Overcoming self doubt
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Lafayette
Posts: 70
Overcoming self doubt
Hi everyone,
Today is my second day without alcohol. I'm glad to have made it this far but, the thing is, this is far from the first time I've tried to quit. I've made a commitment to quit several times a year for the last, oh, 5 years or so (maybe longer). Obviously, all those attempts failed.
Because I've failed so many times before I have started to develop a cynical mindset about quitting. All of those times before when I was SO CERTAIN that I was going to quit but then didn't makes me question my ability to do it this time.
I'm trying to remain positive about it, but in the back of my mind there's a voice that's making it hard for me to take myself seriously. Anyone else go through this?
Another problem is that most of my friends and family have no idea that I even struggle with alcohol addiction. I've never been in trouble for my drinking, and drinking is a big part of the culture where I live. Because I don't have anyone telling me I have an alcohol problem or that I should quit I feel like I'm on my own. But I know that I need to stop, even if everyone else doesn't.
Ok, there's my venting for today. Any advice would be helpful.Have a great one everyone!
Today is my second day without alcohol. I'm glad to have made it this far but, the thing is, this is far from the first time I've tried to quit. I've made a commitment to quit several times a year for the last, oh, 5 years or so (maybe longer). Obviously, all those attempts failed.
Because I've failed so many times before I have started to develop a cynical mindset about quitting. All of those times before when I was SO CERTAIN that I was going to quit but then didn't makes me question my ability to do it this time.
I'm trying to remain positive about it, but in the back of my mind there's a voice that's making it hard for me to take myself seriously. Anyone else go through this?
Another problem is that most of my friends and family have no idea that I even struggle with alcohol addiction. I've never been in trouble for my drinking, and drinking is a big part of the culture where I live. Because I don't have anyone telling me I have an alcohol problem or that I should quit I feel like I'm on my own. But I know that I need to stop, even if everyone else doesn't.
Ok, there's my venting for today. Any advice would be helpful.Have a great one everyone!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,323
Hi BeanSkillet,
Yes i relate 100% to Self Doubt having a major negative impact on my life.
I'm working through the AA steps with a sponsor, and it's incredible how much SELF DOUBT occurs in my day to day life.
But it can be overcome, and it doesn't mean i have to live with it.
Focus daily on the good things you can accomplish in the day in front of you. They don't have to be big things either.
Coming here to post about this is a good step. Keep posting!
Yes i relate 100% to Self Doubt having a major negative impact on my life.
I'm working through the AA steps with a sponsor, and it's incredible how much SELF DOUBT occurs in my day to day life.
But it can be overcome, and it doesn't mean i have to live with it.
Focus daily on the good things you can accomplish in the day in front of you. They don't have to be big things either.
Coming here to post about this is a good step. Keep posting!
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Glad you're here, welcome
I drank for a long time swearing off alcohol on many occasions. I think many here did the same, pretty common.
However, we are the fortunate one who get another chance. That is never guaranteed.
One of two events has to happen in my experience. Either really bad events - consequences have to transpire or we simply are sick and tired of being sick and tired. We can see what will happen if we don't quit.
I have 14 months of sobriety after drinking for 30+ years. The last few daily and alcoholically. I am qualified.
I could never quit on willpower alone. It always failed me. I found the program of AA to be very helpful / life changing in fact.
There are many ways or none at all. If just putting down the booze doesn't work, maybe consider some structured program or developing a course of action to stay stopped. That is the challenge - staying stopped.
You may find as many of us do that close family is more aware than you think they are. If not, they will pick up on it eventually - most likely.
Two days is a great start - considering reinforcing your plan of action, perhaps.
Thanks for the post - and again
Welcome!!
I drank for a long time swearing off alcohol on many occasions. I think many here did the same, pretty common.
However, we are the fortunate one who get another chance. That is never guaranteed.
One of two events has to happen in my experience. Either really bad events - consequences have to transpire or we simply are sick and tired of being sick and tired. We can see what will happen if we don't quit.
I have 14 months of sobriety after drinking for 30+ years. The last few daily and alcoholically. I am qualified.
I could never quit on willpower alone. It always failed me. I found the program of AA to be very helpful / life changing in fact.
There are many ways or none at all. If just putting down the booze doesn't work, maybe consider some structured program or developing a course of action to stay stopped. That is the challenge - staying stopped.
You may find as many of us do that close family is more aware than you think they are. If not, they will pick up on it eventually - most likely.
Two days is a great start - considering reinforcing your plan of action, perhaps.
Thanks for the post - and again
Welcome!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 14
Same story here! I'm day three and committed to this differently for the first time. Whereas before I've perused forums, this time I have joined one. I am trying to be honest with myself about my reality---that there are countless numbers of times when drinking has caused me to act and react in ways I wouldn't otherwise and that I can stop that by not drinking. I don't fit a classic disaster scenario and, yet, I feel like one. And I am consumed by negative shame and guilt pretty constantly.
I haven't hard long term success in past so I'm trying to check in here often as develop doubts throughout the day.
I haven't hard long term success in past so I'm trying to check in here often as develop doubts throughout the day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Lafayette
Posts: 70
Thanks guys. It's pretty amazing to me to have an online community like this where people take time to say kind and encouraging things to people whom they don't even know. That's why I want to keep coming back here and posting as much as I can. 
