Rio97

I drank over the weekend. I feel like such an awful person, not just because of drinking. I need to confess everything. I want to be a better person.

On top of that I have this funny thing about dates and for some reason don't want Aug 3 as my sobriety date. I wish I had stuck with July. I really need to talk to someone but have difficulty admitting what's really going on. There so much baggage from my past. I hope I can make it through today and start over.

Dee74

Hi Rio

I didn't have much attachment to the 6th of April either but it's become very important to me - not because of the date but because that's when I changed my life

you may have lost a battle, but you haven't lost the war.

Regroup, and reconsider your recovery plan. You absolutely can do this.

D

sleepie

I am really superstitious about numbers. I don't know why.
Why not the 3rd of August?

Nonsensical

The alcoholic living in my head didn't like any date for starting a sober life. Doing things my AV doesn't like has an extremely high probability of being the best thing for me.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

Carver

^^^ exactly what Nonsensical said

Rio97

I'm not sure Sleepie. I guess I'm superstitious too. I have family born in August and it just feels wrong. Plus it's odd. I've struggled "picking" the right date in the past.

That's a good point Nonsensical. Ill try to make it through.

FreeOwl

The single best day to embrace sobriety, learn from a mistake, renew our commitment to living the best life we possibly can, and becoming happy, joyous and free.....

is TODAY.

sleepie

The date thing is really common, I didn't know until I mentioned it here and also spoke with a friend who is a drinker years ago.
You have to let it go and do what's best, nothing good will happen by delaying your quit date, for sure.
And you can make it a date that will always be good by making it your quite date, you can give it great meaning.

Rio97

I don't think there's any question alcohol is a symptom of a bigger problem. I just need to find some relief.

Soberwolf

Youl always have us rio i totally agree with D

PurpleKnight

I actually don't know my Sobriety date off the top of my head, I'd have to go look it up as I have it marked on my online calendar from years ago, all I know is it was a Saturday in November.

The reality is we can pick and choose dates, the right days, the wrong days, superstition dependent dates, but the best day for Sobriety is TODAY.

It all starts with a Day 1!!

doggonecarl

Funny thing about our addiction. You are troubled by your sobriety date...but there was nothing "funny" about the date when it came to drinking on it?

If your addiction can override your obsession with dates, your recovery can too. Make this day one!

D122y

Woke up with 0 shame, guilt, or regret. Proud. Still feel like I am healing though. I read it could take a year to really feel great. It took 40 years to get this way. A year to get better seems fair enough.

My step sister's Dad quit drinking 20+ years ago. He is part Cherokee Indian. He used to be such a wild man.

Now he is so calm and quiet. His skin is clear. He is in his mid 70's and he likes to wear sleeveless t-shirts and a jean vest. Cool right? My point is he quit being a drunk and he is amazing now.

I can be amazing too. 1 day at a time.

ccam1973

You can do this Rio. You are going to hear this a lot on this thread... Don't beat yourself up, get up and back on that sober horse. Move on from your decision to drink yesterday and decide today not to drink.

You know life is so much better when we aren't consumed with drinking.

Stay close to SR to help you through. We are here for you.

lilac0721

Rio, you are on the right track by being here.
I also drank over the weekend. I thought I "deserved it" after taking a grueling 2-day licensing exam last week. So I am getting back on the sober bus today with you.
It's funny that you mention the date and not wanting August 3 to be your sobriety date. I have done the same thing in the last several years of on again, off again sobriety. I never realized it until you mentioned it! I would also be averse to quitting on certain days of the week, especially Friday! As was pointed out above, that is likely our Addictive Voice giving us excuses to not put the booze down.
I think August 3 sounds like a lovely day to have as a sobriety date.

Hang in there, and hang out here!

Rio97

Thanks for the feedback. I feel better about making today my day 1. If I'm going to beat this, I need to open up more and share what's really going on. Also tell on myself before I drink. I have a hard time with this because I am introverted and a private person. This has to change, because there really is power in sharing. I just wish it wasn't so hard to let people in.

CaseyW

Glad you're being honest and that you're right back in, Rio97. August 3 sounds like an amazing sobriety date to me. You know why? Because it's TODAY. There's no better day than today to make a decision to live a better life in recovery.

I remember the last time there was a Leap Year, I thought it'd be amazing to have February 29 as a sobriety date. I think I lasted two or three days after that.

fini

Rio,
drinking again doesn't say a thing about being an awful person or not.
what it does speak to is this:
I don't think there's any question alcohol is a symptom of a bigger problem. I just need to find some relief.
which is what you've identified.

finding relief in ways other than drinking...what are your plans about how to do that?
many people here have many different ways.
it's doable, and it works.

EndGameNYC

Dates generally only have importance looking backwards. We don't choose our birthdays, the days we graduate from school, the day we meet the person with whom we'll spend the rest of our lives, if we're lucky, or the date we get our dream job. Putting down the drink on a preferred date does not guarantee sobriety any more than getting married on a preferred date guarantees a happy marriage. My sober date had absolutely no significance to me when I put down the drink. How was I to know that this was to be my last day drinking or my first day of sobriety at the time?

Far be it from me to attempt to pry you from your fascination with dates and numbers, but it's also true that there is no bad day to stop drinking.

Speaking of dates...I originally got sober on April 6, 1983. I then started drinking again in April of 2008, though I don't remember the date. I think it was towards the middle of the month, but why would I care?

Rio97

Still feeling demoralized. This has been an awful day. I feel like I need to see a priest or something. It's scary how we can forget how bad it gets and revert back to drinking. When I relapsed last week, I actually convinced my self it would help. The lies it tells us. Can't live with it, but it feels like I can't live without it.