thotful

I was thinking more about the concept of family and what it means. That it isn't a certain set of people. That it is something that is seen IN ACTION. Like being both a noun and a verb.

"I am your family" as a statement on its own is not enough. For each of us, we decide what family means to us. I believe family and love are intrinsically tied together.

I have people who claim to be "family", who argue that they fit the noun definition. But I don't think they fit with the verb side of BEING family.

Be a source of support for me. Where are you when I am in a crisis?
Be a source of kindness for me. Can you speak with kindness when I'm down?
Be a source of uplifting spirit. Do I feel better after spending time with you, or worse?
Be a source of compassion. Do you spend most of your time finding understanding? Or do you seek judgment?
Be a source of concern. Care about my feelings. Care about who I am. Not as you define me, but as how I define myself. Be curious about that.
Involve me in your life. Engagement? Let me know. Baby coming? let me know.
Respect my personal space.

As I define what this means for me, it will create a roadmap for my own actions. How am I as a brother? As a friend? As a husband? As a father? What I ask of others and will not accept less than, I will strive to infuse into my own words, my own actions, my own life.

I have people in my life who do not engage with me as "family" - not in the way that I define it.

"family" is out there and available and there will be people who enter my life who will embody what it truly means to be family. If it's a sibling of mine, great. If it's not, then it's not.

Wishing all of you well in your recovery and finding love, support, acceptance and the "family" that works for you.