Silver11

went on vacation... there was this amazing bar. i drank. a lot.
hungover now and drinking again.

man...

i just don't know. been through this 1 million times.

i start over again tomorrow. my sleep is all haywire from the last anxiety attack i had when i drank.

and i still drank again. sometimes i don't know if this is a fight i can win.

never the less, i start again.

thanks

Sharon5

I am starting again after 105 days! Let's do this!

Dee74

Hi Drash

As long as you never give up you can never lose...

but now's the time for action - the longer you go on drinking the harder it's going to be.

Today, not tomorrow - start over now. Why wait to start your new life?

RogerD

67 days. 105 days. I have never made it past 26. So, I find your partial success very inspirational. Get back on the wagon and try again. You can succeed.

Soberwolf

Have you got a plan Drash

IOAA2

Hi.
I can identify with relapses as I did them too long with some bad results. In my case it was my escape route from the reality of life on lifes terms and I was determined to get sober my way which was always a failure because of really wanting to drink than be sober.

When the inner pain and misery became overwhelming I sought help and then the work began.
A lot of years later I can say it’s great to feel comfortable in my own skin most of the time as one of the benefits.

BE WELL

nyala

Hello Drash, Sharon,

This might sound weird, but I wanted to say thanks you to you both for helping me today.

I'm on day 65 and just starting to think (wrongly) that I have this thing licked. I had a bizarre wobble yesterday which took me completely by surprise.

I also have a night out looming in a few weeks, which (between you and me and the rest of SR ) I am now quietly resolving to not attend. It seems too risky, after what happened to you guys.

Well done for bouncing back and thanks again.



We have to do this for ourselves and no-one else

Silver11

dear all,

i have no plan. I've been a part of aa for a while. didn't work. i have deep respect for aa and the people who run it. they welcome me with open arms..

it just doesn't click for me. i just couldn't get through the steps. i guess I'm one of the hopeless ones.

i kid.

i meant when i said I've been through this millions of times. I've been binge drinking 20 years. I'm almost 39.

i really thought the last 67 days were going to be forever. (haha)

when I'm in a nice place (I'm talking 5 star bar) , and on vacation. and your wife says 'don't drink too much'.

****.

Thats permission to get ******.

and thats what happened.

starting over for the millionth time.

IOAA2

"it just doesn't click for me. i just couldn't get through the steps. i guess I'm one of the hopeless ones."

Well you’re not unique as something like the steps are scary when we’re new because we don’t like changes they imply. Those steps are practiced by successful alcoholics on a daily basis for recovery to be more secure.
When my misery became strong enough I embraced them and have for many sober years. As the expression goes “It works if we work it.” for many millions.

BE WELL

D122y

Day 92..almost 93...www.timeanddate.com...


I feel exactly what you all are talking about.

Working the steps as best I know...

I am not in control...1daat. Ghm.

I hate booze. Fighting for my life.

This is like an aa meeting...minus the drive, time, and coffee.

I imagine being in the same room w others is also helpful....thoughts?

But, the honest feedback here would seem to be so much better thought out and articulated because of the lack of the stresses of speaking in public...

nyala

I've been binge drinking for over 30 years. I'm almost 49

No way to I want to add another 10 to either of those numbers.

As I understand it ( and have experienced it ) alcoholism is a progressive disease. Therefore, I ask myself every day " Is it a great idea to drink today ...? ".

D122y - Good point about being in the same room. I feel able to walk in at anytime and know I will get support, or be able to try to give support.

It's like AA with a smaller carbon footprint

mecanix

The comeback to this is , " you forget, i gave up" .

If it's 5* , if it's a back alley dive , if i'm at home with the curtains drawn , alcohol is just the pits and i'm better off just doing something else y'know .

The question, shall i have a drink or not doesn't magically disapear but i can ensure that i don't have to ask myself it very often . When and if i do, i work hard to make sure the answer is a resolute No , can't be bothered experiencing that kinda self induced misery again .

sobriety is worth it , keep on ,

m

Mountainmanbob

I have not seen an amazing bar while sober.

We should not entertain the thought of drinking.

MM

Zufrieden

Thanks Fradley.
We are the same age. What struck me reading your response is that at 39 I could have quit as I am now doing almost ten years later..... And it would have been such a better ten years. I'm sure there are folks here feeling the same at 59, 79 etc...: the time absolutely flies... but we don't have to take drinks along.
It has to stop sometime. The sooner for each of us the better.
Jonathan

thomas11

Its a fight you can win. Millions have done it. I am a strong believer that as long as you keep trying you have a chance. When you stop trying is when the real danger begins. For me personally the withdrawal and anxiety attack(s) made me change my ways immediately, but still didn't quit entirely. Now I have quit, its been like 70 some days. Good luck man.

Ileana

Drash,- on 1 million and first time that I quit, I made it. That was 7 years and 10 days ago. Don't stop trying.

Hevyn

I have 7+ years too, Drash - after drinking for a lifetime. We know you can do it this time. You sound ready.

RustyBanjo

Soooo been there a million times too, Drash. I'm 40 in a month and on day 3. I'm in no position to give advice, as I'm in the life raft with you, but I can relate.

sophia1

you can do this i remember when i finally put myself in a out patient program and i relasped and my mentor told me relapse is part of recovery i thought... Really??.... this is going to be easier than i thought but i was only fooling myself with that stinking thinking and didnt understand what exactly they meant by that ...How could relapse be a part of recovery but now i know that it is just that Just because we stumble and fall down doesent me we stay there ..We get up and brush ourselves off and try it again and we keep on keeping on until we get it right

skipper123

i too wish i could have quit ten years ago i am 47. i know my last ten years would have been so different in a good way. would have gotten out of a bad marriage much sooner. good luck to you !!!