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Quick intro... and a request for advice.

Old 07-30-2015, 02:59 PM
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Quick intro... and a request for advice.

Hi all,

I'm a 47 (almost 48) year old Brit. I've been an alcoholic since I was 15. I live in the UK, and am both employed (public sector) and self-employed (indie writer). I've set myself a date, and plan to quit alcohol for good this coming Sunday (August 2nd). It won't be the first time (I managed a three month period of sobriety on the last attempt, two years ago) that I've tried to quit, but I hope that it'll be the last. I rarely, if ever, drink in the early part of the week (Sunday night through to Thursday), which is when I have to go out to work. Thursday night through to Saturday night, I usually polish off one bottle of beer, and one bottle of wine, each of those nights. Friday is the only day that I go to work with a bit of a hangover. That might not sound like a lot... the point is, I am still alcohol dependent, I can't get through the week without that intake, and I have been like that for 33 years. The weekends are my prime drinking time. When I've tried to quit the booze in the past, it's always the weekends where I end up falling down. Very soon, my weekends are about to be extended, as I'm dropping working on a Friday... which leads me nicely on to my request for a bit of advice...

How do you cope with sober weekends? Because, for me, a weekend without any booze at all is... Hell on Earth. I just don't know how to get through a weekend without a drink! The weekends are a release valve for me... my day job is very stressful.

And one more quick question... my face has become staggeringly red of late, from the booze (I know that it's down to alcohol, as I look like a beetroot, but only at the weekend)... does that recede with sobriety?

Cheers guys, and best wishes to you all!

Blackchapel
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Old 07-30-2015, 03:04 PM
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Hi BC, youl find lots of useful advice here plus tons of support

we have a 24h thread, a month of july thread, and a weekender thread specifically there to help newcomers and oldtimers alike the red face and bloating will dissadear with sober time

glad you found us
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Old 07-30-2015, 03:10 PM
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Why not stop today? No need to wait until Sunday, right? I mean, something really bad could happen in that time - you never know

We all had to make it through our tough times. Is it easy? No. Is anything worth having easy? Not really.

Since it was going to be uncomfortable for the first few weeks, I just had to be strong and stop and work through all the discomfort with food, movies, walks outdoors, lots of water, and sleeping when I could.

You can do it.
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Old 07-30-2015, 03:12 PM
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Hey Blackchapel welcome to SR x At the moment my desire not to drink is stronger than wanting to drink and I so hope it stays the same way... im early days at the mo but doing well (even if I do say so myself lol) What ive been doing is ive started to do stuff i wouldnt normally do, i dont go out much (kids) so my drinking was primarily at home, ive been using distraction techniques im not a one normally for movies for example but since quitting im enjoying watching a film of an evening and actually starting to think ooh what can i watch next! I still drink (but not alcohol) i drink lime and soda of an evening too. As I say its very early days for me and your lifestyle maybe somewhat different the only advice I can give is distract yourself do something you normally wouldnt do if it associates you with drinking. I dont know if i have been of any help. But good luck on your journey x x
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Old 07-30-2015, 03:13 PM
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Oh btw... hey my rosy cheeks arent so rosy anymore!
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Old 07-30-2015, 03:13 PM
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Hi blackchapel and welcome to SR. There is a tonne of support here to get you through minute by minute if needed.

It is daunting when you furst jump in but the amount of daily success on here is in inspiration and is helping me stay sober.

Nice to meet you
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Old 07-30-2015, 03:15 PM
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A red face, like one might get while angry, probably goes away. If there are burst blood vessels they may or may not go away.
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Old 07-30-2015, 03:15 PM
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I hope that you decide to stop drinking today!

We damage our bodies by drinking, no question, and often things improve when we become sober. It's just a question of staying sober and waiting to see what happens.

I'm glad you found us.
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Old 07-30-2015, 03:25 PM
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Welcome blackchapel!

