Getagrip

Probably not the hardest day for me being a binge drinker and never really capable of drinking the next day, but considering my blackout last night and the knowing i did something terrible, i have been asked by 2 different friends to go round for a drink and a chat and have said no to both, opting for a bath and an early night instead. I will need to find an excuse for tomorrow night as i know i will be asked again, i want the chat but not the drink

Anna

Good for you. You're right, early recovery involves changes in our lives. Maybe you could meet your friends for coffee?

Ruby2

Good job saying no. How about telling your friends what you've told us? You want the chat but not the drink. Go out for coffee, tea, ice cream, lunch, but not a bar or pub.

Early sobriety can sometimes feel lonely if your friends are all drinking. And I read your earlier thread that your friends all drink to get drunk. Research other options to get a social fix that don't involve drinking.

Hang in there and take care of yourself.

CaseyW

First off, congrats on day one.

Second, why do you need an excuse? A simple "no thanks" is the truth and should be good enough.

Glad you've stuck close to here today. Hope you'll keep that up as your journey progresses. You're in the my thoughts and prayers today...

Getagrip

I would go for a coffee, but if i suggested that to any of my friends, they would look at me like i had 2 heads and probably all have a drink together anyway and i would have to like it or lump it

Getagrip

Thank you all for your kind words, it really means alot, knowing that you have all been where i am today, hungover and having no recollection of last night gives me the strength as i know u are talking from experience and not a text book.

When i rang the samaritans this morning her advice to me was "well just dont drink then" ok good advice but easier said than done

CaseyW

Perhaps you should consider going to an AA or other recovery meeting. Widen your circle of acquaintances.

One thing I've learned is there is a big difference between real friends and drinking buddies. Sometimes the two overlap but many times they don't.

Soberwolf

Good job have you got a plan

Getagrip

I dont have a plan, i need a plan, especially because i know my friend will want me to go to hers tomorrow night for a drink, then i go to my other friends on saturdays and we drink until we drop, have done about 20 years, this will be a tough weekend, i think once i do the 1st the rest will be easier

saoutchik

Congratulations on day 1 Getagrip

It is difficult with drinking friends but just explain to them basically what you have told us. They will probably be doubtful at first but as long as you stick to your guns i'm sure they will understand given time

wehav2day

I had to straight up avoid my "drinking friends" for a while in early sobriety. When I decided I could hang out with them but not the booze, I realized a lot of them weren't really friends after all, just people to drink with. The others didn't care at all that I didn't drink, and could meet me in a park as easily as a bar.

Congrats on day 1!!

Dharma33

Hi Get,

Very early on I took a pass on anything social that had alcohol within reach. I just didn't have the resolve yet to say no, so staying away from an environment with drinking around was the only safe option.

Your true friends will stick around if you lay low for a while, or opt to meet them at the coffee shop instead.

Berrybean

My first month of sober, I used 'Lent' to get people off my back and give me space to focus on my longer term plan. I was glad I did, as once my drinking buddies knew of my plan to stay sober they started to try to sabotage it. (They have admitted this to me, months later). This isn't because they're bad people. It's because they can't imagine a life beyond drinking, and didn't want to lose me. Still. It certainly wasn't helpful. I read a saying once about drinkers being like crabs, and as one starts clambering out of the basket, the others claw it back in. That analogy really stuck with me, and now when someone is encouraging me to drink I see crabs in my head and have a little wry smile to myself.

If you aren't going to talk to them about it, I would strongly suggest seeking out an alcohol support group of some kind (Samaritans and even some healthcare professionals only have a limited understanding about alcohol and addiction really). I know from spending periods isolating myself, loneliness really does allow your alcoholic voice to go on quite a rampage.

You've probably heard of HALT before. It's an acronym for Hungry; Angry; Lonely; Tired. These are all triggers and avoiding them as much as possible will really help your sobriety.

Soberwolf

Here you go http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html