How do I say no?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 9
How do I say no?
I have been on this site for a little over a day and its opened my eyes tremendously but I still have a lot to learn. I am a senior in highschool and am dating a heroin addict who is also a senior. Did I see this coming? Not at all. But being an enabler is what this post comes down to. I didn't realise how much I have in fact been enabling my boyfriend throughout his addiction. He will ask for money from me once or twice a week even though he has a job and I would just hand it over. I mean why should I say no? He says he will pay me back and sometimes its for necessities like gas.
But I am going to break that habit...of all the money I have lent him he's only paid like a fourth of it back. I've just accepted that it will be close to a miracle if I ever get the rest back. I just know that if I say no he is going to make me feel so guilty and manipulate me into doing it anyways. Any tips on how to stand my ground and not give in?
But I am going to break that habit...of all the money I have lent him he's only paid like a fourth of it back. I've just accepted that it will be close to a miracle if I ever get the rest back. I just know that if I say no he is going to make me feel so guilty and manipulate me into doing it anyways. Any tips on how to stand my ground and not give in?
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Casper, WY
Posts: 287
Sorry to hear of your situation. I've been on both ends...the moocher and the moochee.
Do you plan to stay in this relationship? It sounds anything but healthy for you, and well beyond the scope of 17-18 years.
"Always Believe!" -The Ultimate Warrior
Do you plan to stay in this relationship? It sounds anything but healthy for you, and well beyond the scope of 17-18 years.
"Always Believe!" -The Ultimate Warrior
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
I am a senior in highschool and am dating a heroin addict who is also a senior.
When young women in situations such as yours come to us, my uncle instincts kick in. So please do not take offense at how blunt I'm about to be, because deep down, it pains me that you're even here and I have to respond to this.
You say no by saying no, and then you ditch him, block him, and put him in your rearview mirror permanently.
Now, you're probably thinking this is colder than cold. I wouldn't necessarily disagree. But it's also necessary. You're, what, 17 years old? You've got your senior year ahead of you. If you keep him around, I guarantee that he will drag you to a place that, at this moment, you are not equipped to handle. Why? Because women older and more mature than you have been exactly where you are, and they've been chewed up and spit out, too.
As an aside...you have no idea what possibilities exist for you in the future. You have the ability at this moment to decide your destiny. The only limits on you are your imagination and your drive. Anything and everything is possible. But the only way you can fully realize your potential is to learn how to identify when someone is bleeding you dry. If you don't lose him, you will be a shell of yourself mentally and emotionally. And I do not under any circumstances want to read about that happening to you.
Got it?
I encourage you to connect with a member who goes by mnh1982. She's going through some heavy stuff right now, and I think it would be beneficial for you to see what she has to say.
Keep us posted.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Just think about how giving him money is essentially assisted suicide because he's spending it on something that will ultimately take his life away.
Then think about why this level of drama and conflict is so appealing to you in a relationship. You are young, so maybe it seems really "grown up" to be in a relationship with all these issues, but it is really terribly unhealthy. I wish I had known that when I was your age.
Are there issues with alcoholism or addiction in your family? I grew up with an alcoholic father and it had a far-reaching impact on my intimate relationships as an adult.
Then think about why this level of drama and conflict is so appealing to you in a relationship. You are young, so maybe it seems really "grown up" to be in a relationship with all these issues, but it is really terribly unhealthy. I wish I had known that when I was your age.
Are there issues with alcoholism or addiction in your family? I grew up with an alcoholic father and it had a far-reaching impact on my intimate relationships as an adult.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hpath, it's great that you've found this site so early in your life and relationship. Until your ABF embraces recovery, and it sounds like he's not there yet, it can only be unhealthy for you and him. You because he's bleeding you, and will never be capable of putting you ahead of his addiction, and you because you are slipping into the role of an enabler. There's also the danger of hanging out with people who consider drugs a way of life.
You sound very switched on, and I think your plan for cutting off the money is a no-brainer. He'll put you under some pressure because he's used to you giving in, and you may see a different side of him then. It makes sense for you to break off the relationship, even if you love him, because it's going nowhere.
