JerryFish

Job... I quit. Doctor's appointment... I cancelled. Everything else... I gave up. Ordered a lot of beer. And don't know a way out.

I just don't give a f--- anymore.

Sorry.

Blowfish

Hi Jerry. I don't know you but I've been reading your posts and feel compelled to respond. "A lot of beer" is not a solution to your problems. It's the cause of your problems and you know it. Why did you quit your job? You can't just quit a job without having another job lined up. Is there any chance you can get it back? You need to put the beer down, now.

PurpleKnight

Everything was going well Jerry in your last post about 5hrs ago!!

What's happened since?!!

justsaynonono

Jerry, you were a completely different person in your earlier post... what the hell has happened for it to come to this?

JerryFish

What happened was that I fell into a deep depression and I just don't care anymore. My job may be gone, but my parents are there to support me if I need it.

I just got to the point where I couldn't go on anymore. Like f--- it. The alcohol will go away on its own and I'll find a better job.

For now, I can't handle anything. I'll see when I quit. It's just all too messed up.

JerryFish

Depression is the cause of all of this. Maybe I need to get back on antidepressants.

Anyway, I don't want to bring the mood down. So I'll be back when things are looking good.

justsaynonono

good luck sir, please stay in touch via these forums

BringingBackB

Jerry - I think you do care - or you wouldn't be posting here.

You sounded so positive earlier. You know the booze will just make it worse right? It's a temporary ticking time bomb. The thing is.... The alcohol problem won't go away on its own will it?

I hope you put the booze down Jerry, you're worth so much more than this. You can do it as well.

justsaynonono

yea and forget about not wanting to bring the mood down, we are all here for the same reason, as BringingBackB said you are posting here after all

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear that Jerry. Hope you can reach out to the Samaritans/AA or even the ER. You started out the day with some good choices until you picked up beer at the shop. Since then you've made some really bad ones, fueled by alcohol no doubt. Hope you can seek the help you need.

PurpleKnight

Alcohol is not the answer to depression, if you've got depression get help for depression, in the same way if you've got a drinking problem get help for that, but don't use one to self medicate and deal with the other.

In 5 hours moods can change, they can also change again in another 5hrs, but if you need real help with depression go get what you need.

SR is here for the good and the bad times though Jerry!!

justsaynonono

in my experience, alcohol is a major cause of depression or heightening depression, not judging you Jerry as have been there, do what u gotta do, but stay on here to talk it through if u can... peace and love sir

JerryFish

Thanks a lot all. I've laid bare a trauma that is quite terrible. I tried to do so on my own. It's something I always convinced people it didn't bother me anymore. But it's something that has been haunting me. Hence the drinking.

And the depression coming from it make me not care anymore in a bad way. Just drink, it'll go away. See again tomorrow.

Not good, I know, but all I can do. I will realize that this is not a solution. And will get up and get help. And a new job. And I have support from my family, including financial.

What happened to me was awful. And I don't want to get into details. But looking back, every bad habit I've had since was based on it.

Ah, screw it. Right now I'm gone. I'll see some other time.

justsaynonono

Jerry - u dont have to get in to any details - if u want us we will be here, all the time, be safe and make sure you stay in touch...

doggonecarl

Doesn't work that way. And even less so when you have drinking so intertwined with this trauma you speak of.

Both have to be dealt with.

Nonsensical

The title of your post makes it sound like things happened over which you had no control.

Then this:
Doesn't seem like anything fell apart. Seems more like you kicked them apart.

Kicking your own butt will never make you feel better. I hope you start doing something that might have a chance to work.

Rootin' for ya!

Anna

We'll be here for you, Jerry.

Hope2014

Tomorrow can be your new day 1. Don't let this go on another day. Eat a good meal today, drink water, get rest and make a plan. And of course come back here for support. Sending you positive thoughts. You can do this!

JerryFish

I'll be back. It may take a while. My determination to get out of it is back. The trauma... it's horrible. I can't describe it because it would upset people. It needs to be worked on.

And the beer I have left will be my last. I know, I should throw it out now. But I won't. It's enough to get me drunk(er) today and give me a buzz tomorrow. I will do that, My boss is calling tomorrow, I've let him know I'm quitting. Money is not a problem though. That will be all right.

From there on, there will be the rest of my life. I will be sober. I have a speed dating event next week and I am really intending to find someone.

Right now, things are too much.

mary2788

Hi JerryFIsh,

I am really new to sobriety myself.. and I deal with bad news and things the same way as you do.. I have been losing my ivison which has caused a lot of pain and changes.. so I drank… My best friend Died so I drank.. my boyfriend and I broke up.. so I drank.. the list goes on and on..

I also suffer from depression and anxiety and I am on Anti-depressants.. If i know depression.. and boy do I know.. drinking is only going to make it pro-long and worse.. I know your already drinking and thats fine but Just know it is a depressant and when the good feelings wear off as Im aware you know it just gets worse..

I totally understand things suck sometimes, but life is truly what we make it.. and u can be sober and have a happy life! If I gave up every time I wanted to I would most certainly not be here writing this post! I am here to help you if you need it!!