peanut44

I'm not sure what the deal is but it's been rougher the last 2 days than I think it should be.
However, I have never gotten off suboxone either. Until now!

I'm glad I found this site when I did. Somehow it's comforting and makes me feel better sitting here posting.

So here's the deal, I have some low dose ativan but being good with it. I have tramadol for pain but it's really not doing anything. I think ibuprofen might be working better. I'm kind of wondering if I had more pain issues that I was masking on the opiates, or maybe I created more by working stupidly while I was under the influence of opiates.

I hurt all over, I have an empty feeling that I don't know how to fill, I'm exhausted but not tired enough to sleep. No appetite but I force myself to eat. Every now and then it clears up suddenly and I feel ok but only for a short time.

I'm hoping this is all a normal part of my mind and body adjusting. I realize it's only been 9 days.
Just my thoughts.

Coldfusion

Peanut, it is awesome that you have made it through the last two days. I don't know how much faith you place in astrology, but this seems to be a difficult time of the year, and there is the added stress of the recent full moon.

At times like this, I find my meetings very helpful. Yesterday was our local agnostic meeting, but it was somewhat highly charged by all the suffering going on in the room. If nothing else, I was helped by seeing that others are having more trouble than I.

Keep reading and posting--it works if you work it!

peanut44

I have never really looked into astrology but when I was in rehab a long time ago, I was told I was in the 15% group of "sensitive" people.

I believe it, I am extremely sensitive visually, especially my hearing. I get over stimulated by certain things. I do think a full moon affects me and being around places with a lot of power lines. I know that sounds weird. I hear things that other people don't, unless they really focus in on it or everything else goes silent.

What ever all that means......

Probably one of the reasons I self medicated. I agree, it does seem like a lot of people are suffering right now.

Soberwolf

Congrats on day 9 Peanut

PurpleKnight

Day 9 is fantastic!! Keep it going!!

thomas11

Peanut how long had you been taking benzos and/or painkillers?

D122y

Congratulations. The.way.my experience has.gone you are in for more un-comfort. I drank loads of water, and ate when I craved booze. I never dealt w the meds., but from what I have read here etc., they are even tougher to.get off. Try to find a comfortable place and breath. Emerse yourself in a series e.g Breaking Bad.

Almost 3 month s sober. Hit the gym. Ate some ribs. Buying some tickets to go see my alcoholic family. They know I quit and think I am crazy. I am a born again non drinker. Very grateful to all here. Very proud of my progress. I am extremely protective of my sobriety. 1 day at a time. God help me.

peanut44

Thomas, I've mainly used opiates off and on for 15 years. This last period was after I broke my foot a few years ago. It starts innocently enough but after that I start abusing it. That's why I got on suboxone. It takes care of cravings but it's a partial opiate too. So it's abusable and I was starting to abuse it. I shouldn't have been on it for so long.

Getting used to life without it is not easy. Boredom or what I perceive as boredom sets in. It's probably that I don't know what to do with myself. I've done meetings, I've had a sponsor but I've had a couple of bad experiences with it. I've got this site, books, a close friend in recovery at work and my husband and doctor helping me.

MelindaFlowers

This site literally saved me. In the first few days I didn't even know how to sit on the couch without a buzz. I felt like an alien on a weird planet with not quite enough oxygen. I was lost and found myself walking from room to room. Time passed incredibly slowly.

I sat on here like I was in a trance for about a week. I was on vacation so I was logged in here probably 12 hours a day and saw the sun come up on a few days, still reading. My insomnia was for the record books.

Hang on here tightly. Possibly the greatest benefit for me was simply it made the time pass quickly.

peanut44

Thank you Melinda! I kind of do feel like a stranger in my own life right now. Everything is off. I think I'm better off at work because it's very structured and lots of distractions.

Hopefully it doesn't last too long. My husband is tired of me going to bed so early.
He's been such a good sport!

toadie54

Keep winning, peanut44!

peanut44

I love your avatar toadie!