My Intro
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 4
My Intro
Intro
Didn't think posting would be quite this difficult.
Not sure if I have an addictive personality but my problems with alcohol are becoming very...problematic.
It's beginning to consume and destroy me and everything around me.
I'll pretty much drink anything with an alcohol content and it doesn't matter what time of day either.
I have had sober stretches in the past but I always keep coming back.
I know I HAVE to quit if I want to be the happy go lucky woman I used to be. But there is a part of me that still wants to continue the insanity. How cunning...baffling....powerful.
It is also allowing my depression and anxiety become unmanageable. I guess life has become unmanageable.
I'm stuck and no longer know what to do although the solution is very clear.
Thanks for listening.
LF
Didn't think posting would be quite this difficult.
Not sure if I have an addictive personality but my problems with alcohol are becoming very...problematic.
It's beginning to consume and destroy me and everything around me.
I'll pretty much drink anything with an alcohol content and it doesn't matter what time of day either.
I have had sober stretches in the past but I always keep coming back.
I know I HAVE to quit if I want to be the happy go lucky woman I used to be. But there is a part of me that still wants to continue the insanity. How cunning...baffling....powerful.
It is also allowing my depression and anxiety become unmanageable. I guess life has become unmanageable.
I'm stuck and no longer know what to do although the solution is very clear.
Thanks for listening.
LF
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi Lilyfern and welcome. You've made the first step, recognizing that you have a problem.
I will say from experience it only gets worse if you keep drinking.
You say you have had sober stretches in the past so you know this isn't going to be easy, but the only thing you can do is just go through it.
Doing it alone works for some people, but I would say it is rare. Most people need help. Do you want to work on a plan for addressing this problem? I know a lot of people here would be happy to help you.
For example, my plan includes not going to places that trigger me- bars, certain restaurants where the food+wine are so seamlessly tied for me (sushi with while wine for example), I just last week attended an in person AA meeting and plan to continue. I also attend online AA meetings. I have been to an outpatient rehab place and have regular visits with the doctor there and a psychologist who specializes in addiction. I exercise daily, take vitamins and try to do at least one healthy/caring thing for myself daily (such as a facial mask, filing my fingernails, taking a bath or stretching/relaxing). I also have about 6 or 7 books written by alcoholics detailing their journey as well as scientific books about addiction that I read through. Lastly, I check in here daily even if just to read.
All that said I STILL face challenges and have slipped up. I feel like I am doing a lot but the addiction still has a lot of power. I say that to point out that you need to get a really solid plan in place to fight this. It is possible, you can do it, but best to go in prepared and ready to defend yourself with a wide array of resources to help you fight.
We are here whenever you need us. Don't be afraid to depend on others in times of need.
Thinking of you and wishing you well.
I will say from experience it only gets worse if you keep drinking.
You say you have had sober stretches in the past so you know this isn't going to be easy, but the only thing you can do is just go through it.
Doing it alone works for some people, but I would say it is rare. Most people need help. Do you want to work on a plan for addressing this problem? I know a lot of people here would be happy to help you.
For example, my plan includes not going to places that trigger me- bars, certain restaurants where the food+wine are so seamlessly tied for me (sushi with while wine for example), I just last week attended an in person AA meeting and plan to continue. I also attend online AA meetings. I have been to an outpatient rehab place and have regular visits with the doctor there and a psychologist who specializes in addiction. I exercise daily, take vitamins and try to do at least one healthy/caring thing for myself daily (such as a facial mask, filing my fingernails, taking a bath or stretching/relaxing). I also have about 6 or 7 books written by alcoholics detailing their journey as well as scientific books about addiction that I read through. Lastly, I check in here daily even if just to read.
All that said I STILL face challenges and have slipped up. I feel like I am doing a lot but the addiction still has a lot of power. I say that to point out that you need to get a really solid plan in place to fight this. It is possible, you can do it, but best to go in prepared and ready to defend yourself with a wide array of resources to help you fight.
We are here whenever you need us. Don't be afraid to depend on others in times of need.
Thinking of you and wishing you well.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
It sounds like you've spent some time at AA? Or at least picked up some of the lingo. Why not go to a meeting today?
Welcome to the forums. It's not going to get better if you keep drinking. This can be Day One of your new life.
Are you ready to stop drinking today?
Welcome to the forums. It's not going to get better if you keep drinking. This can be Day One of your new life.
Are you ready to stop drinking today?
aka Nesty
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Welcome lilyfern 
You found a Good place to start your Journey . Theirs many hear that are going through the same as you & you should get more replies .
