Alynn

Hey guys, I thought I saw awhile back a phone number for a hotline? I'm a real mess over here. I can't forgive myself for this relapse. I can't get past 4 or 5 months. This anxiety and driving me nuts. I'm so sorry.

biminiblue

Alynn, take some deep breaths, from your belly. Pay attention to only your breathing. Relax your shoulders and anywhere else you have tension. Breathe slowly - in - - - out - - -

I'm sorry, I don't know what hotline you saw, but you can call AA in your area and someone will talk with you until you feel better.

biminiblue

I know you are a believer in Jesus, so I just wanted to add that you already ARE forgiven.

You are redeemed by the blood. You are standing on Holy ground. He cares for you and has a plan for you. Like the song says, "So I shake off these heavy chains, wipe away every stain, I'm not who I used to be. I am redeemed. He set me free."

If God is for us, who can be against us? Hang on, you are perfect just as you are and you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

Alynn

Thank you Bimini. How can he forgive me again when each time I say never again. Ugh I'm so upset with myself.

biminiblue

Because He loves you.

He knows you.

There is no end to that love.

It will never leave you.

Please be gentle with yourself, as He would be.

Alynn

I know your right. Im just in a panic

biminiblue

The breathing will help with that.


We all make mistakes. Just keep stopping until it sticks. That is your heart's desire, Alynn. The months that you are sober, your body and mind are healing. I believe you will do this, eyes on the prize.

If I start beating myself up, I get tunnel vision and all the world looks dark. You are going to be okay. Call that AA number and a woman will talk with you. It will calm you.

Alynn

I got in touch with my sponsor. She's going to call me in a little while

strategery

Alynn, sending lots of hugs your way. Just keep your eyes on moving forward from the relapse. You've gotten a significant amount of time before, so you know you can do it. You can learn from this to make yourself stronger. When you think about picking up again, remember how you're feeling right now.

Soberwolf

Alynn stop beating yourself up its in the past what matters is

1 your here with us now

2. Learn from it

Alynn

I'm trying. I just told my mom everything. This is the last time I will ever feel like this. Thank you all for your support

PurpleKnight

Hang in there Alynn!!

Here's a link with a whole range of resources:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

thomas11

HI Alynn, there are some really good techniques out there to calm the mind. Through the years I have taught myself ways to call my mind whether it be stress, panic, anxiety, overexcitement (good or bad) and it has been a lifesaver.
This is just my 2 cents but you've been here long enough to know that you must forgive yourself, and you should. All of the good things you attained during your period of sobriety is not erased because of a relapse. Thinking about you and keep us posted?

Dee74

Cos His love is infinite

You used to be a regular daily poster here Alynn and you seemed to do pretty well - maybe it's time to plug yourself in here again? get some new ideas on a plan?



D

Alynn

Hey Dee. I know I slacked off . I made it to 89 days first then 162. It's time to add more face to face help. I'll be calling sponsor every night as well as mtngs.

I'm having to learn this isn't going to just go away...

Dee74

I wasn't coming down on you for 'slacking off' - just think you got a lot out of SR by using it regularly

D

Alynn

I know you weren't Dee. I just mean I became complacent and put it on the back burner. Kinda like it I wasn't thinking about it, I really didn't have a problem. But I absolutely do. I'll be a regular from now on . SR means a lot to me.

PurpleDan

Because alcoholism/addiction isn't a question of morals. It's a disease, of mind and body. So there is nothing to "forgive", IMHO.

I haven't had experience of relapsing, but I've known many who have. And it's okay. You're welcome in the rooms, as we all have just today. Just don't give up. What worked for me was doing 90 in 90, calling my sponsor, working the steps and surrounding myself with people in recovery. Fellowship with others outside the meetings is what carried me through those early days.

courage2

((Alynn))

I'm glad you're here now and posting and talking to your sponsor & making a plan for more support for sobriety. We all need each other's help.

The past is over. Think of it as washed away. Go forward and be hopeful.

xxoo -- S

Anna

Alynn, you are not a bad person. You have a disease.

I'm so glad you came here and posted and that you are beginning to feel a little bit better.