You sound very switched on, and I think your plan for cutting off the money is a no-brainer. He'll put you under some pressure because he's used to you giving in, and you may see a different side of him then. It makes sense for you to break off the relationship, even if you love him, because it's going nowhere.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 276
Sweetie, you are so, so young. But that does not mean you lack the capacity to learn from everything you're going through, and learn well, and become wise.
This is going to sound absolutely asinine:
You're asking how to say no.
You just effing do it.
My exAH was the same way. Always, always broke. Always asking for money.
Until he didn't. Until he decided what was mine was also his, and what was the baby's was his, and whatever he could find that wasn't nailed down was his.
I have lost innumerable gift cards (with the BABY'S name on them), only to be told that he "didn't know where they were, they must have fallen out of my purse".
I have had a very nice MacBook Air stolen, because "he spilled soda on the keyboard so he took it to a friend of his who knows a lot about computers".
The $300 waterproof iPod I bought him for Christmas? Gone. "But it's in my car, somewhere. It's just my car is a mess."
$300 shotgun that he desperately wanted for his birthday? Gone. "No it's not, it's at my dad's."
Do you see where I'm going, here?
Soon it will not just be money, and likely it is not, already, just YOUR pocketbook he's raiding. And in the process of giving up material things and money to him, you are eroding your own sense of self. You have earned your money. Your "things" may just be things, but they are YOURS. This is a metaphor for how he will eventually rob you of your sense of self-worth, self-esteem, certainty of what's true and what's not, even bend your morality and change your concept of what's "right" and what's "wrong".
If you fear for your physical wellbeing when you turn him down, call a friend, or don't engage him in person. If you're just afraid of dealing with a temper tantrum, take a deep breath, remind yourself that you're worth more than this, and stand your ground-addicts are famous for their hot air and heel-kicking.
He will likely throw a tantrum. He will also likely try to manipulate you into some version of the "so you want to be in a relationship but you don't want to share things??" argument.
It's all ********.
You want to know how to say no?
You accept that it's not going to pretty.
And then you just effing DO it.
And please do so while what's being taken from you is just money.
This is going to sound absolutely asinine:
You're asking how to say no.
You just effing do it.
My exAH was the same way. Always, always broke. Always asking for money.
Until he didn't. Until he decided what was mine was also his, and what was the baby's was his, and whatever he could find that wasn't nailed down was his.
I have lost innumerable gift cards (with the BABY'S name on them), only to be told that he "didn't know where they were, they must have fallen out of my purse".
I have had a very nice MacBook Air stolen, because "he spilled soda on the keyboard so he took it to a friend of his who knows a lot about computers".
The $300 waterproof iPod I bought him for Christmas? Gone. "But it's in my car, somewhere. It's just my car is a mess."
$300 shotgun that he desperately wanted for his birthday? Gone. "No it's not, it's at my dad's."
Do you see where I'm going, here?
Soon it will not just be money, and likely it is not, already, just YOUR pocketbook he's raiding. And in the process of giving up material things and money to him, you are eroding your own sense of self. You have earned your money. Your "things" may just be things, but they are YOURS. This is a metaphor for how he will eventually rob you of your sense of self-worth, self-esteem, certainty of what's true and what's not, even bend your morality and change your concept of what's "right" and what's "wrong".
If you fear for your physical wellbeing when you turn him down, call a friend, or don't engage him in person. If you're just afraid of dealing with a temper tantrum, take a deep breath, remind yourself that you're worth more than this, and stand your ground-addicts are famous for their hot air and heel-kicking.
He will likely throw a tantrum. He will also likely try to manipulate you into some version of the "so you want to be in a relationship but you don't want to share things??" argument.
It's all ********.
You want to know how to say no?
You accept that it's not going to pretty.
And then you just effing DO it.
And please do so while what's being taken from you is just money.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 775
Hpath, I read your other post and didnt realize you were so young. I'm not a big poster here but your post have the dad in me wanting to help you.
Look I get that you feel you can change him but let me tell you you cant and why would you want to. I also know that first love feels like it can be the only love but its not.