It's doable no matter how deep you may think your into it . Lots of info. in posts & threads ,plus stories . Your on the right track just admitting you know you have a problem .. Hang in there SR will help to make things easier too
You found a Good place to start your Journey . Theirs many hear that are going through the same as you & you should get more replies . It's doable no matter how deep you may think your into it . Lots of info. in posts & threads ,plus stories . Your on the right track just admitting you know you have a problem .. Hang in there SR will help to make things easier too
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,074
Hey Lily x Welcome to SR. The first step to recovery and sobriety is admitting you have a problem. I understand where your coming from about the insanity of drinking, me Ive always been a bit of a rebel and I have done some real crazy stuff fun and not so fun stuff whilst drunk... but ultimately my drinking was causing me more problems, it started to take over my life and causing some problems at home and started to affect us finanically... only YOU can decide if you want to quit. I too tried to control and moderate my drinking many times over the years and failed each time.... the only way forward for me is sobriety. I am on antidepressants for anxiety... to be honest drinking whilst taking them well I may as well have been taking a smartie. Alcohol is a depressant in itself Alcohol and antipressants counteract one another. Ive been 9 days sober, its been a bit of a ride but mentally my head is so much clearer, I am so so focused right now about who the person I really am and the person I used to be as a drunk. If you decide to quit, please seek professional help. I feel as though I have reached a turning point within my life and I feel much happier. If you decide on a life of sobriety from what others have told me and from what I am starting to see you won't regret it. Blessings to you x x x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 4
Thank you everyone for your encouraging posts. I am overwhelmed by the positivity. I am also glad I made that step in posting here.
It's going to be difficult, I have no doubt. Wish it wasn't. Wishful thinking.
Unfortunately it can't be my day one as I have already drank.
Is it best to taper down? I am unable to do a medical detox. Not that much money in my bank account. Then again I have done it in the past. Last stretch was two months. And it felt great. But I have been drinking for so long that oftentimes I forget how to deal with life like a human being and slip back down to old ways.
I was an AAr for a bit. It wasn't particularly my thing. Although I am not omitting it from my plan.
If I write down a few things I plan to do, may you all help me and let me know if I am on the right track?
It's going to be difficult, I have no doubt. Wish it wasn't. Wishful thinking.
Unfortunately it can't be my day one as I have already drank.
Is it best to taper down? I am unable to do a medical detox. Not that much money in my bank account. Then again I have done it in the past. Last stretch was two months. And it felt great. But I have been drinking for so long that oftentimes I forget how to deal with life like a human being and slip back down to old ways.
I was an AAr for a bit. It wasn't particularly my thing. Although I am not omitting it from my plan.
If I write down a few things I plan to do, may you all help me and let me know if I am on the right track?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Originally Posted by lilyfern 
I was an AAr for a bit. It wasn't particularly my thing. Although I am not omitting it from my plan.
If I write down a few things I plan to do, may you all help me and let me know if I am on the right track?
If I write down a few things I plan to do, may you all help me and let me know if I am on the right track?
And of course we will help you. There are a lot of people here with years of experience who will give you some great advice.
You can stop drinking now though. Pour out the rest you have and go for a walk. Step away from the alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
LF, welcome here. It is hard to quit but it can be done. I wasn't sure I was done playing around until one day I'd just had enough.
I ended up in inpatient treatment I was so bad, but it gave me a solid foundation for sobriety. I ended up relapsing at 10.5 months, drank for 3.5 and then stopped again 20 months ago using a combination of SR and AA for support.
When I first tried quitting over ten years ago , I hated AA. Thought it was weird and cult like but I've gained a huge appreciation for it now that I'm serious about staying sober. Maybe go to a few meetings again while working on a plan.
You can do it.
I ended up in inpatient treatment I was so bad, but it gave me a solid foundation for sobriety. I ended up relapsing at 10.5 months, drank for 3.5 and then stopped again 20 months ago using a combination of SR and AA for support.
When I first tried quitting over ten years ago , I hated AA. Thought it was weird and cult like but I've gained a huge appreciation for it now that I'm serious about staying sober. Maybe go to a few meetings again while working on a plan.
You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,074
I was given the option of tapering down if my doctor didnt prescribe meds x We not allowed to post medical advice on here so I cant say yes thats what you should do. Perhaps call AA for further professional advice on that hun x x x
SD 7/3/15 SRJD 7/14/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 316
Originally Posted by lilyfern
I'm stuck and no longer know what to do although the solution is very clear. LF
Welcome to the July 2015 class.
You know the solution.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
It's great to meet you Lilyfern. I'm glad you see the danger in continuing the way you've been.
I drank for decades. When I found SR I felt relief. I could talk openly without criticism or judgment. We all understand what you're going through - discussing things here will help. You can do it!
I drank for decades. When I found SR I felt relief. I could talk openly without criticism or judgment. We all understand what you're going through - discussing things here will help. You can do it!
levonhelmrules
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Taylorsville Utah
Posts: 88
Welcome! Based on what you posted you know what needs to be done.
Make a plan and stick to it. Sobriety is the type of fight that is very difficult, but very rewarding. Once you build up momentum your life and health will be in your control, and other things in life will fall into place as well. We are with you.
Make a plan and stick to it. Sobriety is the type of fight that is very difficult, but very rewarding. Once you build up momentum your life and health will be in your control, and other things in life will fall into place as well. We are with you.
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