week 3 musings
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 11
week 3 musings
So I've passed my second weekend without drinking, which is good.
Feeling slightly more anxious than usual Sunday evening/this morning, not sure if that's related to withdrawals. I'm not sure withdrawals are even a thing with my usual weekend binge drinking type cycle?
Had some stronger cravings this weekend, went to a outdoors event and it seemed like everyone was drinking champers in the sun! Although I tried to be rational and think well not everyone is drinking, even the people I was with only had a couple of drinks then stopped. I still find that hard to comprehend, stopping drinking before being completely paralytic seems to be a easy thing for most people. No-one at the event was a mess like I would usually be, so I thought to myself wow I really am "that guy" usually. I had a couple of cold non-alcoholic beers ready which took the edge off and helped distract me, tried to think would I really enjoy this more drinking? I won't be hungover or embarrassed tomorrow, would I really be more lively or fun?
I think there's a real OCD component to my drinking as I feel like I always need to be drinking some kind of fluid and drink it fast. Never have a hard time getting my 2 litres of water a day.
Strangely I find myself fantasizing about some kind of dramatic life change where its all of a sudden OK to drink again, or I can magically drink like a normal person and it will be ok.
But I will not be drinking today at any rate.
Feeling slightly more anxious than usual Sunday evening/this morning, not sure if that's related to withdrawals. I'm not sure withdrawals are even a thing with my usual weekend binge drinking type cycle?
Had some stronger cravings this weekend, went to a outdoors event and it seemed like everyone was drinking champers in the sun! Although I tried to be rational and think well not everyone is drinking, even the people I was with only had a couple of drinks then stopped. I still find that hard to comprehend, stopping drinking before being completely paralytic seems to be a easy thing for most people. No-one at the event was a mess like I would usually be, so I thought to myself wow I really am "that guy" usually. I had a couple of cold non-alcoholic beers ready which took the edge off and helped distract me, tried to think would I really enjoy this more drinking? I won't be hungover or embarrassed tomorrow, would I really be more lively or fun?
I think there's a real OCD component to my drinking as I feel like I always need to be drinking some kind of fluid and drink it fast. Never have a hard time getting my 2 litres of water a day.
Strangely I find myself fantasizing about some kind of dramatic life change where its all of a sudden OK to drink again, or I can magically drink like a normal person and it will be ok.
But I will not be drinking today at any rate.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Originally Posted by upontheroof 
Had some stronger cravings this weekend, went to a outdoors event and it seemed like everyone was drinking champers in the sun! Although I tried to be rational and think well not everyone is drinking, even the people I was with only had a couple of drinks then stopped. I still find that hard to comprehend, stopping drinking before being completely paralytic seems to be a easy thing for most people. No-one at the event was a mess like I would usually be, so I thought to myself wow I really am "that guy" usually.
Really good thinking here and good observations. I found the same thing when I stopped. Nobody I know drinks more than a few and they are totally satisfied, not even thinking about it. These kind of observations helped me to accept that I am just different than other people with alcohol. Their drinking doesn't even resemble my drinking, so it's not like everyone is drinking like I used to.
I had that magical thinking that someday it might be different but I sure proved to myself many, many times that it wouldn't. I always wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober once I had that first one. The saying is totally true "It's the first drink that gets you drunk."
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers
Hey Upon,
Really good thinking here and good observations. I found the same thing when I stopped. Nobody I know drinks more than a few and they are totally satisfied, not even thinking about it. These kind of observations helped me to accept that I am just different than other people with alcohol. Their drinking doesn't even resemble my drinking, so it's not like everyone is drinking like I used to.
I had that magical thinking that someday it might be different but I sure proved to myself many, many times that it wouldn't. I always wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober once I had that first one. The saying is totally true "It's the first drink that gets you drunk."
Really good thinking here and good observations. I found the same thing when I stopped. Nobody I know drinks more than a few and they are totally satisfied, not even thinking about it. These kind of observations helped me to accept that I am just different than other people with alcohol. Their drinking doesn't even resemble my drinking, so it's not like everyone is drinking like I used to.
I had that magical thinking that someday it might be different but I sure proved to myself many, many times that it wouldn't. I always wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober once I had that first one. The saying is totally true "It's the first drink that gets you drunk."
I was uneducated about alcohol Kindle. ...and alcohol PAWS...
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