Self-sabotage
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 397
Self-sabotage
I have this tendency for self-sabotage, or shooting myself in the foot. I've been this way since my teenage years. When things get going well, it starts feeling like they're going to well. Then I feel guilty, like somehow it's too easy and I don't deserve this good luck. Then wham! Self-sabotage.
I've sabotaged relationships, embarrassed myself publicly(more than once), ticked everyone off, offended people, humiliated myself, the list goes on. More generously (and for the sake of humor), I try to look at it like I beat to my own drum. Not everyone sees it this way.
Success breeds discontent, from others. I don't know if sub-consciously I'm pleasing the haters, or if I just don't like the spotlight, or can't take the heat (no, I can take the heat). It was almost a survival technique, and I still deal with the aftermath of these mishaps.
I believe people make mistakes, and I try to keep a sense of humor. Not everyone is like this, and many secretly take delight in our misfortunes (though they'd never admit it).
It's important to know who your friends are. And it's time to start looking after A#1.
Anyone relate to this? I've never spoken of this, and I've got an aching desire to spill it. Thx
I've sabotaged relationships, embarrassed myself publicly(more than once), ticked everyone off, offended people, humiliated myself, the list goes on. More generously (and for the sake of humor), I try to look at it like I beat to my own drum. Not everyone sees it this way.
Success breeds discontent, from others. I don't know if sub-consciously I'm pleasing the haters, or if I just don't like the spotlight, or can't take the heat (no, I can take the heat). It was almost a survival technique, and I still deal with the aftermath of these mishaps.
I believe people make mistakes, and I try to keep a sense of humor. Not everyone is like this, and many secretly take delight in our misfortunes (though they'd never admit it).
It's important to know who your friends are. And it's time to start looking after A#1.
Anyone relate to this? I've never spoken of this, and I've got an aching desire to spill it. Thx
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
Do you self sabotage yourself by getting drunk or blacking out? I think I understand where your coming from though. Your success breeds jealousy (so you think)in others so you put yourself down.
This is common in people with self esteem problems or depression, I know cause I to suffered from depression. One thing that makes it so much worse is booze. You can't fix the problem until you decide to put it down for good.
A good therapist would be the top priority as well as quitting drinking, if you haven't already quit.
This is common in people with self esteem problems or depression, I know cause I to suffered from depression. One thing that makes it so much worse is booze. You can't fix the problem until you decide to put it down for good.
A good therapist would be the top priority as well as quitting drinking, if you haven't already quit.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
I can relate. I remember my first marriage, he totally loved me more than 100%, and was there for me in a way I never expected in life, to the point I didn't believe it was true. I did various things to hurt him, and sabotage myself / us. At the time I rationalized it as I'm just "testing" him to ensure it's genuine, but in hindsight, that was just me being an a$$hole.
Good post, thanks. Gave me something to think about.
Good post, thanks. Gave me something to think about.
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