thomas11

Its not even noon and my day has been horrible. Bad pain, from my ankles to my head. One of the guys got pulled over by DOT, $300 ticket for a cable about the thickness of a toothpick that was frayed/broken on a trailer ($47.00 to replace it, peanuts compared to ticket) Customers being......well, customers. Just sucks at the moment.

SilentCinemaFan

Hey nothing is worth losing your sobriety over man. Ride the bad storm today and you'll come out a survivor. Tomorrow is another day and perhaps will be better than today. Always think about the future when you are having a bad day. You'll be fine. Do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better but no need for some jerks to screw up your sobriety.

Soberwolf

Hi Jeff http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...surfing-2.html

sorry your having a bad day know your craving will pass chk the link out

callmemilly

Hey thomas keep posting, sorry it sucks right now. It does for me too. Just get through an hour at a time. The day will end, this will pass. It would be worse to wake up hung over and have to start over.

I keep telling myself it has to stop somewhere, and this is it.

I hope your day gets better.

BBQBOY

Alcohol will not make the way you feel any better...Think through the drink, is temporary relief really worth it.

sg1970

None of that is worth drinking over and drinking won't make it any better. And you know that.

Saskia

Sorry you are having a rough day, Jeff and good that you posted instead of acting!

Anna

Positive thoughts and hugs coming your way, Thomas.

ScottFromWI

Why make it suck more by drinking? Then you'll just be drunk and all the problems will still exists. Plus you'll have the shame, guilt, fallout and who knows what consequences of your own creation by choosing to drink.

It's a lose-lose choice all around Jeff, and it's purely your addiction trying to talk you into it again.

firstymer

C'mon, thomas11. Hang in there. Ride it out. Things will get better, faster than they will if you drink.

We are in your corner. You can DO this.

doggonecarl

It's good that you are posting before you make the decision to drink. Perhaps you'll intervene and maintain your sobriety.

The desire to drink comes as no surprise. The relapse happens well before the actual drink and your posts of late have been pointing in this direction, particularly the one earlier about reaching 68 days sober. You wrote:

If you think drinking is no big deal, it could mean you think your sobriety is no big deal. And if sobriety isn't a big deal, isn't important...? Well, you can see how that opens the door to you addiction.

You said you were exhausted. Tired is the "T" in the relapse mnemonic, HALT. That, along with the stress of your day and anger is setting you up to fall. Be strong.

dwtbd

Days that suck, suck. Sorry to hear it feels like a pile up on you. Write out a check for the ticket and send it, make one of the guys fix cable. And that part will be behind you.
OTC analgesics actually do wonders to take the edge off irritating pain. And then find comfortable place in front of the TV and veg out.

CaseyW

You don't have to take the first drink today no matter what. It's not going to fix any of those problems and could potentially make them worse or cause other additional problems. Keep posting in here once a minute if that's what it takes, thomas11. You're in my thoughts and prayers...

thomas11

That's the million dollar question isn't BBQBOY, is temporarily relief really worth it, and sometimes my mind says: hell yes! I guess that's why we are who we are.

Soberwolf

You done great not drinking Jeff

thomas11

Carl, thanks for your post and in particular this: The relapse happens well before the actual drink I'm starting to see that. Intentional or not, I can sense my desire to drink scheming way ahead of time. Tricky little bugger. I just stayed grouchy for awhile and it passed. We have to deal with life as it comes whether we are sober or not, right?

thomas11

dwtbd, I agree with you, taking a timeout for the remainder of the day is what I needed. I am the type of person though who feels guilty vegging out, especially during the work week. There is always something to do, but the people here and my wife do a good job of putting a leash on me when necessary so I don't destroy myself.

dwtbd

Much better a little guilt over Judge Judy, then something worse. Hope you got over that bump in the road, and don't look now, but you may just be putting on some sober muscle

Dee74

It's not just 'temporary relief' tho - It's so much more than that.

it's a return to all the stuff you want to get away from - the crazy threads, the secrecy, the risk of injuring yourself again, not living up to your potential, disappointing your loved ones....

that temporary relief could send you into oblivion for years - you may never get out.

Melodramatic? not really.
It happened to me Jeff.

2 months sober - one night of drinking - didn't pull up again for 2 and a half years - 30 months of the most destructive round the clock drinking I ever did.

D

zjw

I almost posted a thread like this the other day. I wrote it all up hit post and the website screwed up. I was really thinking about a drink. why? whats the point i figured. I thought oh my panic might come back tho if i drank and my AV was like so just drink more and i'll be honest it sounded like a great suggestion. I figured maybe i'd just embrace my drunken self again and if it became an issue i'd simply drink more was my logic. It made perfect sense and man i was sure tired of dealing with BS.

But the website never let the thread get posted I hit the back button and copied my post to a word document and thought I"m gonna think this over before i post it.

I had a rough day but ya know what its over with now and that was the other day i'm doing better today.

Just gotta move through the nonsense just push forward. it will work out.

I'm gonna go re-read my post i was gonna put up to see if it makes any sense now that i've had more time to think about it. I bet it wont.