Trying Again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 54
Trying Again
Hi. I've been dealing with my drinking for about the last five years. I started drinking more heavily in my early 30s, realized it was become a problem about five years ago, and have been on the yo-yo of trying to moderate my drinking since then. I turn 40 in a month.
I've tried the only drinking on weekends rule, only when out with friends, only at special events, etc. and it always slipped back into drinking every night and binge drinking on the weekends. I do all the things those tests ask to figure out whether you have a problem -- I've hid booze in the house, I have anxiety about planning my drinking and getting enough. When I buy beer I pay attention to the alcohol content and buy the highest %.
I'm so exhausted and am ready to move on from drinking being such a large issue in my life. I've had quite a few days I've circled as "day one" to stop drinking -- none have stuck. It feels futile, but I don't want it to be. Reading a lot of the posts here helps -- glad to be here.
Rusty
I've tried the only drinking on weekends rule, only when out with friends, only at special events, etc. and it always slipped back into drinking every night and binge drinking on the weekends. I do all the things those tests ask to figure out whether you have a problem -- I've hid booze in the house, I have anxiety about planning my drinking and getting enough. When I buy beer I pay attention to the alcohol content and buy the highest %.
I'm so exhausted and am ready to move on from drinking being such a large issue in my life. I've had quite a few days I've circled as "day one" to stop drinking -- none have stuck. It feels futile, but I don't want it to be. Reading a lot of the posts here helps -- glad to be here.
Rusty
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Welcome to SR, RustyBanjo. I turn 41 in a week and have tried all of those same methods myself before. I'm celebrating three months sober today and owe it all to active participation here on SR. Jump right in--ask for help when you need it, help others when you can, laugh when there is something to laugh about, be serious when the moment is serious. This is a great place full of great people who are here 24/7. I encourage you to take full advantage of it. This is such a better way of life than the one I'd been living swimming in booze for most of the last 16 years.
Wishing you the best today! Hope to see you posting often.
Wishing you the best today! Hope to see you posting often.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 360
Welcome, RustyBanjo.
I tried a lot of methods and programs as well, but at the end of the day I realized that it was up to me. I had the power to not walk through the doors of the liquor store, and that's all there was to it. No amount of motivation or safety net was going to change that fact.
Every time you say no, you'll get a little bit stronger. Every major event you go through in life without alcohol will dissolve those triggers, bit by bit. If you stop reinforcing the triggers and habits, one day you'll go a whole day and suddenly realize that alcohol never crossed your mind.
I tried a lot of methods and programs as well, but at the end of the day I realized that it was up to me. I had the power to not walk through the doors of the liquor store, and that's all there was to it. No amount of motivation or safety net was going to change that fact.
Every time you say no, you'll get a little bit stronger. Every major event you go through in life without alcohol will dissolve those triggers, bit by bit. If you stop reinforcing the triggers and habits, one day you'll go a whole day and suddenly realize that alcohol never crossed your mind.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Welcome,
By the end of my drinking days, I was exhausted from constantly being vigilant (I hid my drinking) and from always make sure there was enough alcohol hidden away. It as such a relief to stop drinking and let go of the obsessive thoughts.
By the end of my drinking days, I was exhausted from constantly being vigilant (I hid my drinking) and from always make sure there was enough alcohol hidden away. It as such a relief to stop drinking and let go of the obsessive thoughts.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Welcome, Rusty!
I'm 70 and have had several fairly lengthy episodes of drinking alcoholically. This last time I've had relapse after relapse. I had to keep on adding tools and I finally hit a year yesterday :-). You can do this though it will likely take a lot of dedication. Many of the people I've met here changed their lives in order to minimize the risk of relapse. Many have avoided places/situations where they thought they might be tempted to drink. This does take thought and effort and can be done.
I'm 70 and have had several fairly lengthy episodes of drinking alcoholically. This last time I've had relapse after relapse. I had to keep on adding tools and I finally hit a year yesterday :-). You can do this though it will likely take a lot of dedication. Many of the people I've met here changed their lives in order to minimize the risk of relapse. Many have avoided places/situations where they thought they might be tempted to drink. This does take thought and effort and can be done.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and welcome.
I can identify with moderation and controlled drinking and for me it lasted for a couple of days and then returned in full fury.