Read around the forum you will see a lot of women who thought they could change their love, they couldnt. You dont want to be 25 yo with 2 kids and no help raising them. Trust me thats where your headed.
Do you have a trusted adult you can go to? Who will help you with no judgement?
Please dont do heroin with him anymore. It can only go bad. The addict in him wants you to be a junkie too. Trust me thats how it works.
Hpath you are at the crossroads of your life. You can go one way or the other. This could very well be the most important decision of your life. You know in your head which way to go. This is going to be hard but dont follow your heart. Trust me your heart will bring you in the wrong direction this time.
We see many young people come here and then they disappear . Please stick around come back often and let us know how your doing
Look I get that you feel you can change him but let me tell you you cant and why would you want to. I also know that first love feels like it can be the only love but its not.
Read around the forum you will see a lot of women who thought they could change their love, they couldnt. You dont want to be 25 yo with 2 kids and no help raising them. Trust me thats where your headed.
Do you have a trusted adult you can go to? Who will help you with no judgement?
Please dont do heroin with him anymore. It can only go bad. The addict in him wants you to be a junkie too. Trust me thats how it works.
Hpath you are at the crossroads of your life. You can go one way or the other. This could very well be the most important decision of your life. You know in your head which way to go. This is going to be hard but dont follow your heart. Trust me your heart will bring you in the wrong direction this time.
We see many young people come here and then they disappear . Please stick around come back often and let us know how your doing
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 54
It seems as though you're at a crossroads right now.
This situation, him & the addiction that rising up around you both could all be a story you tell one day. & Hopefully that story ends with you realizing how lucky you were that you chose to take the exit off a highway to nothing good!
I married an undercover drug addict. if it weren't for the child we had together, i would rewind time and find the quickest way out, rip the band aid off the very first time i sensed something was up.
I'm close to 30 & feel as though my relationship with him has aged me tremendously. Be young & wild & free & take care of you! Your almost 30 year old self will thank you.
This situation, him & the addiction that rising up around you both could all be a story you tell one day. & Hopefully that story ends with you realizing how lucky you were that you chose to take the exit off a highway to nothing good!
I married an undercover drug addict. if it weren't for the child we had together, i would rewind time and find the quickest way out, rip the band aid off the very first time i sensed something was up.
I'm close to 30 & feel as though my relationship with him has aged me tremendously. Be young & wild & free & take care of you! Your almost 30 year old self will thank you.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
How to say "No" . . .
For me, I learned that NO was a complete sentence ~ I didn't have to explain or justify my answer.
I just said NO.
I didn't apologize for saying no (I'm sorry, but I can't right now.)
I didn't give excuses (No, I need my money for other things)
I didn't postpone the answer (Not now, but we can talk about it later)
I learned through my recovery (al-anon) to just say NO.
If it got to a point where more was needed than NO, I said "It's not a healthy thing for me to do"
Others have also shared about how young you are & how much life you have to live ~
I wanted to add my thoughts -
addiction is progressive, right now unless by some miracle your boyfriend finds recovery - this is the very best it is ever going to be ~ Life lessons have taught us ~ it only gets worse. and gets worse fast ~
Please remember you are worth of a healthy relationship with a healthy person ~
Please think about what is healthy for you ~
wishing you the very best,
PINK HUGS (hope, unity, gratitude and serenity)
For me, I learned that NO was a complete sentence ~ I didn't have to explain or justify my answer.
I just said NO.
I didn't apologize for saying no (I'm sorry, but I can't right now.)
I didn't give excuses (No, I need my money for other things)
I didn't postpone the answer (Not now, but we can talk about it later)
I learned through my recovery (al-anon) to just say NO.
If it got to a point where more was needed than NO, I said "It's not a healthy thing for me to do"
Others have also shared about how young you are & how much life you have to live ~
I wanted to add my thoughts -
addiction is progressive, right now unless by some miracle your boyfriend finds recovery - this is the very best it is ever going to be ~ Life lessons have taught us ~ it only gets worse. and gets worse fast ~
Please remember you are worth of a healthy relationship with a healthy person ~
Please think about what is healthy for you ~
wishing you the very best,
PINK HUGS (hope, unity, gratitude and serenity)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 9
I appreciate each and every one of you taking time out of your lives to give me all of this enlightening advise.
