doubts with positivity, you got this. The only one/ or thing trying to convince you otherwise , is the AV. I mentioned you got this , right? Keep truckin
SD 7/3/15 SRJD 7/14/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 316
Jeff, I don't know you as well as some of the others, but have enjoyed following your posts and your journey through the last couple months.
Some great support and suggestions here, you've earned yourself quite an SR support system it seems, so keep them close.
Congrats on the 78 days total, and keep healing.
Some great support and suggestions here, you've earned yourself quite an SR support system it seems, so keep them close.
Congrats on the 78 days total, and keep healing.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
You are right! The toughest days are behind you. Only 12 more days until you hit the 90 day mark which for me and a lot of other recovering alcoholics was/is a real significant milestone. At day 90, the cravings were all but gone and the mental obsession had diminished greatly. It was smooth sailing for me once I hit that mark. So happy for you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Hey,
I can really relate to everything you're saying and that first year sure is tough with all of the firsts. First bday, Christmas, summer....
This is where the "one day at a time" thing really helped me a lot. Don't think about your birthday yet. Just think about tomorrow. You already know what to do with your 78 days (congratulations on those!).
I really didn't think I was going to make it through last Christmas but I did day by day, one day at a time. You can make it through too. You already know what drinking gives you and I'm sure you don't want that crap again. I sure don't!
I can really relate to everything you're saying and that first year sure is tough with all of the firsts. First bday, Christmas, summer....
This is where the "one day at a time" thing really helped me a lot. Don't think about your birthday yet. Just think about tomorrow. You already know what to do with your 78 days (congratulations on those!).
I really didn't think I was going to make it through last Christmas but I did day by day, one day at a time. You can make it through too. You already know what drinking gives you and I'm sure you don't want that crap again. I sure don't!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Jeff,
Congrats on 78 days!! There's some really great advice above.
It's very smart to identify future challenges. Looks like a lot of them are award based, is there something g that gives you happiness that you can reward yourself with? I am bad about rewarding myself with ice cream. So I have tori d other avenues.
sometimes it's a video game if you're into that. Sometimes it's an hour with a cheesy/guilty pleasure book (my mil loves ridiculous romance novels) or tv show. Whatever it happens to be, it's way better for you than beer.
I've noticed a seasonality to my drinking thoughts, or nowadays thoughts that could lead to drinking thoughts. Fall is tough for me. The days getting shorter really affect me, I'm just starting to notice it this year. So I start spending a lot more time on sr. Reading, being helpful where you can, etc. are all helpful to stay away from the drink.
You've got this
Congrats on 78 days!! There's some really great advice above.
It's very smart to identify future challenges. Looks like a lot of them are award based, is there something g that gives you happiness that you can reward yourself with? I am bad about rewarding myself with ice cream. So I have tori d other avenues.
sometimes it's a video game if you're into that. Sometimes it's an hour with a cheesy/guilty pleasure book (my mil loves ridiculous romance novels) or tv show. Whatever it happens to be, it's way better for you than beer. I've noticed a seasonality to my drinking thoughts, or nowadays thoughts that could lead to drinking thoughts
. Fall is tough for me. The days getting shorter really affect me, I'm just starting to notice it this year. So I start spending a lot more time on sr. Reading, being helpful where you can, etc. are all helpful to stay away from the drink. You've got this
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 562
Congrats on 78 days Jeff ...... I have a lot of free time and I exercise,read a lot and take myself out to lunch less than Id like but my funds are short. I'm focusing on stuff I have not caught up w yet and all of is self improvement and reduces my anxiety.....which lessens my tendency to gravitate towards alcohol. I also take my meds and my vitamins. I guess you could call it part of my program. It's good that your being mindful of the future and sounds like your planning for it. Good work!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Jeff I don't buy your argument, it's not your's, it's AV's. You know I run a business too?
Your AV is telling you that you can survive this major accident, that you can survive helping yourself to get upright and walking, having physical therapy, taking medication for your recovery but that you can't go back to work and do a day's hard yakker without a drink.
Bull.
I call your AV on feeding you a line of rubbish. And I dare to call you. You will deserve to unwind after a hard day's work but it will be with something that isn't alcohol.
So what will it be?
Your AV is telling you that you can survive this major accident, that you can survive helping yourself to get upright and walking, having physical therapy, taking medication for your recovery but that you can't go back to work and do a day's hard yakker without a drink.
Bull.
I call your AV on feeding you a line of rubbish. And I dare to call you. You will deserve to unwind after a hard day's work but it will be with something that isn't alcohol.
So what will it be?
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Congrats on 78 days. Building a good foundation like you've been doing is helping to ensure that your recovery won't come crashing down as situations change. You're on the right track, my friend. Keep on keeping on.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Somewhere on the East Coast
Posts: 579
Hey there,
Just wanted to say that I understand what you're saying. I'm at 70-something days since my sobriety days myself, and I worry about the next month. I worry about it all the time. Just trying to remember to take it one day at a time and some days I take it one hour at a time.
Congrats on 78 days. Its tough, but its worth it.
Just wanted to say that I understand what you're saying. I'm at 70-something days since my sobriety days myself, and I worry about the next month. I worry about it all the time. Just trying to remember to take it one day at a time and some days I take it one hour at a time.
Congrats on 78 days. Its tough, but its worth it.
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