Feeling sharp, too sharp almost.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 737
Feeling sharp, too sharp almost.
I faced a bit of a challenge tonight and was moved by how it all turned out. I met with a couple old friends who are moving to the west coast. I offered to box up their bicycles to ship (I'm a bike mechanic) after hours, as a gift.
Now I certainly did used to enjoy late nights at the shop, working on side projects in the quiet solitude, burning through a 6 pack then going home to another. I've been mourning this a little and avoiding staying late at the shop as a result.
One of these friends is an old drinking buddy, and an alcoholic. I love him, and he's at peace with it. I spent all day practicing telling him that I'm sober now, worried he was going to bring beer as payment or try to goad me into hitting the bar.
I could smell booze on his breath when he arrived. His relaxed, slow way of talking threw into sharp relief how very sober I was, and I realized how edgy and impatient I sounded as we discussed logistics for shipping their boxes.
Eventually, as I talked him and his girlfriend through the process of reassembling their bikes, I looked at their dazed faces and said "I'm sorry if I seem edgy, I quit drinking 10 days ago and I don't know how to hang anymore. "
He seemed stunned and then admitted that he was drunk and his gf was stoned. The pressure was relieved just like that! They were really supportive and no one apologized for being in the state they were in.
We exchanged hugs and heartfelt goodbyes, and they left. I turned to walk back inside the shop and a full on rainbow was arching in the darkening sky to the east, right over the shop. Seriously.
The feeling that came to me was one I haven't felt in years, of things being too perfect, too potent to be random. The joy was almost unbearable. I remembered a time when I believed in God.
I'm so grateful that I made this decision.
Now I certainly did used to enjoy late nights at the shop, working on side projects in the quiet solitude, burning through a 6 pack then going home to another. I've been mourning this a little and avoiding staying late at the shop as a result.
One of these friends is an old drinking buddy, and an alcoholic. I love him, and he's at peace with it. I spent all day practicing telling him that I'm sober now, worried he was going to bring beer as payment or try to goad me into hitting the bar.
I could smell booze on his breath when he arrived. His relaxed, slow way of talking threw into sharp relief how very sober I was, and I realized how edgy and impatient I sounded as we discussed logistics for shipping their boxes.
Eventually, as I talked him and his girlfriend through the process of reassembling their bikes, I looked at their dazed faces and said "I'm sorry if I seem edgy, I quit drinking 10 days ago and I don't know how to hang anymore. "
He seemed stunned and then admitted that he was drunk and his gf was stoned. The pressure was relieved just like that! They were really supportive and no one apologized for being in the state they were in.
We exchanged hugs and heartfelt goodbyes, and they left. I turned to walk back inside the shop and a full on rainbow was arching in the darkening sky to the east, right over the shop. Seriously.
The feeling that came to me was one I haven't felt in years, of things being too perfect, too potent to be random. The joy was almost unbearable. I remembered a time when I believed in God.
I'm so grateful that I made this decision.
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