I know that the right thing to do is to leave, but its not that easy. And telling from the other stories I have read about other women in relationships like this, it seems as if its a natural thing to not know how or want to leave. How I see it (and deep down I know I'm just making excuses and am probably in denial and I'm sorry if I sound ridiculous) his addiction isn't that bad yet. Quite frankly I don't know if it would be considered addiction, at least not on a physical level. I don't live with him, so I'm not around it all the time. I really don't think he does it on a daily basis, he's way too broke to be able to afford that and his parents seldomly give him money anymore. So I feel as if there is hope, that he will just stop one day, or maybe use but not frequently. I think the reason I believe this is because of the fact I was able to do it a handful of times and didn't get sucked in.
I know I can't save him, and if I were to leave I would lose not only the love of my life for the past 2 in a half years, but my number one supporter and best friend. I'm just not ready for that big of a change yet. And quite frankly I'm really happy with our relationship, aside from the drug usage of course. I'm thinking that if things do progress as its been said addiction is progressive, that I will wait until college to break things off. Its pretty hard to end a highschool relationship when you can't really get away from that person because of school and people constantly asking you why you broke up. I know I sound naive and stubborn but this is still all new to me.
But while i stay in the relationship, I really am going to do all I can to break the habit of enabling. Feeling guilty for saying no is way better than feeling guilty for saying yes
I know that the right thing to do is to leave, but its not that easy. And telling from the other stories I have read about other women in relationships like this, it seems as if its a natural thing to not know how or want to leave. How I see it (and deep down I know I'm just making excuses and am probably in denial and I'm sorry if I sound ridiculous) his addiction isn't that bad yet. Quite frankly I don't know if it would be considered addiction, at least not on a physical level. I don't live with him, so I'm not around it all the time. I really don't think he does it on a daily basis, he's way too broke to be able to afford that and his parents seldomly give him money anymore. So I feel as if there is hope, that he will just stop one day, or maybe use but not frequently. I think the reason I believe this is because of the fact I was able to do it a handful of times and didn't get sucked in.
I know I can't save him, and if I were to leave I would lose not only the love of my life for the past 2 in a half years, but my number one supporter and best friend. I'm just not ready for that big of a change yet. And quite frankly I'm really happy with our relationship, aside from the drug usage of course. I'm thinking that if things do progress as its been said addiction is progressive, that I will wait until college to break things off. Its pretty hard to end a highschool relationship when you can't really get away from that person because of school and people constantly asking you why you broke up. I know I sound naive and stubborn but this is still all new to me.
But while i stay in the relationship, I really am going to do all I can to break the habit of enabling. Feeling guilty for saying no is way better than feeling guilty for saying yes
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Hpath,
Let's strip everything away save for one fundamental question.
Is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Let's strip everything away save for one fundamental question.
Is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 625
Hpath, do you have an adult in your life you can confide in? Your mom or dad, a counselor or teacher? This load is too heavy to carry alone. I hope you stayed tuned in here too! You are so welcome.
This young man needs more help than you are prepared to provide. He deserves to be healthy, and you deserve a healthy partner and friend.
Take care.
This young man needs more help than you are prepared to provide. He deserves to be healthy, and you deserve a healthy partner and friend.
Take care.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by Hpath 
Zoso,
I understand that I am young, and please no harsh judgements, but I genuinely believe he is. At least in this point of my life
I understand that I am young, and please no harsh judgements, but I genuinely believe he is. At least in this point of my life
I was 41 when I met my AXGF. I invite you to look over my post history to see how that went down. When you love someone, and when you want to give them the benefit of the doubt, that will cloud your reason at any age. I gave my AXGF the benefit of the doubt. Repeatedly.
