Uptonogood

My partner of 20 years wants me to monitor her meds every day. She takes 7 pills a day and is on Gabbapenton, anti depressant, anabuse, ect. I think she has a bit of wet brain because she seems to have some memory problems. She got a pill holder tray thing for her meds, so that was a positive sign. She counts out her pills every week, but always seems to forget her afternoon Gabba.

She has done so much work this last year since she went to rehab in January. She works with a counselor, attends AA and has a great sponsor. She is back in school and should be done in September. I feel like helping her take her meds is not out of line, but I wanted to get feedback.

Thanks

AnvilheadII

good gravy, i'd have a hard time remembering SEVEN pills a day too! if you are ok with this and don't feel that you are now the Pill Police, chasing her around and ramming them down her throat, OR having to keep them FROM her so she doesn't take MORE than prescribed, i think that falls within the realm of what partners do?

i also think it's ok to "enable" someone to be SUCCESSFUL....i help my husband every morning get out the door for work - its not that he CAN'T, he is just so NOT a morning person and such a MONOtasker that he can do with a bit of an assist!

Uptonogood

Yeah, if she wasn't doing all the other positive stuff I would be outta here. Thank God for AA.

LeeJane

I do this for my RAH. He is on 11 meds a day at different times. I am a former nurse so I find it very easy to do. I see it as supporting his quit (as he supports mine). He is doing all the recovery work himself, as I do mine.

I don't feel it is enabling in any way. All I actually do is put the meds in the daily containers, he takes them at the correct times of day himself.

ladyscribbler

Sounds like she's taking responsibility for her sobriety. I agree a little reminder about the afternoon pill seems totally reasonable.
You say she's in AA, which is great. Have you made it to any Alanon meetings? I know our area has a men's only meeting, and there are also several that are at the same time as an adjacent AA meeting. I know quite a few couples who treat it like a recovery "date night" and hit their respective meetings, then go out to dinner or do something together afterward.

Uptonogood

I like the date night idea. I'm looking for a therapists right now because I have my own issues.

cynical one

If she remembers to take all the rest of her meds, would it be possible to put a sticky note on the fridge, front door, bathroom mirror (wherever she normally passes by in the afternoon) that says Gabba.
My friend has a note on her front door that says "insulin" to remind her husband to take his with him if he goes out.

PohsFriend

This is one we dealt with, perhaps what worked for us will help

I did not want to be the pill police. My beloved was really bad with any sort of medicine and the addict brain takes over when it comes to meds. We agreed that she would let ONE doctor - a good psychiatrist who understands addiction - prescribe her meds and she would take them properly.

If there are meds your partner is worried about being tempted to take too many/quickly then I agree that helping to sort them into daily dosage containers is reasonable and they can set a reminder on their phone to take them and you can peek and see if they are up to date.

It's one thing (in my mind) id my wife were to say "Fine, you manage them!" and I tell her what to take when. I did not want that job.

Now if she said "Hey, the Xanax is kinda easy for me to mess up with when I am anxious - let's put them into the daily containers and you keep the rest til it's time to refill"... that (to me) is being supportive not enabling or taking on responsibility for what she does.

My big concern in the past was that first of all, I don't want to keep track. Second, if I am responsible for her meds then if she does mess them up it's my fault. Her asking for help is different. That's what partners do.