mary2788

I was at another meeting this evening… and The woman who spoke spoke about how AA is based on principals and not on your emotions.

I don't get it sine I started drinking to escape my feelings it is obviously something that needs to be addressed??

Retread1959

She said it's "based" on principles. In other words, principles are the foundation that it's built on. The 12 steps are meant to address all that emotional stuff, so you will certainly have a lot of that in AA as well.

Rio97

I think it's actually principals before personalities. I think what it means is the principals sets forth by the program are more important than the different personalities in the group. I'm no expert on this topic though.

Saskia

Mary, my impression after quite a few meetings is that AA is indeed based on principles. It works for the varying size groups. If people tried to work through their emotions in AA meetings those meetings would last forever! By sticking to clearly defined principles, AA is easy to follow and it does work for many. Some people aren't willing to work on their emotions. Personally I find emotional work to be incredibly valuable. For my recovery, I have utilized a number of different resources - AA for the fellowship to help me stay sober, a pdoc to help me with emotional issues, and an intensive outpatient program to give me both information and tools to help during difficult times. In addition, I try to exercise, avoid isolating, learned yoga, meditate, etc. Each of these has been a key part of my recovery. No one of these things was enough by itself!

Lance40

My take on it is that the lives of alcoholics are ruled by emotions. We allowed emotions to drive our thoughts and behaviours and ultimately define our lives. We felt driven to drink because of happiness, sadness, loneliness, depression and a host of other emotions. I have yet to meet an emotionally stable alcoholic. The concept of an emotionally healthy alcoholic is an oxymoron.

AA, or any successful recovery program for that matter, requires that you arrange your life around a series of statements or principles that are not dependent on your emotions. In fact, you are required you to move past your emotions. From a principled approach, your emotions are irrelevant to taking that first step and admitting that you are powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable. It doesn't matter how you feel about that, it simply just is and becomes a matter of acceptance.

Emotional stability is one of the greatest gifts that sobriety has given me, and it's very liberating to move first into a place where you choose to live above your emotions and then finally settle into a place where you learn to manage them instead of them managing you.

Berrybean

It's hard to know what she meant without hearing it in context, as it doesn't sound like a 'stock phrase' that I've heard, so presumably was her own take on something. If you have been given telephone numbers or e-mail addresses from people in the group, your question is a perfect one for phoning someone to ask. I was very reluctant to contact people, even though they'd given me numbers, and wish I'd made more use of them at the beginning. It would have saved me lots of confusion, pain and procrastination.

I found that as I followed the principles of AA (the Steps), I gained a completely new insight into my emotions, and my emotional reaction to things that have happened in my past have definitely changed.

For most of us, our alcoholic hyper-sensitive emotional state has caused a lot of pain throughout at least a significant chunk of our lives, if not all of it. Through my step work I have been able to adjust my perspective so that now, memories from childhood that have always overwhelmed me with sadness, anger and resentful no longer have any power over me at all. Fears that have always controlled me without me even realising that it was happening have now loosened their grip over me. It's pretty amazing stuff. This isn't what happens in meetings though - the meeting is the tip of the ice-berg really. That's where you go to share experiences, strength and hope through listening, speaking, getting to meet other people who are on the same journey, and hopefully meet a sponsor. When you get a sponsor, and start working the Steps, that's when you can start addressing your own emotions; perceptions and life through your step work. I left it a bit too long for my own comfort before asking someone to sponsor me - it's one thing dealing with all those emotions with alcohol to help, but still carrying them around sober was almost my undoing. Thankfully I realised and started working the steps, and soon started to cope better.

When I first started going to AA, some of the things that longer-term members were talking about really confused me, as they were so far ahead of me and there is a certain AA 'lingo' that threw me a little at first as well. Going to Big Book meetings is useful. I think that the 12 and 12 meeting that is my Friday night jaunt nowadays has really helped my understanding of each of the steps as well - if there isn't a 12 and 12 meeting near you, I'd def recommend reading the 12 and 12 book as it gives a lot of insight and explanation. You can buy it or read it free online...
Alcoholics Anonymous : Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

I also found some of the speaker tapes that focus on the first steps really useful. There are some good ones on youtube and also on here ( 5500+ AA Speaker Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly! ) There is a 'donate' button, but that's optional.
On youtube, if you type 'AA speaker' and then what you want to know about, so 'AA speaker fear' 'AA speaker resentment' 'AA speaker step 3' or whatever, that usually comes up with something useful. There are a lot of resources out there, and people on here are fantastic as well.

mary2788

That is ALL very helpful..
Im super new to AA and haven't been as open as I should be use yet.. Also having trouble accepting the fact that I am an alcoholic.. although i feel great without it and don't want to drink! Strange I know

I am trying out an NA meeting this weekend as well as I have struggled with prescription anxiety mediation amount other dugs..

fini

my best guess is she was speaking to the principles of the program, not the meeting.
that "the program" is a way of principled living, where we/you/i do not go around acting on our emotion at any given moment.

you mention you drink to escape your feelings....well, that's drinking from a point of emotion, yes?
emotion ruling and "determining" what you do.
"living by principles" involves making decisions on a different basis.

i like Bb's suggestion to phone people and ask about this. would be hard for me to do but really helpful.