My function here is a greeter, a soundboard, a source of support...and on rare occasions, to provide reality checks. So I will leave you with this, kiddo: I'm in your corner, full in, 100%. And if and when you're ready to confide in me, I'm as close as a PM.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Hpath, I would urge you to read up on heroin . Its very very addictive. Its causing so many deaths. So many overdoses. I know a guy who has lost two friends due to overdoses, just this spring. And in my town, there are at least several a week, many of which led to death.
Its true, addiction is progressive. But heroin addiction is a very very dangerous drug. Please, find out for yourself just how much he does do. He may not tell you the truth..especially if he is doing more than you know now. He may be broke a lot , because he is doing it a lot.
please, be informed. Have you ever seen an old heroin addict? probably not. they don't live long enough to get old.
I know you love him, but perhaps you putting up boundaries might be instrumental in saving his life. Maybe he will wake up, if you say no. Not likely, but maybe. Heroin steals souls.
take care, and please, don't be upset by our posts... listen, share, learn, and make decisions as if your life depends upon it. It really does.
Its true, addiction is progressive. But heroin addiction is a very very dangerous drug. Please, find out for yourself just how much he does do. He may not tell you the truth..especially if he is doing more than you know now. He may be broke a lot , because he is doing it a lot.
please, be informed. Have you ever seen an old heroin addict? probably not. they don't live long enough to get old.
I know you love him, but perhaps you putting up boundaries might be instrumental in saving his life. Maybe he will wake up, if you say no. Not likely, but maybe. Heroin steals souls.
take care, and please, don't be upset by our posts... listen, share, learn, and make decisions as if your life depends upon it. It really does.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,507
Hpath - You have some great advice already. I just want to say how glad I am you reached out for help with this problem. It's too much to handle on your own, and you are smart & mature enough to know that. I'm sorry for the situation you find yourself in. I've been there many years ago - and was the classic enabler. This won't be you. 
Keep on reading and posting - we care.
Keep on reading and posting - we care.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Healthy thought process and healthy self-esteem- when one sees a big red flag (heroin addiction) they take that warning seriously. They remove themselves from harm and emotional destruction. Not because they don't care or have compassion but because they have a healthy self love and self compassion for themselves. Their lives are not controlled by fear of what others will think.
VS
Un-healthy thought process and unhealthy self-esteem- they embrace the big red flags as though they were trophys they are going to win. They remain in harmful and unhealthy situations being lied to, guilted and manipulated into things they are afraid to say no to because then they may lose the love they think they have. They don't understand that love is not manipulating or guilting someone into something they are uncomfortable with. They remain in unhealthy relationships because they fear what others may say about them.
More often then not is stops being about them and their addictions and behaviors and clearly becomes all about our own issues.
VS
Un-healthy thought process and unhealthy self-esteem- they embrace the big red flags as though they were trophys they are going to win. They remain in harmful and unhealthy situations being lied to, guilted and manipulated into things they are afraid to say no to because then they may lose the love they think they have. They don't understand that love is not manipulating or guilting someone into something they are uncomfortable with. They remain in unhealthy relationships because they fear what others may say about them.
More often then not is stops being about them and their addictions and behaviors and clearly becomes all about our own issues.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 276
Darling Girl:
I am 33.
I was 31 when I met my addict ex-husband.
I truly believed that I wanted to spend my life with him, and I truly believed that he felt the same about me.
I did not give two poops about the reality, nor the red flags.
I am 33.
We have a 9month old son.
It is now not just my life, and my future, and my happiness being jeopardized.
There are days, darling girl, that I STILL believe I want to spend the rest of my life with my husband.
Because I am tired.
Because I am lonely.
Because my baby needs a father.
Age.
Means.
Nothing.
When it comes to what you will believe about your addict. You believe he is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.
You believe it now.
And you will believe it later.
What so many of us are trying to say is to please, please, please seek help and support for yourself before you have wasted that life.
Before you realise that just because you want to spend your life ON your boyfriend does not mean he is willing to do the same for you.
You will hurt when you leave him just as badly now, but probably not worse than, you might should you leave him in 10 years.
But in 10 years, a lot of things can happen.
And one of them is that you might have a child.