You sound ready to change your life. In the beginning, it seems strange to be without it. I drank for many years & was completely dependent on it. It was such a relief to get free. The anxiety I felt in my early sober days eventually went away. I recommend posting here as much as you need to - it helps to keep busy & occupy yourself as you get used to a different way of living on the weekends.

As for the flushed face - I had 'gin blossoms', especially on my nose. Broken veins and high blood pressure combined. After a few months sober, my complexion was almost normal again.

Glad to have you with us.
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Old 07-30-2015, 03:46 PM
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Welcome to SR. You asked for advice?

Originally Posted by blackchapel View Post
How do you cope with sober weekends?
You start by being sober for them. This is in regards for your plan to quit on the Sunday coming up. Means you plan on one last blow out, huh? Get it out of your system?

You don't get drinking out of your system by drinking. You get it out of your system by not drinking. Start today.

If you are sober Saturday morning, post your question about coping with weekends.

Good luck.
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Old 07-31-2015, 03:34 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Blackchapel!!
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Old 07-31-2015, 03:42 AM
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Welcome Blackchapel. You've found a great community with a ton of support.

At first, spending any time differently than what you are used to will take some adjusting. Sober weekends will become the norm after a while. Like I said, this does take some getting used to at first. Find other ways to enjoy your time when you would normally be drinking.

Like the other's have said, our bodies are resilient and with some sober time yours will adjust. My face always looked like I had a sunburn due to my drinking and high blood pressure. After about 5 months, my complexion and blood pressure were back to normal and after 9 months, my liver was tested normal too.

Post here often and lean on us for support.

You can do this.
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Old 07-31-2015, 08:51 AM
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Welcome to SR. I had to keep busy on weekends. I made plans and back up plans. And I check in often, OFTEN on the weekenders support thread here where I've got to know people and found a sense of accountability.

It's awesome not having hangovers. And my bright tomato red face is no longer red. My dad always said he knew when I'd been drinking by my skin. He hasn't had to say that for a while now.

You can do it.
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Old 07-31-2015, 09:25 AM
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Originally Posted by blackchapel View Post
I've set myself a date, and plan to quit alcohol for good this coming Sunday (August 2nd).
I'm quitting Saturday 8/2 as well! We can do this together!
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Old 07-31-2015, 03:59 PM
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Dear all... thank you so much for your kind messages of support, it's very much appreciated. For those who've asked why I didn't quit alcohol last night (when I posted my introduction, and queries), rather than wait until the weekend... I'm afraid that that's just me, and how I do things... when I quit cigarettes, years back, I set myself an end date, and had one last 'party', comprising of much chain-smoking and general tobacco merriment, before-hand. It worked for me, and I'm hoping it'll be the same when quitting the booze. I don't think that I mentioned it yesterday, but I'm also on the high-functioning autistic spectrum... I like to plan, and map-out, everything... it's just the way that I am. But, once again, all of your kind words have made me even more determined to shake this horrible addiction, for once and for all. I'll check back in, in a few days... best wishes to you all. BC
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Old 07-31-2015, 04:10 PM
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How and when you decide to stop is entirely up to you! The main thing is you have a plan of action and the desire to do it! Please do check in and let us know how your doing x blessings to you x
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Old 07-31-2015, 04:24 PM
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Welcome blackchapel

I understand the logic cos I would do that too -I had a good many end dates whizz by me

Jan 2 was always a biggie - but I'd really pull myself up somewhere in March....

From this side of the fence, choosing to stay in the middle of the madness even for a few more days is insane, man.

A lot of bad stuff can happen in a few days.

Still, looks like you're determined so I wish you well.

If you've set a date it's really in your best interests stick to it, and not let them whizz by like so many of mine did.

D
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Old 07-31-2015, 06:19 PM
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blackchapel,
Take it easy at least? I'm in the U.S. So my upcoming 8/1 date is soon. But I'm not overdoing it either.
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