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Heres a link for building a plan congrats on day 2 bud http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Botswana
Posts: 384
Welcome,
I could totally have written your post when I first came here.
I am as cynical / skeptical / rational call it what you will as can be.
My advice is to post often here. Every time you get the faintest inkling of a desire to drink. You will be amazed at the response you receive but - more helpfully in my experience - what you actually find yourself writing.
Reading about AVRT was a huge boost for me putting myself back in control.
I also recommend joint the class of August 2015 thread. You will find others at the same stage of recovery and be able to share and support each other.
I joined the class of June and am 61 days sober. I still have self doubt but this is much diminished compared to a feeling of excitement about potentially - at last - being able to live a life free from the shackles of alcohol.
I wish you well on this journey
Fradley
I could totally have written your post when I first came here.
I am as cynical / skeptical / rational call it what you will as can be.
My advice is to post often here. Every time you get the faintest inkling of a desire to drink. You will be amazed at the response you receive but - more helpfully in my experience - what you actually find yourself writing.
Reading about AVRT was a huge boost for me putting myself back in control.
I also recommend joint the class of August 2015 thread. You will find others at the same stage of recovery and be able to share and support each other.
I joined the class of June and am 61 days sober. I still have self doubt but this is much diminished compared to a feeling of excitement about potentially - at last - being able to live a life free from the shackles of alcohol.
I wish you well on this journey
Fradley
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,413
Welcome BeanSkillet... you will get lots of support here. A plan for recovery is very important and different for everyone - you need to find one that works for you. Keep racking up the sober days and you will really feel better.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 161
Originally Posted by BeanSkillet 
Hi everyone,
Today is my second day without alcohol. I'm glad to have made it this far but, the thing is, this is far from the first time I've tried to quit. I've made a commitment to quit several times a year for the last, oh, 5 years or so (maybe longer). Obviously, all those attempts failed.
Because I've failed so many times before I have started to develop a cynical mindset about quitting. All of those times before when I was SO CERTAIN that I was going to quit but then didn't makes me question my ability to do it this time.
I'm trying to remain positive about it, but in the back of my mind there's a voice that's making it hard for me to take myself seriously. Anyone else go through this?
Another problem is that most of my friends and family have no idea that I even struggle with alcohol addiction. I've never been in trouble for my drinking, and drinking is a big part of the culture where I live. Because I don't have anyone telling me I have an alcohol problem or that I should quit I feel like I'm on my own. But I know that I need to stop, even if everyone else doesn't.
Ok, there's my venting for today. Any advice would be helpful.Have a great one everyone!
Today is my second day without alcohol. I'm glad to have made it this far but, the thing is, this is far from the first time I've tried to quit. I've made a commitment to quit several times a year for the last, oh, 5 years or so (maybe longer). Obviously, all those attempts failed.
Because I've failed so many times before I have started to develop a cynical mindset about quitting. All of those times before when I was SO CERTAIN that I was going to quit but then didn't makes me question my ability to do it this time.
I'm trying to remain positive about it, but in the back of my mind there's a voice that's making it hard for me to take myself seriously. Anyone else go through this?
Another problem is that most of my friends and family have no idea that I even struggle with alcohol addiction. I've never been in trouble for my drinking, and drinking is a big part of the culture where I live. Because I don't have anyone telling me I have an alcohol problem or that I should quit I feel like I'm on my own. But I know that I need to stop, even if everyone else doesn't.
Ok, there's my venting for today. Any advice would be helpful.Have a great one everyone!
"1dayaddatime"
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Great to meet you, BeanSkillet. It really helps to talk things over with friends who care. I felt less anxious when I joined SR - I had been all alone until then. Glad you are here. 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
Hi BeanSkillet
my self doubt was crippling - I had what they call 'analysis paralysis'.
I read all the books and everything but I still felt as if I was not up to the job of staying sober.
but I also knew if I didn't get sober I would die.
So I stayed sober, day by day, sometimes hour by hour or minute by minute.
I leant on all the support I had, and I gave support to others.
I moved from being a great thinker to a great doer - and that saved my life.
I think it's possible for anyone to commit to staying sober today - when you get a string of those together, you'll no doubt find - like I did - that you feel a little differently about yourself.
I found I was more capable and a better person than I ever realised
D
my self doubt was crippling - I had what they call 'analysis paralysis'.
I read all the books and everything but I still felt as if I was not up to the job of staying sober.
but I also knew if I didn't get sober I would die.
So I stayed sober, day by day, sometimes hour by hour or minute by minute.
I leant on all the support I had, and I gave support to others.
I moved from being a great thinker to a great doer - and that saved my life.
I think it's possible for anyone to commit to staying sober today - when you get a string of those together, you'll no doubt find - like I did - that you feel a little differently about yourself.
I found I was more capable and a better person than I ever realised
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
BeanSkillet, it sounds like you know you need to stop drinking, so don't let the fact that your family/friends are unaware of this slow you down. Do what you need to do because things will get worse if you don't because alcoholism is progressive.
Welcome, and we do understand.
Welcome, and we do understand.
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