And another is that you might not make it that 10 years.
Not mentally, nor emotionally, without major repercussions.
Or, in the worst case scenario, since he seems to have dragged you into his drug habits at all.
Did you hear me?
You are very young and without a lot of the tools, resources, finances and options that an older person might have.
I said, if you wait to end it with him, you might not make it.
At all.
I am 33.
I was 31 when I met my addict ex-husband.
I truly believed that I wanted to spend my life with him, and I truly believed that he felt the same about me.
I did not give two poops about the reality, nor the red flags.
I am 33.
We have a 9month old son.
It is now not just my life, and my future, and my happiness being jeopardized.
There are days, darling girl, that I STILL believe I want to spend the rest of my life with my husband.
Because I am tired.
Because I am lonely.
Because my baby needs a father.
Age.
Means.
Nothing.
When it comes to what you will believe about your addict. You believe he is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.
You believe it now.
And you will believe it later.
What so many of us are trying to say is to please, please, please seek help and support for yourself before you have wasted that life.
Before you realise that just because you want to spend your life ON your boyfriend does not mean he is willing to do the same for you.
You will hurt when you leave him just as badly now, but probably not worse than, you might should you leave him in 10 years.
But in 10 years, a lot of things can happen.
And one of them is that you might have a child.
And another is that you might not make it that 10 years.
Not mentally, nor emotionally, without major repercussions.
Or, in the worst case scenario, since he seems to have dragged you into his drug habits at all.
Did you hear me?
You are very young and without a lot of the tools, resources, finances and options that an older person might have.
I said, if you wait to end it with him, you might not make it.
At all.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Hpath,
You are so smart & wise for your age - so ready to take care of yourself if the need occurs ~ hold on to these qualities as you walk your path
Please know that none of us are judging or trying to force you to make decisions.
We are just sharing our experience, strength and hope, because someone else did the same thing to us when we first came to this site.
I know for one, I thought, geez my situation isn't as bad as theirs. That was MY denial.
So I want to encourage you to please keep coming back ~ not because we want to make you see things "our way" but because you deserve love and support.
Whether you stay or end this relationship - the love, support and encouragement from the members here will help with your journey.
It took me over 3 years to walk away after my now exah relapsed again. I had several years in al-anon recovery ~ it just didn't happen over night - I had to find my own way to know what was healthy for me.
We just want to give you that same encouragement, support and understanding that was given to us.
BIG PINK HUGS (hope, unity, gratitude & serenity)
You are so smart & wise for your age - so ready to take care of yourself if the need occurs ~ hold on to these qualities as you walk your path
Please know that none of us are judging or trying to force you to make decisions.
We are just sharing our experience, strength and hope, because someone else did the same thing to us when we first came to this site.
I know for one, I thought, geez my situation isn't as bad as theirs. That was MY denial.
So I want to encourage you to please keep coming back ~ not because we want to make you see things "our way" but because you deserve love and support.
Whether you stay or end this relationship - the love, support and encouragement from the members here will help with your journey.
It took me over 3 years to walk away after my now exah relapsed again. I had several years in al-anon recovery ~ it just didn't happen over night - I had to find my own way to know what was healthy for me.
We just want to give you that same encouragement, support and understanding that was given to us.
BIG PINK HUGS (hope, unity, gratitude & serenity)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Hauppauge, NY
Posts: 62
Hi, can I just say, your post touched me because my daughter started her addiction at age 17 with her then boyfriend who is an addict. It started off with her having a "crush" on him because he was a couple of years older than her and she though he was cool. She started thinking that he wouldn't be using any more after he completed rehab, which of course didn't happen. She then started thinking if she used with him, she could somehow make him slow down as she was not addicted YET. She is now 22 and is addicted and still struggling to break free. PLEASE, get rid of this loser now before its too late. You already admitted to trying it with him and didn't get "hooked." I am telling you, you will get hooked. Its inevitable. My daughter is no longer with this boyfriend, but he's still hooked and so is she so listen to my, get out now, finish highschool and go to college and get away from him. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and still have a chance, so take it. I wish you the best.
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