After much resistance I turned to where the “professional” drinkers assembled after they finally gave it up.
I didn’t like a lot of what they had to say though they did seem to know of what they spoke. Like if we don’t pick up the first drink one day at a time in a row we won’t have to TRY to get sober AGAIN. The softest easiest way isn’t as it usually ends in a miserable situation.
Sit down, stopping drinking is the easiest part, staying stopped is where the work is because we need to change ourselves to achieve recovery. That’s when it gets better and better.
BE WELL
I can identify with moderation and controlled drinking and for me it lasted for a couple of days and then returned in full fury.
After much resistance I turned to where the “professional” drinkers assembled after they finally gave it up.
I didn’t like a lot of what they had to say though they did seem to know of what they spoke. Like if we don’t pick up the first drink one day at a time in a row we won’t have to TRY to get sober AGAIN. The softest easiest way isn’t as it usually ends in a miserable situation.
Sit down, stopping drinking is the easiest part, staying stopped is where the work is because we need to change ourselves to achieve recovery. That’s when it gets better and better.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,413
Welcome to the SR Family.
Here is a like that will really help to get information on recovery plans and coping methods, etc.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Here is a like that will really help to get information on recovery plans and coping methods, etc.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 161
Originally Posted by RustyBanjo 
Hi. I've been dealing with my drinking for about the last five years. I started drinking more heavily in my early 30s, realized it was become a problem about five years ago, and have been on the yo-yo of trying to moderate my drinking since then. I turn 40 in a month.
I've tried the only drinking on weekends rule, only when out with friends, only at special events, etc. and it always slipped back into drinking every night and binge drinking on the weekends. I do all the things those tests ask to figure out whether you have a problem -- I've hid booze in the house, I have anxiety about planning my drinking and getting enough. When I buy beer I pay attention to the alcohol content and buy the highest %.
I'm so exhausted and am ready to move on from drinking being such a large issue in my life. I've had quite a few days I've circled as "day one" to stop drinking -- none have stuck. It feels futile, but I don't want it to be. Reading a lot of the posts here helps -- glad to be here.
Rusty
I've tried the only drinking on weekends rule, only when out with friends, only at special events, etc. and it always slipped back into drinking every night and binge drinking on the weekends. I do all the things those tests ask to figure out whether you have a problem -- I've hid booze in the house, I have anxiety about planning my drinking and getting enough. When I buy beer I pay attention to the alcohol content and buy the highest %.
I'm so exhausted and am ready to move on from drinking being such a large issue in my life. I've had quite a few days I've circled as "day one" to stop drinking -- none have stuck. It feels futile, but I don't want it to be. Reading a lot of the posts here helps -- glad to be here.
Rusty
"1dayaddatime"
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi Rusty, good job on making a decision that may help you from destroying your life. Read enough posts on this site and you will s ee what possibly awaits you in another 5-15 years. You will find a lot of support here, and some very wise people can provide you with great insight. It does require effort on your end, but you can do it. Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: usa
Posts: 274
welcome! I am 47 and wish I had started this journey earlier but I always say better late than never. this site will help you a lot I have never been able to go this long without a drink -43 days I think. I keep track on my calendar but don't look at it everyday. as far as temptation I just try my best to not go anywhere near the wine section at the grocery store. been staying in a lot which is not a bad thing saves me money and I am getting soooo much done around the house that I was always to drunk or hung over to do. Good Luck !!!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Great to meet you RustyB. You found a good place for encouragement as you leave your drinking life behind. 
I had the same experience - tried everything to be able to keep drinking socially. Nothing ever worked. I'm not sure why I held on to it - I was miserable and exhausted too. It was a relief to get free. You can do it.
I had the same experience - tried everything to be able to keep drinking socially. Nothing ever worked. I'm not sure why I held on to it - I was miserable and exhausted too. It was a relief to get free. You can do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 54
Wow - thank you all for the responses and warm welcome. So nice to have other folks to "talk" to through these boards who understand. I was invited to a BBQ party this afternoon that I'm skipping since I know there will be lots of drinking and I don't want to be in that situation. Going to go lift weights instead.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Rusty, that sounds like a good plan to skip the BBQ today. Later you can always revisit that choice when you feel solidly sober. Some of us continue to avoid those situations, others not, still others some of the time - whatever works for you.
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